This is how my company chose to roll up several issues into a recent email (quoted below). I quoted the whole email with irrelevant items to show how they combined it. I don’t think this was the right way to go or will work. We have a couple dozen people here. It only works if the person is aware that they stink or or are the cause of whatever the issue is and in that case it causes the embarrassment you note which is minimized one on one. In our case I don’t think it will work because the guilty parties are oblivious and likely one on one discussions will need to follow.
A confidential chat, behind closed doors, would be best.
Be polite, yet straightforward.
We have a problem like this, with an employee.
However, this problem isn’t getting fixed.
Well, gee, thanks. :rolleyes:
ships don’t ask and his countrymen a heaping shipful of Coors Light
The reason I say send a memo or post a notice is because that way everyone is aware of the rules and was given written notice about it and it provides her with an easy out-she has the opportunity to do something about it without having to be insulted about her odor to her face. Then if you still have to have a meeting with her she can’t say she didn’t know she needed to shower more often or whatever because everyone got the memo. I know if it were me I would much rather have the opportunity to pick up on a big hint (like an email or something sent out to everyone) and fix the problem before having to be called into a meeting about it.
And, on another note, be prepared for her to say something like, “Yeah, well George smokes and every time he comes in from having a cigarette it is like spending the next hour in an ashtray and Cindy wears so much perfume it makes it hard to breathe around her. Are you going to have this conversation with them as well?” and be prepared to answer that question and possibly talk to George and Cindy as well.
Or outright laughter. In our case it was the “please don’t eat in the bathrooms” memo - we printed it out and posted it all over our cubes because - well, it really needed to be done.
In this case, since everyone knows who has the problem, and everyone knows who doesn’t, it just makes the acknowledgement public - which would be humilating to her, and functionally give the rest of the office permission to gossip about it.
Where I teach, we’re advised that poor hygiene is disruptive and has to be dealt with. I’m just glad I haven’t had such a student, because it would be a very unpleasant thing to manage. I’d probably have to kick it to one of my deans instead.
I haven’t had this problem since I worked in residence life at a college. Occasionally, I had to confront roommates who were smelly. The memo idea is terrible - if it’s a small office and everyone knows who pongs, you’re only making it more embarrassing and giving permission for the gossip to spread.
Best approach is to find someone who is friendly with the employee or an immediate supervisor and just put it out there. “Listen, Sally, I don’t mean any offense, but there’s a strong odor coming from you and it’s noticeable to me and others in the office. Since we’re all in such close quarters, let’s figure out how we can solve this” and take it from there.
Obviously the “we” is really “you,” but if she needs advice on soaps, deodorants, and so forth, someone can help. I used to work with a really granola woman who used all-natural stuff - you know, Tom’s Toothpaste, and stuff like that. Perhaps she doesn’t want to use chemical soaps and deodorants - well, there are “green” alternatives.
It’s helpful to get some background info if possible, as in Enright3’s example, to see if there is another factor at play. I’d also make a point of approaching this directly - beating about the bush will create all kinds of bad feelings. Bottom line, it’s a difficult conversation, but the more direct and brief it is, the better it is for everybody. You can also present it as “I like and respect the work you do so much, I wanted you to be aware of this problem” so the person understands you’re doing it out of concern and respect for them primarily, and the impact on co-workers secondarily.
This also calls for a follow-up, which hopefully can be a “hey, I’ve noticed you’ve addressed the issue about the odor - I’m really happy about that.”
Um…actually that’s not true. Corporate video’s are usually made by some professional training company. People generally don’t take them all that seriously though because a) the acting quality and production values tend to be low b) they are often 10-20 years out of date by the time you see them and c) the topics are often very silly.
I just mention it because I find it amusing thatsomeone actually produced a training film on the subject.
Do not allow the individual in question to distract or derail the conversation.
The appropriate response to this question is “we aren’t here to discuss Cindy’s and George’s challenges. We are discussing yours.”
