Strange Encounters

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Today I walked into the restroom and witnessed the finale of a coworker’s j/o session. He was so caught up with the sensation that I don’t think he heard me when I entered the restroom. It wasn’t until I cleared my throat and walked around him that he realized he wasn’t alone. He immediately blushed and said, “oh, shit.” I just laughed and walked into a stall to piss so he could compose himself.

Seems to me he could have picked a more private place to handle his business than at wall at a urinal with no dividers. Maybe the thrill of getting caught gets him off, who knows.

Anyway, what interesting or bizarre encounters have you encountered?

2

I once saw a woman fumbling around with her kid in a parking lot. It looked like she was changing his diaper, and she kinda squated on the car door sill and I saw a trickle of piss running down the pavement. It quickly became clear that it wasn’t the little kid doing the whizzing due to the volume and pressure. I looked a little closer and sure enough, she had her pants down around her calves and was letting fly, right there in the parking lot. She was using the kid as a decoy I think. I was kinda disgusted at first, but then thought it was kinda cool in a strange sort of way. :confused: :eek:

3

When I was five or so, I saw a guy squatting under the bleechers of a high school football game. I remember thinking at the time that it was dirty under there and that guy proved my point: he wasn’t just squatting, he was shitting.

:eek:
:eek:
:eek:

4

I got phoned up by a stranger once who told me he was wanking. <click>

Other than that I’ve got nothing.

5

George Wanking? Of the Boston Wankings? How is ol’ George?

6

This one happened to me as a Halloween trick-or-treater. I grew up in deep in the Washington D.C. suburbia, so Halloween was a time of rich pickings. I was near the end of the evenings patrol and this incident convinced me it was time to go home. I was around 12 or 13 years old and this also convinced me that perhaps I was getting too old for “Little Kids’ Stuff” like trick or treating.

So I go up to the door. The light was on inside and on the porch, so all signs point to a regular welcome.

I ring the bell and for a minute nothing happens. I’m turning to leave when the door creaks open about a quarter of the way. As I stand there waiting to give a sulky, early-teen “Trick or Treat,” around the door comes a middle-aged man crawling on all fours with his head hung low emitting a low, dog-like growl. I’m speechless. He continues to approach keeping his gaze on the carpet. After an eternal 5 seconds he slowly looks up and sees me. It is VERY clear that he was expecting a specific person and I’m not it.

He doesn’t exactly shoot to his feet but tries, clearing his throat and saying, “Isn’t it a little late to still be out?”

Me: “Trick or Treat?”

So he gives me a piece of candy and we both hurridly and gratefully end the moment.

To this day I have no clue who he was expecting. Perhaps a young child that he was going to play with. But he obviously thought it was too late for kids to be out. That leaves the door open to speculation about more exotic visitors.

7

One day while I was working the drive-thru window at the local burger place (rhymes with “We used to suck but now we use 100% Angus beef in our thickburgers so we don’t suck anymore!”) a college age guy came through the line in a convertible with his Wee Willy Winky flopped out onto his lap.

I was barely fifteen. I’d never even seen a picture of one before. I had to do a double-take to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing, and the whole time he’s got this weird little smile on his face, so I know it wasn’t accidental.

The story would be funnier if I’d dumped his soda in his lap, but I was too baffled to think clearly.

8

Once, after a long night out, I went to a 24 hour convenience store where the VERY old clerk was jerking off to one of the porno mags, out in the open. I haven’t been back there since.

9

‘Do you know what this is, little girl?’

‘Yes, well, it’s like a penis, only smaller’

10

I once delivered a pizza to a nursing home, and one of the residents wished me a “Merry Christmas”. I wished her the same, and smiled.

It was either March or April, and it made my day.

11

He seemed to be a bit under the weather, I’m afraid. A bit of the rheumatism, by the sound of his gasping and wheezing.

12

Ever drive too long? I mean way too long, until you get kind of brain dead and zombie-like? I did once. Then I realized I really, really had to pee.

