My job is difficult to explain, but part of it entails reading off lists of utility companies, cities and townships to callers.
Ohio has a lovely (?) little town called Tipp City.
I informed a caller he had to contact the “Titty of Tipp City”.
And I said it twice.
Darren Pang talking about PK Subban…“The white way”.
I once was doing a presentation in nursing school and had to use the expression “Power of Attorney”. Only i said “Power of Eternity” which was interesting since we were talking about end of life care. Only once I said it, I couldn’t stop saying it. Through the whole presentation.
And it was a group presentation, during which I had insisted upon doing the spoken presentation part of it, because I didn’t want to do posters, and I had a decent speaking voice compared to the others. Except I flubbed the whole thing.
I once escorted a dead man cross-country back to his family. I went to his burial, after which his mother thanked me for my assistance. My automatic reply was “It was my pleasure.”
Many years ago my great aunt, a very shy and self-conscious lady, was getting onto an elevator when she bumped into a handsome, well-dressed man. She tried to say “Oh, pardon me” or “Excuse me” but it came out as “Oh, pursue me!”
I was working in a restaurant with a couple of guys who were having a playful argument. At some point one of them says “You can kiss my ass!” To which the other one (a very straight, macho guy) responds “Well, you can stick your dick in my mouth!” He never lived that one down.
My response to the hot chick in the convertable while my 16yo self was trying to play it cool at the Wendy’s drive-through lane:
“Working hard?”
“Yes. Are you?”
:rolleyes:
To my immense personal pride my girlfriend let me install the Ubuntu flavor of Linux on her old laptop, which she has since then endorsed and enjoys using. To celebrate and in order to display my accomplishment to the world I bought her a cute little top with an Ubuntu logo on the left side of the chest the last time I was at an open source conference.
This weekend we were talking to an acquaintance who happens to work at Microsoft, and my girlfriend happened to be wearing that top. I saw my chance to wage some nerdy warfare, so I pointed to the logo (on her left boob) and pointedly told him to “Suck it!”
I then did a pretty darn good imitation of a tomato and swore not to open my mouth for the rest of the day.
And ONE and TWO and THREE and SWOON.
Not a slip of the tongue so much as an inappropriate phrase written in an email to a German colleague. I referred to some functionality I had put in place as the final solution. I actually have no idea if they even noticed this but it was only when I was reading the email back after sending it that I realised it might not be an appropriate phrase to use.
Well now I know what it feels like to have coffee come out my nose. Thank you.
makes mental not to not eat or drink while online ever again
(One a similar note, I worked in a cinema and at one point we were all given t-shirts with the name of an upcoming movie on the left breast. Several men asked me what the right one’s name was.)
I belted out a real good one about 15 years ago in a bar one night with fellow TV coworkers and a fellow from a network in DC. I was having a good time talking to the guy about all things tv (and of course trying to network and perhaps learn something about an elusive ‘great job of the future’) but one of the guys I worked with at the time kept interrupting me and and changing the subject, making it hard for me to work up the conversation to where I could directly ask for help.
Finally at one point the network dude went to the bathroom, and in frustration I turned to my coworker and said “I wish you would quit cockblocking me.” I have no fucking idea why I said that.
In the thousands of times I have reviewed that statement since, the best I can come up with is I had only heard of the phrase a few days before so I think it was still rattling around in my brain waiting to be filed in the right spot. Either way this thread reminded me of that night immediately.
In the grocery store a few days ago, I saw a “Sale” sign advertising roasted ready-to-eat chickens for $5. I pointed to the sign and said to Celtling “Wat a bagane!” in my best (read very poor) imitation of the old Saturday Night Live skit. (Or was that In Living Color?)
Whatever it was I feel certain that the elderly Asian man who came out from behind the counter to help me was completely unaware of the cultural reference, and clearly hurt and bewildered by my rudeness.
Not funny, I’m still mortified. It’s just one of those jokes that I learned so young, and accepted as funny so early, that I never stopped to run it by the civility filter.
:smack: Doh! :smack:
There was nothing I could say or do to make it better. But I still wish I could run back there and explain that I’m not really a complete @$$hole, I was just imitating one I saw on TV. 
2gigch1, are you a straight male?
Yes. Yes I am. Hence the mortification.
That is indeed fucking hilarious.
A number of years ago, my mom, one of my sisters and I were having lunch with a couple of cousins in from out of town. As we were playing family catch-up, Mom mentioned her brother, who had recently moved by saying “You know, Dick’s in one of those condom…umm…over toward Huntertown.” right about the time the restaurant went deadly quiet.
We had to ask for extra napkins to clean up the beverages spewing out of our noses and mouths. 
“Wat a bagane” what does that mean? Why is it funny and why is it insulting? Ignorant Brit wants to know.
“What a bargain!” said in a very stereotypically Asian voice.
Thanks. Oh dear…
It was an old skit about agressive small restaurant owners in NY City. They would hawk their food in a strong accent always ending with that catchphrase.
: sigh :