I am erecting an alter in your honour - I fucking love you!
This seems insignificant after reading the rest of these…but I once stood in the mouth of a (dead) 44ft humpback whale. While cutting out its tongue. It had washed up dead on the beach, and we were harvesting the skeleton to hang in a museum. In the same vein, I have flensed a whale using a meat hook and a 10" chef’s knife. I also had to be pulled out of the flesh of a whale when I mis-stepped and sank thigh deep in it. I almost lost my wellington boot!
I thought of another one: I placed the first outgoing call from Pac Bell’s first 5ESS telephone switch in San Jose, and I was there the day the switch processed 1,000,000 calls for the first time.
A few come to mind:
Once met the Queen of Thailand.
Had Muhammed Ali personally hand me an Islamic text when I walk past him on a quiet Manhattan street years ago.
Got drunk in a Pinehurst, NC bar with Gary U.S. Bonds.
Have been in an airplane at over 50,000 ft altitude.
Got a speeding ticket while driving on the Autobahn. (At least this seemed esoteric until it happened to me)
Ate lunch with hall of fame track athlete Dwight Stones in Pasadena, CA.
Rode the US Capital Subway with Senators Paul Simon and Ted Kennedy
I’ve solo driven every mile in both directions of US Interstates 4, 8, 10, 20, 30, 40, 64, 77, 85, and 93
I’ve not touched a moon rock - which begins to seem positively prosaic after the last three pages - but I have touched a spacecraft that has been to the moon and back. The Apollo 8 capsule is (or was) in the Smithsonian, and I made sure no guard was looking and slipped under the rope to touch the surface. I guess any actual mooniness had been washed off in the splashdown, but still it gave me a thrill.
On what grounds?
I’ve been alone inside the King’s Chamber inside the Great Pyramid of Giza
I held a gold bar worth around $500,000
I walked by myself for 105 km through the Rocky Mountain wilderness
Also touched a sliver of moon rock, at the Smithsonian.
Also…
•The cockpit door of the (restored) Boeing 2707 mockup. (Don’t knock how much of it was rebuilt, of course. I did touch the fuselage skin, too, though)
•An Elephant’s forehead/nose skin. (Amazingly tough, and not at all plyable, like human or any other animal’s skin that I’ve touched. Little hairs, too, IIRC)
•Wire from one of the Space Shuttles (don’t know if it was flown, or not). I made it into part of an earring.
•I’ve shopped at The Bone Room, of Mythbusters fame. Cozy little place. Bought some fossil casts and insect candy from a cute Goth clerk. Overheard one of a couple of young ladies just walking down the sidewalk outside saying “Ohh…you ever been into this place?” to her friend.
•The occasional jar of formaldahyde, containing cat or dog body parts. From pets that we still owned, and were still alive at the time (the eyeball, entire tail, and bladder stones the size of chess pieces were the ones that really stand out in my mind. Thankfully, not all from the same animal).
•Part of the “Deep 13” set, from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
•The spalling marks left by grenades in the floor of the Alcatraz cellhouse.
•A tentacle…that I found in my french fries.
•The handrail from an aircraft carrier…escalator.
Those are things I’ve touched. After that…
•Walked inside the Mobile Quarantine Facilities trailer used by the Apollo 14 crew. Originally built by Airstream, as a matter of fact. A bit snug, for one person. I think I would have chewed someone’s arm off if I was stuck in there with several other people, but after time in an Apollo capsule, it had to be amazingly spacious (and with nicer toilet facilities).
I drove a truck across the DMZ at Panmunjom in October, 2000.
I had lunch on Devil’s island (actually ile Royale) before observing the launch of two satellites on an Ariane V rocket in Korou, French Guiana.
Sorry, I would not have known him. The Old Guard guarded the gravesite during the day, when it was open to the public. We MPs took over at night.
*Can you show me on the moon rock where the man touched you? *
But seriously,
I and 3 friends had dinner with, and it was the treated of, Wilt Chamberlain.
I played the Hollywood Palace, and yes, I did say “It’s great to be here at the palace.”
My nightclub (I was the chef) hired the real-live Otis Day and the Knights for our toga party. They rocked.
Handled some medieval Irish textiles and tried on some of the clothes (carefully) in a back office of the National Museum of Ireland with the curator, Mairead Dunlevy.
In the early 90’s, I found a fossilized trilobite on the shores of Lake Ontario. Not a fossil with the impression of a trilobite, mind you, but an actual fossilized creature. Extremely well-preserved. I have since lost it. 
I once climbed Mt. Vesuvius wearing dress shoes.
I own one of the only hardback copies of “To Reign In Hell” by Stephen Brust.
I have, on several occasions, partied with the members of The Ataris (except Kris Rowe – he doesn’t hang out with the rest of the band).
I have been to:
The bottom of Niagara Falls
The top of the Eiffel Tower
Herculeneum (think Pompeii, but not as popular)
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
The Louvre
Vatican City
The Alamo
Independence Hall
The Smithsonian
The Mutter Museum
The DMZ and the Korean Re-unification Tower
Woodstock '99
I also got mugged at gunpoint in Amsterdam (where guns are illegal)
And finally… I once played a Grand Master in a game of chess. I had been walking around a Barne’s and Noble in Dayton, Ohio, and notice two gentlemen playing a game of chess. I stopped to watch, and when the game ended, one of them offered to play me. The game lasted about two hours (and of course, I lost), and that’s when he revealed that he was a Grand Master.
Finally! A sane reason to use my sig line!
I hate to keep on posting, I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but I keep remembering more stuff.
I have worked at the Rand Corporation.
I love being able to say that.
I stood on the top of an unfinished skyscraper (24 stories IIRC), on sheet metal that was riveted down, with nothing but wire around the perimeter, at night, in a misty rain.
I’m very impressed at the awesomeness of all of your experiences.
Me? I’ve got almost nothing. I saw Jack Nicholson at a school function, smiled and mouthed “Hi.” He smiled and nodded and didn’t tell me I couldn’t handle the truth.
I shook hands with Charles Nelson Reilly.
If you’re a lunatic, this might impress you: I got to lean into the cockpit. In Area 51.
That reminds me - I stood inside the doorway of the Vehicle Assembly Building at the Kennedy Space Center. In 1973.
Me too. (Also two other members of my family. My great-grandmother was exposed when her first husband died from it. It turned into full-blown TB 60 years later and we were exposed.) Did you just have a positive PPD and have to take this stuff: Isoniazid - Wikipedia for 6 or 9 months, or full blown TB? (This reminds me I need to get a chest x-ray…)
Lessee…esoteric… This is more odd than esoteric:
I have helped skin a squirrel and then tasted it when it was cooked (both disgusting).
I need a more interesting life.
Wait… What is your sig line?
The cockpit…of what?
(picture theramin noises here)
I also own a fair number of old books. I think my oldest is a 1514 copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, but it’s in poor condition.