Mortified... Sex help

Okay so I’m an 18 year old female. And I am not a virgin but when I had sex tonight I bled a lot. I have only had sex three or four times before this and I only bled a little bit the first time and I thought this counted as popping my cherry. Is it possible that it DIDNt pop those first three times and did today? I’m on birth control so I don’t see why it would cause my period to start (I’ve heard sex does that) I’m just confused. Any ideas?

Hmm I thought it only bled the first time when the hymen breaks but I’m sure people more knowledgeable than me will be along soon.

Meanwhile a mod will probably move this thread to IMHO or another forum because this forum is for threads about moderation of the board and other issues.

It’s possible your hymen didn’t entirely break the first few times. My girlfriend said she still had a little bit of a hymen for her entire first relationship (she wouldn’t let him break the rest because it hurt too much), and the second one finished it off.

Alternatively, you could have an infection that made the inside raw and more susceptible to bleeding. It’s probably nothing to worry about, but seeing an Ob/Gyn is something you should probably get around to just in case.

Moved from ATMB to IMHO.


In my (paltry) experience with virgins. After the first time the hymen has broken it, like any tissue, tries to heal and seal/close up/build a scar tissue obstruction again.

If you break it again soon, then the scar tissue or part healed membrane will prolly bleed again. Actually this can in my ( repeat paltry) experience with virgins continue more than a few times until the hymen no longer exists.

What is the colour of the blood? that gives an indication of whether its a menstrual flow or a result of a hymen tear.

Contraception can give a different type of flow. If I remember correctly some types of pills give a distinct flow.

Anyhoos wtf do i know am a guy.

My hymen didn’t officially break until the 2nd or 3rd time I had sex. Fun times.

Has to also depend what’s going on - was there, erm, vigorous foreplay, for example … same guy or another; maybe this guy was of diff dimensions …

Fwiw, I’d give it a few more proper poundings and see how she goes.

/Dr Internetz

a) Sex does not cause your period to start. In any circumstances. Who the hell told you that and why did you believe them? Please get a copy of “Our Bodies, Ourselves” from the library and learn how your body works. Having sex in a state of ignorance is not a great idea, except that it’s a great way to get an unplanned baby.

Since you are on the pill, the thing that causes your period to start is that you finished taking the “active” pills in the cycle and began taking “inactive” pills (do you understand how the pill works? Do you understand you have to take it every day at the same time, without fail for it to protect against pregnancy? Do you know what to do if you miss one?)

b) Every woman is different with regard to the size, shape and location of the hymen. Some girls do not bleed at all when they have sex the first time (having lost their hymen doing sports, or because it never blocked the vaginal canal to begin with - not every hymen does), others bleed a lot, and over multiple days. It all depends.

I have been having sex for almost 40 years, and sex can most certainly jump start your period, especially if you have an intense orgasm several days before your period is due.

“Jump start” and “start” are certainly two different things. There is no causal relationship between having sex and having your period. Sex does not cause menstruation, to put it more clearly.

Aside from the fact that as stated by Ellen Cherry sex does not cause menstruation, ever, you don’t get a normal menstrual period on the pill. Your period is never “due” unless you stop taking active pills, and that’s what brings on the bleeding associated with your period (which, again, is not a period at all). If you skip through the inactive pills and take only the active pills for a year, it doesn’t matter how many times you fuck – or when – you will never bleed from your vagina except through injury.

Maybe it seems that way, but that has zero basis in physiological reality.

Agree that sex can’t really get your period to start prematurely, but just when you think you’ve finished menstruating that month vigorous sex + orgasm can cause you to quickly realize your cycle wasn’t nearly as finished as you thought it was. TMI, sorry.

There are instances of retained hymen i.e., it’s broken but still there and can bleed and be irritated. Or, as mentioned it might not have been completely broken during your first few times. Hie thee to a GYN anyway as if it’s a retained hymen, it can make sex painful and cause infections.

