Most doomed movie romance

Cafe Society
#1

So many movies resolve with the wedding, or at least the apparently-permanent relationship commitment. But it seems to me the very differences that made the courtship so amusingly awkward also doom the relationship. Which movie couple/marriage will result in divorce/separation the fastest?

My candidates, in roughly ascending order of duration:

When Harry Met Sally

  • her OCD-ish tics will drive him insane in a year
  • his wit will pall, and I even suspect his alleged prowess in bed will simply turn exhausting. Although that’ll probably take more than a year. (while we’re on that, why is that utterly dropped when they first sleep together? No mention either way)

An Affair to Remember

  • aging playboy falls in love with goody-two-shoes schoolmarm type? And claims to love children? He’s off with the nanny before the first baby gets into day care, I bet.

Green Card

  • because, Andy McDowell. And Gerard Depardieu.

Runaway Bride

  • because, Richard Gere. And, you know, the title.

Notting Hill

  • middle-class bookish type and international movie star? Nope, not seeing it last.

Four Weddings and a Funeral

  • because, Andy McDowell. Although perhaps if they still only meet at other people’s weddings …

What’s Up, Doc

  • I give it a shot as long as she doesn’t sing.

Sleepless in Seattle

  • kid pushes them together. They stay until he gets to 14 and hates them both, but maybe that holds them together too?

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

  • she probably stays through thick and thin, but him? Not so sure.
#2

Across the Continental Divide. She’s a nature-loving, wilderness-living environmentalist. He’s a cigarette-smoking, big city journalist. They separate before the movie’s over without, as a little old lady points out, consummating.

#3

Beauty and the Beast.
As soon as he becomes just another blonde, smug prince, she’ll lose interest.

#4

I don’t agree with “Harry Met Sally”…the only real thing that changed was they started having sex. Yes, they are living together also, but they spent most of their time together anyway.

“The Graduate”

I don’t even know if they’re going to make it til the end of the bus ride.

“Top Gun”

She’s a foot taller than him, and they’re both gay.

#5

Silver Linings Playbook. I was actually a little shocked they even presented the happy ending in that one.

#6

Deckard and Rachel, Blade Runner director’s cut.

#7

Romeo and Juliet (1968 or take your pick)

#8

Isn’t this thread supposed to be about romances where at movie’s end the couple was still together and, y’know, alive? Because…y’know.

#9

White Palace. As my Mom said, “The problem isn’t the age difference. The problem isn’t the class difference. The problem is that he’s a neatnik and she’s a slob!”

#10

Grease

Sandy won’t be able to stand the greaser lifestyle forever. Likewise, Danny won’t attempt to change who he is again.

#11

I thought something like that myself. This movie is the ultimate unrealistic women’s fantasy - a handsome man with a captivating personality who will accomodate you in every way, including converting to your religion and living next to your parents.

Then again, that describes my brother perfectly, and they’re still together after sixteen years, so hey.

My candidate is The Breakfast Club: Claire and Bender. In about three weeks, they realize that their lives are headed in entirely different directions, and all the earnest revelations in the world won’t change that. Andrew and Allison…they might have a shot.

#12

Along Came Polly: No one can be happy with a manic pixie dream girl for very long and he’s too uptight to enjoy her antics once the newness has worn off.

#13

That’s the one I was going to mention. Nothing like having both members of a relationship dysfunctional. Mutual lack of emotional control is not a good formula for a long-term relationship.

In my experience, crazy people (and I come from a family of crazy people) don’t necessarily like other crazy people. (One family member, after getting out of the mental hospital after one of his stays, said "Those people are crazy!)

#14

Peggy Sue Got Married
Strudel ain’t gonna fix that one, lady.

#15

Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins in both Pygmalion and My Fair Lady.

In the original play, they last see each other as she’s walking out the door to attend her father’s wedding. Shaw was adamant that the final scene where she comes back to him be cut from the films, but they ignored his advice.

He said the worst thing he could imagine was a misogynistic middle-aged bachelor hooking up with an uneducated 19- or 20-year-old girl. If there had been an epilogue to the story, she would have married Freddie.

#16

This is my vote as well, but it only lasts until Danny realizes that Sandy is still never going to put out no matter what she dresses like.

#17

Many of the Bond movies end with romances that are doomed. Which the subsequent Bond movie tends to either ignore or demonstrate.

#18

Kat & Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You

Lloyd & Diane in Say Anything

Sam & Joon in Benny & Joon

Macon & Muriel in The Accidental Tourist

None of them last more than 3 years before imploding.

#19

Love, Actually - Colin Firth and the Portuguese cleaner. He’s rebounding from his wife cheating on him with his brother just a few weeks before and he’s asking a woman to marry him when they have never had a conversation in the same language and he cannot possibly even be divorced yet.

Really, any Richard Curtis-written romance.

#20

If Eliza had any brains, she’d marry Pickering, an intelligent nice guy with an independent income.