I will open with the fact that I have been hit in the skull with an axe.
Hurt like he’ll but I toughed out my hunting trip.
Married my wife, sired my kids.
In 2005, I received a call from a federal agent. The conversation started politely, with inquiries about my education and technical background. Then she asked about research proposals I’d written for a company I’d worked for years earlier. She considered these proposals to be evidence of heinous criminal wrongdoing, on a par with Al Capone’s tax records. At the end of the call, she made it clear that she intended to put me away.
Three years later, a second agent asked me to visit his office. He handed me a box of folders, each containing a proposal. To my relief, they weren’t mine. They’d been written by a co-worker, and to the best of my knowledge, there was anything wrong with them. He admitted that he hadn’t read them, but he still wanted me to explain why I was a criminal. After a surreal half-hour, I left without any clue of what was going on.
I sent a request to the Office of the DoD Inspector General asking for information about the agents’ investigation. They had no idea what I was talking about.
Where to start, where to start
I had my Dad saved by a nurse who had been an old girlfriend; when we broke up I have no doubt (and neither does she) that she wanted me dead - now her and my wife are friends.
I got talked into testing a AA/Gasser on a public street by some friends who had set me up for a local cop. No ticket but I almost soiled my pants when the chute collapsed over the twin sonics on his car.
I went on vacation to a small town in upstate New York (from Pittsburgh) and found out my doctor and mailman were both on vacation there at the same time.
I met one of the other Dopers and found out she did a couple gigs with my littlest nephew and beloved God-son.
Give me the space and I probably have a hundred more.
Nobody else ever on the planet, or just on this board? Other than marrying the two women I’ve married and siring my children and other family-related stuff, I couldn’t venture a guess.
By the way, my great-great grandmother was hit in the head with the head from an ax. It killed her.
I stopped at the entrance to my apartment complex one day two years ago to pull out, and a great egret landed in front of my car, walked around it to my right, and grabbed a lizard from the stop sign.
I was also bitten or taloned from behind by an owl. Six stitches.
I think that means you have to found an Aztec city there.
Once in the nineties I withdrew a five-dollar bill from an ATM, and it came out with a Cheerio-sized drop of fresh blood beaded on top of the bill.
I’ve had my tonsils out three times.
I once drove a Dodge Omni fast enough that the speedometer Pointed to the “P” in MPH*.
*That was at the very bottom of the dial.
I was once part of a group which was “Banned for Life” from a certain golf-course resort.
Its a boring story though…
It all started innocently enough as a routine HS weekend trip. But… Then…
*Music was played loudly through boom-boxes.
*Alcohol was excessively consumed.
*Five Words: Tony Hawk Luggage Cart Tricks
*There were the smiley stickers put over the elevator buttons.
*Two fish were stolen from lobby fish tank. One was filed in one of the filing cabinets (under “D” for “dead”. The other was grilled in the courtesy waffle maker. Fish-waffles never did catch on.)
*Somehow iced tea mix ended up in a pool.
*Evidently, the courtesy newsletter bins that said “Take One” were filled with condoms. (Personally I thought that seemed friendly, helpful, and a service to the community)
*Some guests were pennied in.
*Someone built/shot polish-cannons down some guest hallways at 3AM.
*Golf carts evidently were used to run down golf tee flags on the putting greens.
*Buckets of golf balls evidently were dumped off the back of the cart when people chased it.
*Some people Only threw up on carpeted areas.
*Krazy-glue. Locks. Bad combo…
*Screws and nuts kept disappearing out of… well… everything…
*Finally, somehow time was found to promote the platform agenda of “Stamp Out Virginity In Our Lifetime”.
(the signs and flyers, run off on the hotel copier, seemed to be just about Everywhere…)
“You people are Mentally* Ill!* You will Never… EVER… stay here or play golf here… Ever AGAIN!”
“Well… how’s That supposed to help our handicap…?”
“SHUT-UP!!!”
Walking down the street early in the morning with my mother and my sister, a large man was shambling down the street toward us. He was a complete stranger to all of us. As he passed me, without breaking stride, he punched me in the mouth, splitting my lip.
I was hit head on, front wheel right between my legs, by a man riding a 10 speed bike. His helmet smashed my face, breaking my jaw, cheekbone, and the orbit of my left eye. I was given a ticket by the police for standing too close to the road. 
I encountered a frill necked lizard while on a camping trip in Queensland, Australia. I literally shit my pants. It was pretty minor, but it happened.
My brother was hit in the skull with an axe. Knocked him out cold and he needed stitches but otherwise he was unaffected. Though ultimately that incident saw him imprisoned.
Annnnnyway. Don’t think I have ever done anything unique, or even mostly unique. I had to half-drive a car (despite my not having any lessons) when my friend (and only licensed driver who came along on the trip) broke her finger and we had to travel 200km to get home. I operated the gears and occasionally helped steer.
So that was a lame example and so proves my point. Nothing in my life has been all that unique. A few rare things, maybe, and that’s hard to measure, but that’s all.
Count Blucher: What is “pennied in?”
I’ve been swimming about 1,000 miles off the coast of Florida. There was a group of us, so I’m not the only one, but I’ll bet we’re the only ones who’ve gone swimming in that exact spot.
In the depths of a cloud forest on the border of Uganda and the Congo I was punched in the stomach (and winded) by an adolescent Mountain Gorilla, one of ~500 remaining in the wild.
Visitors aren’t allowed within 3 metres of the gorillas. But the gorillas don’t care for rules.
While going ~70 mph on the freeway, I watched as my left rear wheel came off, rolled past me and bounced high across 2 lanes of oncoming traffic coming to rest in a cloud of dust against the far freeway fence. No one was hurt in the incident.
Please clarify the underlined part.