No. That is wrong on so many levels I won’t even get started.
To the OP, Ellen DeGeneris always struck me as someone who took Jake Johanssen’s act and worked it to remove all semblance of humor.
Gottfried is brilliant live, but his best stuff is not suitable for broadcast.
Good for Imus if I’m wrong. 
I’ve heard them both and I don’t see much of a resemblance, but I’ve often heard him referred to as kind of a forefather of shock-jocks and Stern in particular. I"d love to know more if that’s not really so.
I saw him on Jon Stewart not so long ago. There was definitely something very strange going on. He was acting like a little kid who’d just drank Mountain Dew laced with Pixie Sticks.
I know Colin Quinn’s been brought up already, but the man is shockingly unfunny. How the hell is he so famous?
Colin Quinn: unfunny, untalented, and a waste of valuable air time. What DON’T I understand?
I saw him while flipping channels last night (I really was flipping channels) and couldn’t believe that he was again using “Arnold the Retard” as a panelist for some lame gameshow. As seldom as I’ve seen his show (and I’ve never seen it for more than 4 minutes at a time) I’ve seen a mentally retarded adult called “______ the Retard” each time- why AAMR or some other advocacy group hasn’t raised 400 kinds of holy hell about his exploitation of the retarded I have no idea. It’s not the least bit funny and the poor guy has to know that people are laughing at him (and not in the good way) and he’s being called “____ the Retard”.
I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned Jimmy Fallon. There are two good things you can say about him:
1- he’s a talented impressionist
2- he’s very cute
His comedy, however, whether hosting award shows or making lame comedy music videos or, most annoying of all, his complete frigging inability to make it through a skit without cracking up (it worked for Conway and Korman; for him it’s just unprofessional and it throws off the timing of the other performers [except for talentless ass Horatio Sanz, who’s usually cracking up with him) make him one of the most annoying comics to come along in a long long time. He can be funny IF he can actually say his lines and IF somebody else has written his material, but his improv and writing skills are on par with previous “Most Annoying SNL Cast Member of the Year” winner Melanie Hutsell*. (BTW, the “did I just get knighted or was I queened?” comment when Ian McKellen kissed him wasn’t an improv.)
*If you don’t remember her (and there’s no reason why you should) she played Tori Spelling, Jan Brady and “Delta Delta Delta! Can I help ya, help ya help ya?” girl. One critic called her “the lady of a thousand faces… all of them the same”.
[Margo Ledbetter voice]Thank you veddy much![MLv]
…for releasing that repressed memory.
Jay Leno. The very definition of mediocre humor devoid of wit, edginess or thoughtulness. Go for the obvious joke everyone will get, nothing else. I once read how the writers of The Onion consider Leno like the devil and aim to be humorous in the exact way that he is NOT humorous. That pretty well explains it.
Jay Mohr. Anyone seen his stand up act? Not very good, which probably explains why he went into acting.
Robin WIlliams and Eddie Murphy post-1990. The sad part is that they used to be funny, but then decided to give it all up at some point to make easy, B grade comedies. It depresses me to no one to see Eddie Murphy do crap like Daddy Day Care when he used to be so funny back in the 1980s.
I agree with Bob Saget, but I never really thought anyone thought he was funny in the first place, so its kind of a weak point.
Colin Quinn. My GOD, easily the worst SNL anchor ever.Jeff Foxworthy.
Sorry if that gave you flashbacks to a bad time of your life.
Sweet Zombie Jesus! How could I overlook the incredibly heinous Jeff “Butt steak” Altman?
I admit, I really like Jay Mohr as a comic actor, and I think he’s hilarious on that sports show. Never caught his stand-up, though.
Ohhh. Classic SDMB thread. My Rage Burns With The Fire Of A Million Suns by lno:
Jay Morh was very funny in Go and Jerry Maguire. I don’t watch The Most Annoying Sports Show Period. Call me old if you want, I’d much rather listen to Frank DeFord or Bob Costas (even though he can be pretentious and smug) than second rate talk show hosts interview boring sports stars and try to be funny.
And speaking of the thread, if you saw Last Comic Standing, in which almost every comic standing at the end was not very funny, especially the winner, you would have seen Jay Mohr's stand up. He was the host.I’m not really a sports fan anyway, I just chuckle if I happen to catch a bit of him on the radio. But Mohr was also quite good in a serious role in Suicide Kings, and he came away from that project with the ability to do the best Christopher Walken impression in the business.
What about that load Jimmy Pardo? I couldn’t stand that commercial on Comedy Central where he’s swinging his goddamn arrogant, oblivious “gee whiz I’m funny, don’t you think? well I do” face around saying, “Yuck it up, ya bastards.” His “Comedy Central Presents…” felt like a thirty minute long introduction.
[QUOTE=Chefguy]
Buddy Hackett. This is a guy who made a career out of being butt-ugly. Never was, is, or will be funny or considered even mildly amusing by anyone other than someone with the comedic acumen of asphalt.
QUOTE]
Amen. I hated Buddy Hackett with the passion of a million blazing suns. Terrible beyond belief.
Robin Williams is about one-tenth as funny as he thinks he is–and, in serious roles, he has the deftness of Robocop. Note to Williams: going without your lithium doesn’t make you funnier.
Ray Romano is a mystery to me–especially considering he is reportedly the highest paid male actor in Hollywood today. Go figure.
Jay Leno has lost much of his comedic chops, and so has Cosby. That said, comedy is generational and situational. What’s funny today is agonizing tomorrow.
Sorry, I started another thread before seeing this fine one.
But, again, my nominee is overwhelmingly: Colin Quinn, the “Black Hole Of Comedy”.
I like Eddie Murphy in most of his movies that I’ve seen, and I liked him on SNL, but never cared much for his standup routines. There was too much depressing material about family fights. Wasn’t he the one who did the thing about his mom throwing her shoe at him when she was mad?
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Bobcat Goldthwait yet. I’d like to lock him and Gilbert Gottfried in a soundproof phone booth together and throw away the key. Even if the jokes are funny, the voices are so annoying it just doesn’t matter. Nails on a chalkboard sound better than these two.
What about that curly-haired red (or brown) head who starts all her lines in a sororitorious “Okay…I’m like…”, and gossips most of the time?
Suddenly, her face is on all the sitcoms.
Kathy Griffin. Highly annoying.