I told my Office Manager I would post the question here, for any and all to chime in -
We have a woman who works here. She smells bad. Not like BO, but kinda a mix of dirty hair/dirty clothes and cats. Not so overpowering that my eyes sting, but way gross.
Do any management types have any experience with this? She’s very nice, so it would need to be dealt with in a nice way - but we all agree that we can’t take it anymore…
Thanks!
IMNSHO, the best way is not to sugar coat it. Just come right out and say, “We’re sorry to have to say this, but you need to improve your hygene. You come to work smelling of cats, and soiled clothes. It’s affecting your co-workers, and making it unpleasant to be around you. If you are a shower at night person, I think you need to go to shower in morning, and you might want to put your laundry into dressers so the cats can’t get at it.”
It’s blunt, but it is honest. And it leaves no room for misinterpretation.
And, sad to say, I’d suggest documenting the event. If she does not, or can not, change her reek - you might have to consider firing her.
I’m not an HR type. I don’t own a business. I have been told I needed to shower more often, while I was in the Navy, though. (I was showering daily - I just really sweat a lot.) It’s embarrassing and humiliating - but it also made it clear to me that it really was a problem other people were having with me.
Are you her coworker or the manager she reports to?
If you are a coworker, ask to have a one-on-one conversation with her. Once you are in private, express regret that you have to tell her something difficult. Tell her, in as nonjudgmental language as possible. “I frequently notice that you or your clothes have a smell, like cats or like they haven’t been washed.” Acknowledge that this is sometimes hard to notice on oneself. If you think it’s appropriate (her washer is broken or something, she’s living out of her car) offer to help. This conversation will probably take care of it in many cases, unless the underlying problem is pretty serious. If this doesn’t work, ask her manager to speak to her (see manager instructions). The advantage of taking this approach if you are the coworker is that you can avoid being someone who takes a problem to management. Also, your coworker will probably thank you (although she may not say it aloud) for not taking a problem about her to management. However, if her condition doesn’t improve, you should take the concern to her manager or your manager.
If you are her manager, do essentially what was in the coworker instructions, except with the addition of telling her that fixing the problem is a requirement of her job.
In either case, try to avoid gossipping among peers about the topic. That rarely helps the problem and often causes additional problems. Peer-to-person and manager-to-person conversations solve this problem.
You would not believe how often this discussion comes up on the HR message boards. This advice is based on years, perhaps decades, of discussion of the topic, with a pretty solid consensus among experienced HR folk.
Just for my information, about how old of a woman is she?
If I were her boss, I’d schedule a private meeting with her, and I’d be completely frank. If you skirt the issue, there’s a great possibility she’ll leave the meeting without being clear, and the bad hygiene will likely continue. Don’t be insulting, but be blunt. Smile. Appear to care about her personally.
“This is really uncomfortable for me. First let me say that we like you a great deal and enjoy working with you. But, it has been brought to my attention, and I have noticed myself, that your personal hygiene is lacking. You are emanating unpleasant odors. It is negatively affecting other employees, to the point where productivity is down, because their focus is diverted. Please take any steps you feel necessary to improve the situation.”
"This is a very awkward matter to bring up, so I’ll get right to it: there have been some complaints about the smell of pets on your clothes. I understand you have cats [ed: or was that just a guess?] and I need to make sure that our customers and coworkers who are sensitive to the smell of pet dander aren’t inconvenienced.
“Again, this is difficult for me to bring up, and I’m sure it is a hard message to hear. Please make sure that your work clothes are freshly laundered when you come in each day. I appreciate the work that you do here, and I hope you like working here, but this is something I had to bring up with you directly.”
Afterthought: I would not offer help to the lady in cleaning her clothes as was suggested earlier. It’s a nice thought, but it’s a compromise that really isn’t in anyone’s interest. Adults must be able to clean their own clothes without assistance from the boss or coworkers. We’re dealing with a work problem, not a child- or social-work situation.
If it hasn’t already been done, have a memo or flyer or something typed up and handed out to all employees that addresses the concern in a general fashion. Have it mention that it is required that all work clothes must be clean, all employees must wear deoderant, etc. She is probably already picking up on subtle clues that she smells bad and this might be enough to get her to fix the problem on her own.
Then if the smell doesn’t get better management needs to sit her down privately and gently tell her that they have noticed the smell problem and that it has been mentioned to them by others as well. Then first find out if there is anything going on that she may have no control over, like maybe her hot water heater is busted so bathing might require heating water on the stove to fill the tub or maybe she has a disease that causes her to smell no matter what she does.
If none of that is the case and it is obviously just being negligent of her hygiene then they need to address what can be done about the situation. Does she smell like dirty cat litter and clothes that have been worn a time too many? Maybe she can get an automatic litter box and do laundry more often. Does she smell like she isn’t bathing regularly? Maybe she needs to shower at night before bed so she is clean but isn’t rushing herself in the morning. Once it has been addressed, drop it and see if it gets corrected over the next couple of weeks. Then if it doesn’t and you have the original memo and a documentation of the meeting with her discussing the problem you might have to let her go.
Believe it or not, we actually watched a corporate training film on this in a management course.
First of all, don’t use language like “This is a very awkward matter to bring up” or “This is really uncomfortable for me”. It erodes your credibility as a manager and representative of the corporation by presenting you as if you are asking an inappropriate questions.
Just simply tell them that you have been geting some complaints about their odor and hygene. It is not a reflection of their work, but it is affecting the other employees and this person needs to address it.
Corporate videos aren’t always the answer. They’re usually made by HR henchman who don’t give a shit about maintaining a working relationship.
