I was in basic training in 1989, in a hellhole known as the Mattawa Plains near the hellhole of Canadian Forces Base Petawawa. The hellhole of a hellhole.
On the first day of basic, the school CO asked if anyone played the trumpet or some similar instrument. Some idiot put his hand up, and whammo, he was the school bugle boy. And every morning 'twas his job to play reveille at 5:30 sharp.
Anyway, Petawawa during the summer had the irritating property of being scorchingly hot and humid all day but cold at night. So every morning we’d wake up cold, and all metal objects - like a bugle, for instance - were also cold. So every morning, Bugleboy had to warm up his lips.
Since reveille was at 0530, Bugleboy began to warm up his lips, using just the mouthpeice of the CO’s bugle, at 0529. Reveille is bad enough, but the sound of that SOB warming his lips up at 0529 was the most irritating sound ANY human being has ever been subjected to in human history.
Bububububububububububububububububububububub! Bububububububububububububububububububub! Bubububububububububububububububububububububub! Bubububububububububububububbubububububub! (Pause) DAAAAAA DA DA DA DA DAAA DA DA DA DA…
I was in basic training in 1989, in a hellhole known as the Mattawa Plains near the hellhole of Canadian Forces Base Petawawa. The hellhole of a hellhole.
On the first day of basic, the school CO asked if anyone played the trumpet or some similar instrument. Some idiot put his hand up, and whammo, he was the school bugle boy. And every morning 'twas his job to play reveille at 5:30 sharp.
Anyway, Petawawa during the summer had the irritating property of being scorchingly hot and humid all day but cold at night. So every morning we’d wake up cold, and all metal objects - like a bugle, for instance - were also cold. So every morning, Bugleboy had to warm up his lips.
Since reveille was at 0530, Bugleboy began to warm up his lips, using just the mouthpeice of the CO’s bugle, at 0529. Reveille is bad enough, but the sound of that SOB warming his lips up at 0529 was the most irritating sound ANY human being has ever been subjected to in human history.
Bububububububububububububububububububububub! Bububububububububububububububububububub! Bubububububububububububububububububububububub! Bubububububububububububububbubububububub! (Pause) DAAAAAA DA DA DA DA DAAA DA DA DA DA…
I couldn’t think of any noise so annoying that it would make me want to commit a violent act upon my own ears, but plnnr’s post jogged my memory: The Carl’s Jr. commercials in which people are eating their burgers and making that noise… It couldn’t possibly be the actual sound of a human eating a hamburger. I think it must be dubbed in from some sort of wildlife documentary about carnivorous insects. I have to lunge for the “Mute” button every time.
Random clicks and chirps annoy me; I get distracted and end up sitting in this constant state of waiting for the next one to happen.
Oh, and I too hate hate HATE the garbage truck that comes around and wakes up me waaay too early in the morning. Whats worse is I have hear it when its going up the other side of the street, then again when it turns around and comes down my side!! Grrrr!!
I am surprised no one has mentioned this one yet. Those annoying loud car stereos!!! As a good friend of mine put it … why is it that people who play their stereos really loud have such bad taste in music?
It’s worse when they have POS systems, with the bass turned up way too high, and everything on the car rattles, children lose their balance, produce falls from trees, and birds involuntarily defecate all over the place.
The goddamn beagle that lives around the block from me. The damn thing is the opposite of a rooster; every evening it just HAS to bark to let everyone know that Mr. Sun is going to be setting soon.
Now most normal dogs when they bark say, “Woof”. But not this dog. Oh no, this hellhound has the most obnoxious, loud, bark in the world. It’s like a cross between a yelp and a howl, strung out for about three seconds, one second pause for a breath, then repeated.
"AYOOOoo AYOOOoo AYOOOoo AYOOOoo"
If I didn’t know better I’d think the owners were over there repeatedly cramming pineapples into the mutt’s rear. Nothing I can remember hearing before makes me as teeth-grindingly angry as that dog. One of these days I’m going to snap, run over there, slowly strangle the mutt, then take a bite out of its corpse while roaring in victory at the sky.
Just thinking about that howl is making me pissed…
The sound of men playing with the change in their pockets. It’s enough to make ME want to pop off my knee cap and slurp down the contents as the other poster stated. (Smam, great rant BTW.–ditto fo rme as well.) UGH!!!
MAKE IT STOP!!!
Ditto for the fidiots who think it’s cool to clip their fingernails at work. WTF?!?! Nice, reaaall nice. Morons.
When people think they need to laugh nervously (or who do it as a BAD habit) after they state or stay something. “Yea, let’s go with the original design, heee heeeee heeeee snork” Dumba$$. (I sit 3 feet away from him in our cube area. NO, there are no cubicle dividers, it’s open.)
Old noisy fans
Noisy motorbike fart sounds, that come every minute (from the bloody neighbour who lives in the next apartment block)
Cat mating noises (they sound freakily like human babies!)
Bloody irritating station announcements (yes, I live in Singapore) - “May I have your attention please, for your own safety, please stand behind the yellow. Line. Please stand, behind the yellow line. Thank you.” repeat as train approaches, repeat againt as train stops
and they managed to make it sound so deadpan and…just plain irritating.
Never listen to any Coptic music, then. They have melodies that are melismatic enough to make one syllable strech out for pages of printed notes. The polyrhythms on cymbals are pretty cool, though.
For me, it’s the sound of someone else’s breathing. Doesn’t matter if it’s someone breathing loudly on the phone, sleeping in the same room as someone else and hearing them breathe, holding a sleeping baby, the spacewalking scene in 2001, whatever, I cannot stand the sound of it. My brain unconsciously starts trying to synchronize my breathing with the other person’s while at the same time trying to maintain my normal breathing pattern, gets confused, and drives me batty.
