So I’m standing on the train platform in Philadelphia yesterday waiting for my Acela to come in and whisk me away back to DC. I always take this train back on Sundays after visiting my significant other in the City of Brotherly Love. I’d drive, but my road rage can’t handle I-95. Plus I hate paying the stupid tolls for the “pleasure” of driving in Delaware. I mean I hate Delaware so much that if my car ran out of gas, I’d push it across the border before I would spend one dime on gas in Delaware! I HATE YOU DELAWARE!!!
Anyway… back to the train…
I’m standing and I’m waiting. The platform is quite crowed and we are all waiting. And waiting. So to pass the time, I reach into my little messenger bag to get my headphones out. But the headphones are stuck on something. So I tug a little bit harder and what ever the headphones were stuck on come loose and eject itself from my bag. I look up to see the item sail through the air and land in between the train tracks. It takes a minute to register what I’ve just seen.
A ten inch purple vibrator flying through the air. MY ten inch purple vibrator.
It lands on the ground with a thud. The impact must have caused the switch to turn on because not only is there a ten inch vibrator in between the tracks but it whirring around on full speed.
By now everyone is staring at me. Most are laughing, some are starring in disbelief and others look at me with pity. One of the Amtrak baggage porter jumps down to the track and picks up my special toy. He hands it to me, doesnt say a word, and then walks away.
I can never show my face at 30th Street Station again.
I was going away for a weekend, so I had to buy two weeks’ worth of cat food at the Shop Rite. You know those little old ladies who “help” you bag your groceries whether you want them to or not? Well, she was staring at can after can after can after can of cat food coming down the conveyor belt. She finally stood back and said, in the loudest voice imaginable, “My goodness—you must have an ENORMOUS PUSSY!”
This isn’t of the same beautiful caliber as the OP, but when I had surgery two weeks ago, the pre-op room didn’t have a bathroom; it was three hallways away. (I was having surgery on a pilonidal cyst, which is basically a huge infected hair follicle on the cleft of your ass. Yeah, it was fun.)
I was already in my hospital gown–actually two, one for the front and one for the back–and I had gauze taped to my cyst, right at the top of my ass.
So I walk to the bathroom, do my thing, and walk back down the three hallways to get to my room again.
As I walk past the nurses’ station, one of 'em says, “MA’AM! You might want to check your gown in the back!”
The gown had gotten stuck to the tape on my ass. Which meant I’d been cheerfully walking throughout County hospital with my bare ass completely exposed.
And what I find most amazing is that the nurse was the only person to mention it! HELLO, how many doctors/patients/other nurses did I walk by? I know damn well there were people walking behind me! Lots and lots of people!
Maybe they thought I’d escaped from the psyche ward, and were afraid to get too close. sigh
At any rate, I yelped “Oh my GOD!” and yanked the fabric down over my ass again…and then I looked at the nurses and just had to laugh. “I guess it’s nothing you haven’t seen before!”
great story, tramp, but as Annie X-mas alluded - the story is pretty much in line with your user name, isn’t it?
I am just imagining everyone on the platform focusing on a 10" purple vibrator, its noise amplified against the metal of the tracks, buzzing madly away, with tramp trying to nonchalantly cross her arms and assume a look on her face of “oh, hey, nothing’s up with me…what? why - I don’t know either - what COULD that buzzing be?”
Let’s see, this thread has the purple pleaser, Monkey’s thread has the guy lifted six feet into the air with jones and the boys out, and a kid videotaping herself (himself?) with fruit and their dad watching. Nope, I can’t see how anyone can compete.
Best I can do is stripping naked after a shower while unknowingly in full view of a cafeteria my first day in college. (Hey, I grew up out in the country, no one could see me dress. :rolleyes: ) Fortunately, only one table of girls noticed. Or, at least, was still staring when my roommate came in and closed the drapes.