Having experience with this, you want to be supportive of the person. You’ve just confronted them about something that’s very personal, don’t be a dickhead manager about it.
What they said. It’s like a bandage - rip the sucker off clean and fast. Yes, it will hurt, but it has to be done or you risk prolonging the problem.
I’d make sure you’re specific that it’s her clothes, not her body odor, that’s the problem. She may shower everyday, use deodorant and put on the same dirty clothes, so “personal hygiene” might confuse the issue.
Ravenman’s script is excellent. Places the blame on the cat’s shoulders, but the responsibility on hers.
I disagree with **msmith537 **- I think that acknowledging discomfort alleviates it, and there’s empathy to be gained - but he and I seem to have very different management styles, so I don’t think his won’t work, it just wouldn’t work for me. I’m more of a Mama Bear type with my employees - one of the team against the world instead of an hierarchical authority figure. Both styles work in some cases and fail in others.
When I had this come up, my employee stank to high heaven of body odor and rose scented perfume. You could literally follow her trail around the store like a bloodhound, even 20 minutes after she left. Yes, it was an uncomfortable conversation, but hints and general memos were not effective.
Good suggestions all…
Lest someone get the wrong idea about my work gossip, my Office Manager is also my aunt. We (along with the attorneys) have been about ten years, so we have been able to work out our relationship both here and at work. Sad to say though, even though I have not gossiped about any of this with others, the smell is so weird and gamey that everyone is talking about it. (Not as bad as it seems - we have only 8 people working here)
I think you’re right in pin-pointing the “dirty clothes” thing. I think one of the reasons this is so difficult is that it is such a unusual smell. BO would be no problem…
Speaking of which - years ago when I first started, we were temporarily sharing an office with the ex-partner of the head attorney. They employed lots and lots of people, and we used to get a kick out of watching their managers. They too had a problem with a stinky employee - straight up BO, and really bad. So, after many complaints, their Office Manager walked through cubicle row, stopped outside the stinky one, looked around and said very loudly…
“Boy, somebody sure stinks around here!”
And kept walking… :eek:
I should clarify what I meant about the helping part. For a manager, this should be limited to putting the employee in touch with resources. For example, lots of companies have employee assistance programs that, if the woman is temporarily homeless or completely overextended caring for a sick relative, can put her in touch with relevant agencies. Companies that don’t have an EAP sometimes refer employees directly to social services.
If you are a coworker, what you are willing to do to help just depends on the relationship between the coworkers. Some people would be happy to have a coworker they consider a friend come over and do a few loads of laundry if their machine broke. Or maybe help could take the form of offering to pick up a Saturday shift for the coworker so she can deal with major housecleaning that needs to happen.
On whether you should acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation, my vote goes for “a little bit, but absolutely don’t overdramatize it.” You should make it clear that the conversation to come is a negative performance-related one rather than a neutral review of next week’s schedule, so you don’t come across as a heartless automaton. OTOH, you’re not telling her she’s dying of cancer.
Actually, I don’t think that this is a good script for this. It’s nice to try to soften the blow while still trying to be direct, but there’s too much room for a misunderstanding there. What if she walks away from the conversation thinking that it’s the pet dander that’s specifically the problem? She might just start keeping the cats away from the dirty clothes, still wear them, and assume that the problem is fixed. Then you have the same problem, and she has a legitimate excuse to be pissed when you have to have a second conversation with her.
ETA: Forgot to add, I would probably have this conversation at either the end of the day, or when you know that she can disappear for a little while. Odds are excellent that she’ll need to go cry somewhere after this meeting - I know that I would.
Awesome point. Seconded.
I have to recommend against this. I have been in offices where this was the way management chose to handle the problem and all it did was cause resentment among those of us who took a damn bath every day. We knew who the problem people were, and we knew management was copping out because they were too chicken shit to have a face to face meeting with the stinkers about it. It was also combined with the inappropriate clothing issue, and we all knew who the offenders were for that, also. We are talking about maybe three people in an office of 75 or more. It caused big resentment (and embarassment for the three) because the managers were cowards. Not a good move.
Much easier in Australia. You just walk up and say, “Hey mate smells like something died in your undies.”
I was just coming in to say the same thing.
After reading the recent thread on hoarders, I wonder if something like that could be the problem. It’s a total WAG on my part, of course; just something that came to mind.
Well, what else to expect from a country that, according to the commercials, thinks “Foster’s” is synonymous with “beer?” 
You realise we don’t drink it, we export it.
I’m glad I read this thread because we have the same problem at our place. And we have a farm, this is not an office full of people in business clothes. And this woman’s odour is noticeable. And it’s up to me to deal with it. My husband is the boss, but he’s handed it off to me, bless his heart.
I’m going to have to be direct and am having a terrible time thinking of just what exactly to say. Some good suggestions here.
I dread it, though, gotta be honest.
What a horrible situation. I was in class a couple of semesters ago, and there was a student that had a real bad problem with BO, or dirty clothes. We were all confinded near him during class. On top of that he seemed to be socially ‘off’ just a lttle bit. He had an odd squaky voice, rotten looking teeth, and would sip coke during every class. Each time he would take a small sip, and screw the cap back on the bottle. He was just… weird.
Anyway, by the end of the semester he was sitting alone on the front row to the right, and every other student would seek the seat farthest away from him in the back left of the class room.
One day after class I noticed he (legally) parked in a handicapped spot. I don’t know if the handicap was related (I can’t imagine how), but I suppose its possible. It was a joint enrollment grad/undergrad class so it’s not likely we’ll ever cross paths again as I should be completing my masters work by next semester.