Um.
Now I have to interview for two positions.
Sorry. It’s got to be nerve-wracking. I’ve only had to do it as part of a committee and even then I lob the softball questions.
Yeah, but you Kneaded to know.
Talk to me when you’ve had to have a fired employee escorted from the building by the police.
“I’M NOT LEAVING AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”
"Want to make a bet?
Hey, Chief, could you send an officer over to my office, I’d like someone escorted from the premises? Thanks, I appreciate it.
Would you please collect your things. The police officer will be here in a few moments to escort you to your car."
Just thought of another one…similar to the “Stink Talk”, I also was surprised to learn that as a manager I would have to reprimand employees for drinking on the job.
The men weren’t as much of a challenge as the women. With a guy (it usually the older male employees who would show up drunk), I would just pull them to the side and say “Clock out Joe, you had too much to drink before work”. They would say “Sorry”, clock out and leave and usually it wouldn’t happen a 2nd time.
But with women, I never knew there were so many who were “stealth” drinkers. These ladies, young and old, would put tiny amounts of vodka in their plastic Big Gulp jugs and sip on it all day long. The giveaway was usually that no matter where they went you would never see them without that cup. I had a girl one time who was seen by other employees going out to her car and mixing up the grain alcohol and tea to drink for the afternoon!!!
It was tough to discipline them because they always denied drinking and the company I worked for did not do drug/alcohol testing. And we had to be careful of making an accusation, because then they could run to HR and say they were being falsely accused, etc. Typically when I’d pull them in the ofc, I would tell them that other people noticed a “smell of alcohol”. 99.9% of the time they would say “Oh, it’s the cough syrup I’m taking”. Why cough syrup I don’t know but that was always the excuse.
One lady burst into tears and admitted to drinking and that she’s trying to get help, etc. I felt bad for her, but I ended up firing her when she got so drunk she could barely stand up from her chair one day.
Yeah, we got trained on how you can’t assume anything about alcohol, that some diseases make the person smell like alcochol. Touchy stuff.
I got used to using Hand Sanitizer while working on my last job, driving Armored in downtown Minneapolis. We’d do all the County stops including the court houses and jails. Plus some bars and stores. Some of those push bars, your hand would come away slimy. Ewww! 
Liberal amounts of hand sanitizer was an absolute requirement.
So then I start my new job, working at a University. What do we do? Well, on second shift we go around, lock up all the buildings and check all the doors. So like I said to my bosses when asking for industrial scale hand sanitizer dispensers (after they complained about the illness rate among officers);
“We touch every freaking door knob and push bar in the entire place, every day. What do you think we’re picking up?”
Before we got them, I was using my own stuff.
Then one day I hear a rumor that I’m drinking on the job.
You know, because I smelled like alcohol. :dubious:
Fortunately my supervisor knew better than that.
OTOH, I can see how an alcoholic could use it as an explanatory excuse.
Part of me is looking forward to it. To get some fresh blood into the place, and the people that went were weak links anyway.
I just happen to have one of those at the end of each arm. Hope my boss doesn’t notice.
I’m also relieved to see that as far as I can tell, none of the stories told so far involved me.
When I had to tell one of my contractors that he couldn’t celebrate the birth of his first child with drinks in the office, because the office building was an alcohol free zone.
And then when one of my contractors got canned for using a work phone to run up an £800 phone bill to a phone chat line. I volunteered to go to a meeting that day, so I didn’t have to see him after the managers did the deed. I did have to tell all the other guys in the team, though.
Si