Add me to the ‘Stubborn Hymen’ club. Took me 5 times. 20 years later, my niece had such a problem she went to the doctor for it, and he had a name for it, apparantly genetic! So maybe it runs in the family.

Anyway, Kdizzle99, you can certainly bleed through your birth control pills. There are literally hundreds of different kinds, with different hormones in them, and often when you’re young a doctor will go with the least amount of hormones…which won’t work for everyone. I got lucky straight out of the gate and the first one I was prescribed worked great; when I went a couple years later to start it up again, the doc told me ‘no no, we need to try something else’ and I bled for a month. Back to the originals, and no problems, not even side effects.

Try to keep clean and avoid penetrative sex for a couple of days, and keep an eye on your flow. If it fades away, wait a few MORE days, then try again. If it doesn’t fade away, it may just be your period telling you who’s boss <and your period ALWAYS WINS, argh> and you will want to schedule another exam to 1. Make sure everything’s alright, just in case, and 2. Maybe see about trying another pill.

Also, if you feel abnormal pain during intercourse, ask the doc to make sure you don’t have something along the walls causing problems. Could be STD <it happens>, could be a benign growth, but pain isn’t something you should be feeling in any ONE spot, so if you feel that, make a note of it.

And it sounds like a doc appointment is a good idea anyway; don’t be afraid to ask the doc questions, because that’s the only place you’re going to get the REAL straight dope.

I’ve had it happen, as have many other women. Intense contractions from a really good orgasm a few days before your period is due and voila, you have your period before you are out of the bed.

I wasn’t on birth control pills and I wasn’t injured.

Actually, you can also get breakthrough bleeding while on the pill, for a number of reasons (taking the pill at different times, smoking, too low of an estrogen dose, etc.). I would regularly have breakthrough bleeding while taking Ocella. It’s not a full-on period but can be a pretty decent amount.

No, it can’t. You may have some contractions which case some discharge from the cervix, but it’s not your period. It may be the old stuff that didn’t come out from your LAST period, but your next period isn’t triggered by uterine contractions, but by hormones which cause the uterine wall to release the endometrium. These hormones are not affected by sex, vigorous or otherwise.

It’s more often the case that you’ve got a small cyst or lesion within the vagina or on the surface of the cervix which vigorous sex painlessly ruptures and causes to bleed.

While it could be breakthrough bleeding (somewhat misleadingly called “spotting”) the OP’s cause of bleeding is probably an incompletely severed hymen, as already stated. Most hymens have holes, and sometimes they’re pretty stretchy, and the penis goes right through one of the holes, leaving most of the hymen intact, or it breaks through part of the hymen but leaves the rest intact.

If it’s a problem that persists, see your Gynecologist, and she can snip away the rest of your hymen so it doesn’t bother you anymore.

Also, be aware that while you bleed, you’re at increased risk for getting and giving STD’s. Be extra careful to use condoms and dental dams for ALL sexual contact, even foreplay.


What you are experiencing may well be in the range of “normal” but just to be sure, see a doctor. Talking to a doctor when you first become sexually active is a good idea anyway. They can tell you a lot. And don’t be shy with the doctor even if asking questions is tough for you. Write them down and bring them with you. Asking your doctor sure beats learning it the hard way. Besides, the doctor has heard most, probably all, of it before.

But also, read up on the subject. Don’t trust everything you read on the web about sex but genuine medical sites will have good information. I also second you reading “Our Bodies, Ourselves” to learn about how your body functions.

I gotta back Lurker on this one. I’ve had that happen too.

Really? With hormonal testing and putting the fluid under a microscope to verify that it’s fresh menstrual fluid and everything? 'Cause that’s what I’m saying…I’m not saying that there’s no red stuff coming out of your vagina, I’m saying that vigorous sex doesn’t bring on a menstrual cycle. Hormonal fluctuations bring on menstrual cycles.

Not everything that looks like menstrual fluid is menstrual fluid, and not everything that comes out of your vagina is a menstrual cycle. Pedantic, perhaps, but hey, this is The Straight Dope Message Board!