I think you can be empathetic without appearing uncomfortable or weak. I would say something like “I know this might be difficult for you to hear but…”. I don’t know. It always sounds disingenous to me when a manager tells you how awkward or sorry he is when he has to tell you something negative.
Right. Like any of you smelly Aussie bastards would notice. 
Ah, I see what you mean. Have the one blanket notification, and then you can have the individual stuff. Gotcha.
To me it sounds selfish - if you think its awkward to tell me this, imagine how much it sucks to be ME! Like I give a damn that you find its awkward to tell me I stink - you told me I stink!
From what I can tell, general feeling is its your damn job as a manager to tell me awkward things - that’s why they pay you the big bucks. Like I care that its “hard” on you.
The only thing I have to add from the memo we got on “how to tell your underlings they stink” a while ago is that if it’s a large company and this person reports to more than one person and you have the option, it’s generally best to have news like this come from a manager the same gender as the employee. If possible, I agree.
I had to counsel a student once after several of his classmates complained to me. He had an indescribable foul miasma that extended about ten feet from his body - old laundry, BO, nasty feet. I kept him after class and said, “Student, this is not in any way intended to make you uncomfortable, but you need to understand that you have a very unpleasant body odor, and others have mentioned it to me. Please make sure that you shower every morning and put on clean clothes before you come to school.”
Period. End of story. The poor boy was mortified, but there was no one to witness his embarrassment, and after that short talk, there was never another problem.
(colour/bolding mine) Absolutely not. That’s just asking for pain. The supervisor would be an option, but not a co-worker.
Getting a co-worker to do it is just unacceptable and unfair - quite aside from the fact that it’s a total cop-out from Management, all it’s going to achieve is for the stinky one to take umbrage at having their behaviour corrected by a peer.
And later, when the problem *finally * gets addressed at Management level, the poor employee who tried the ‘friendly approach’ is going to be assumed (by Stinky) to be the sole cause of the complaint and treated with absolute loathing from then on.
Employee hygiene is an important issue, and it’s definitely a Supervisor/Manager issue.
The OP stated that the office is comprised of eight people. I think the dynamic might be a little less rigid than a larger organization, which is why I proposed that option.
Send her a card.
Roses are red,
You stink.
Violets are blue,
Clean up your stanky ass, now.
I would first try to put on her desk a nicely wrapped parcel containing a deodorant and a perfumed soap.
Hint.
Yeah, we tried that with a problem guy in our company. It didn’t help.
In his case a talking to didn’t help either and he got a reputation and left.
A few years ago I worked with someone with absolutely *horrible * breath. Whenever we had a face-to-face conversation I could smell it. Even from 3 feet away. I suspected it was due to tooth decay or something. I also suspected he had no idea his breath was so bad.
Other co-workers also mentioned to me that he had very bad breath. I figured he had to be told, for both our benefit and his.
How should I tell him? I thought about it for a while. If I simply came out and told him it would probably be embarrassing for him, and I didn’t want to embarrass him. So here’s what I did: I created an anonymous Yahoo email account and sent him an anonymous email. In the email I said, “I am a co-worker of yours. I really need to tell you that you have a problem with bad breath. I have noticed it, and I assume others have as well. I would advise going to the dentist ASAP to see if it’s due to a dental hygiene issue.”
Guess what? It worked! He never mentioned to anyone that he received the email, but he did let out supervisor know that he had to take off work for some dentist visits. His bad breath eventually went away, so I guess the dentist found the problem. And he was never embarrassed during the process. So I consider this technique to be ideal.
I had a teacher in high school that refused to use standard deodorant or toothpaste because of the aluminum and such. I remember other students complaining that he smelled, and knowing that the teachers were concerned about it as well. I think what ended up happening is the principal had a talk with him and gave him some Tom’s of Maine products. I don’t know whether it worked or not because I never noticed the stank in the first place.
On the other hand, sometimes they’re just the thing.
“Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You may remember me from such corporate videos as Cologne: Less is More and So You’re the Bathroom Seat-Shitter!”