So I stopped at the next available McD’s and rushed into the restroom, in a BIG hurry. Then I looked around in there and something didn’t look right, but I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Just as I was pulling my zipper down a woman came out of a stall and gave me a blank stare. Finally…it registered that I’d gone into the lady’s by mistake. :eek:

I made it back into the guy’s ok, but that was a truly weird feeling and I was so thankful that woman didn’t freak out and scream or something. Anyway…, you asked.

13

I forgot one.

I was in a bathroom at Disneyland, doing my #1 like a normal person, when I hear this really deep, booming voice coming out of one of the stalls.

“OH yeah. Oh yeah. That’s right. Uh-huh. That’s what I like. You got that right. Yeah… yeah… yeeeeeeahhhhhh… Oh yeah. Oh God yeah.”

At Disneyland!

So of course I waited around to see what was going on, washing my hands, flushing the toilet again, going back to fake-pee again, etc. Eventually, the stall door opened and one man came out. A big, huge guy. Talking on his cell phone.

Weird. Phone sex in the Disneyland bathroom, I think.

Then as he’s walking out (without washing his hands, I notice), he goes on with his conversation on the cell phone: “And some of that Kung Pao chicken, too. Oh yeah, that’s what I like. With them peanuts. Oh yeeeeah.”

14

Wait – there was no urinal, but you were pulling down your zipper? What? :confused:

15

Many moons ago, I found myself on the office toilet realizing that there’s a strange, rhythmic sound coming from the stall next to me:

Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap…

Now, being male, I understand the urges and have not been unknown to have given into them myself. But not in the middle of the day in the stank-ass men’s lavatory at the office! The last thing I wanna do is imprint my orgone circuit on the stench of coffee farts and yesterday’s fully-digested roach coach burritos.

So I finish up, flush, wash and leave, snickering back to my desk. Debbie, the program secretary sees my smirk and asks what’s up. “Nothing,” I say, and add another snicker. She presses me, and I confess to the scene, “I’m not sure, but it sounded like someone was jacking off in the men’s room.”

That did it for her. Her eyes lit up and she cackled, and took up a strategic position to case the men’s room door. “Was there anyone else in there besides him?” she asked? I replied negatively and that’s when Dave Loo, one of the programmers, emerged from the men’s room.

Debbie was so thrilled with herself, learning who the perverts are. (Little did she know the perverted thoughts that inhabited my mind whenever I looked at her 5’-2", 90 lb hot little bod.) She was cackling the rest of the day, and I could see her huddled with the other secretaries the rest of the day giggling during breaks.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that later that day I walked by Dave Loo’s cube to see him rhythmically slapping the top of his skull with alternating hands… yes, a weird habit, but not perverted. Probably some martial arts thing, since Dave was a total Judo/Karate geek.

16

QUOTE: “And some of that Kung Pao chicken, too. Oh yeah, that’s what I like. With them peanuts. Oh yeeeeah.” UNQUOTE
The problem is that an hour later, you’re horney again.

17

A couple of years back I went to this party in West Oakland. They ran out of booze, so three of us walked to this liquor store. One of the guys with me was pretty drunk already and so was walking for the cold air to sober up some. Anyway as we’re walking we see this guy in front of us on the side wask making odd looking moves, but nothing I recognize, but odd looking just the same. As we’re passing him we realize their actually two people and they’re having sex. Now it’s probably 11 o’clock or so and the streets pretty deserted but there are homes all over the place. We pass, they ignore us and continue rutting. None of said a word until we were in the liquor store. That’s when Mike looked up kind of weird like and said “Holu Shit! We’re they f@#king?”

They were gone when we went back, or had found a suitable hiding place anyway.

18

I was headin’ for a vacant stall. Man, I Had To Pee! Damn the details. I guess if that woman hadn’t showed herself, I’d have realized my mistake afterward.

19

My Great Gran went through a phase of thinking it was Christmas everyday. I wonder if she ever ordered pizza…

Weird. This is the second time today that a post has made me think about her.

20

How would you feel if you discovered your was used to do the deed? :eek: