Those peanut-butter flavored atrocities that ended up in my trick or treat bag with the black and orange wrappers
Any licorice that’s NOT made by Twizzlers. Twizzlers imitators taste like waxy plastic. Not worth the $.99 for a package of 100, no matter how tempting.
Pixie sticks
Ju Ju Bees… lost my first tooth at the movies (seeing Back to the Future) in a Jujube.
I love Cinnamon Altoids! In fact, I’m eating some now.
In the words of Ralph Wiggum, “They taste like burning!”
Let’s see…does anyone remember that A&W Root Beer gum with the disgusting oozy centers? That stuff was pretty foul. And it goes without saying that black licorice and Circus Peanuts are pretty noxious.
Another vote here for the absolute awfulness of cherry cordials. The texture of the cherry and the icky flavor of the syrupy stuff which runs all over your hand the second you bite in to them is just … ugh. Makes me feel like I’m eating severed ears preserved in alcohol. I can’t even think about it any more.
Mallow Cups are horrible too. I love chocolate and I like marshmallow under the right circumstances, but a chocolate covering over a mushy marshmallow center is just so wrong.
Salt water taffy and conversation hearts (those little heart-shaped sugar bombs you see around Valentine’s Day with the sayings on them) are just a waste of ingredients.
I remember a short lived candy bar that I think was called 7-UP. It was chocolate with seven compartments. Each compartment had a different nasty filling. Each was worse than the one befor. We bought one once and between 4 kids we could not finish it.
Black licorice is Satans poop.
I’ll have to be bold and say that Heaven is paved with circus peanuts, light poles are made of Red Vines licorice, the sidewalks are made of those white marshmallowy things with the multi-colored jelly globules, and God’s throne is made of fresh peeps. Though I may be int he minority in this.
I agree that Satan poops black licorice, but his underwear has stains of Jelly Belly “buttered popcorn” and “coffee” flavored jelly beans (what the hell were they thinking??). I also think “maple” flavored easter chocolates are from hell. And there’s another easter chocolate candy filled with “pink.” I think it’s supposed to be some sort of fruit, but it tastes like mold.
Divinity. I hate divinity. Pecan divinity, regular divinity, I don’t care what it is, I hate it. Sugar and egg whites whipped up. You can use cake frosting and whip that, too, and then let it air dry. Tastes like spackle.
[tangent]
Someone once, long ago, read to me aloud (I could’ve said I read it myself, but it wouldn’t be true) an excerpt from a Thomas Pynchon novel–possibly Gravity’s Rainbow–that described the protagonist’s encounter with bizarrely-flavored English candies. As I recall, it was hilarious & brilliant. Anyone care to track it down & post it here?
What about those liquid filled gum cubes? I remember Dr Pepper, 7 Up, A&W Root Beer, and several other equally foul mint flavors. The liquid was like cold snot and it made the gum feel like chewing rubber bands.
Allsorts, yes, I believe that’s what they were called.
But dear racinchikki dredged up a repressed memory with this:
Urrrrrrgh. Aaaaaaaaagh. Bleahbleahbleah! The ONE time I ate divinity, I reacted like Tom Hanks in Big, after he ate caviar. I knew I’d repressed that for a reason. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
!!! I LOVE cherry cordials!!! You could bribe me with those. Licorice & coconut are both yummy—though one of my non-coconut-eating friends says shredded coconut looks like fingernail clippings.
My vote for nasty candy is anything fake banana-flavored. Mary Janes also fall on that list. But my big vote has gotta be for “gummy rats”. Made of the same stuff as gummy bears, only in the shape of a lifesize rat. My next door neighbors used to bring home marshmallow-flavored ones from their vacation to Atlantic City every year.
SATAN’S POOP. It’s a sig line! It’s a heavy metal band! It’s two things in one. And also an image that wlll never leave my band.
I hate any candy that incorporates fruit and chocolate (fruit belongs in the fruit bowl, not the candy dish) and as for “generic red” forget about it. All imitation red flavors taste the same and don’t taste like the real thing. Ick!
Yipes!!! I thought that they’d stopped making those!!! Yum!
I once ate three packages of them and couldn’t taste anything for a week. True happiness…
Another vote for peeps.
Around easter, there are those displays of pink, yellow and blue peeps. It’s a yearly tradition, while grocery shopping, for me to pick up a pack of the yellow ones and show them to my girl.
“Look! Freshly born baby chickies! Aren’t they sweet!” Then I pick up the pink ones.
“OH NO! There seems to be something horribly, horribly wrong! I think they’re suffocating! It must be this plastic wrap! Quick! Go for help!” Next I pick up the blue ones.
“Nevermind. It is too late. They’ve gone to a better place.” It’s called Peep Theater. And it’s the only thing that they’re good for. Yuck.
yet another vote for peeps. my stomach hurts just thinking about them. plus, my mom would always tatke them out of the wrapper to put them in our easter baskets. great, thanks mom, green plastic “grass” covered peeps. yum.
root beer barrels. who thought these up and why? absolutely disgusting.
i also have no tolerance for anything grape or orange flavored. except grapes and oranges. no candy, ice cream, soda, nothing. it never tastes right, and just tastes chemical-y.
on the other hand, my favorite jelly bellys are the buttered popcorn and the roast marshmallow flavor. how do they do that?
That sounds like my husband! I LOVE fruit and chocolate. Godiva used to make a truffle that was blueberry filling covered in white chocolate. Orgasmic.
Those chocolate/orange or chocolate/raspberry balls you whack on a table and it opens up into slices are heavenly.
I love making brownies or fudge with orange or raspberry flavor. Said husband will NOT touch them. More for me.
I also love lemon creams - chocolate candy with lemon filling you find at the candy counter or in a box of quality chocolates.