Many moons ago, I found myself on the office toilet realizing that there’s a strange, rhythmic sound coming from the stall next to me:
Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap…
Now, being male, I understand the urges and have not been unknown to have given into them myself. But not in the middle of the day in the stank-ass men’s lavatory at the office! The last thing I wanna do is imprint my orgone circuit on the stench of coffee farts and yesterday’s fully-digested roach coach burritos.
So I finish up, flush, wash and leave, snickering back to my desk. Debbie, the program secretary sees my smirk and asks what’s up. “Nothing,” I say, and add another snicker. She presses me, and I confess to the scene, “I’m not sure, but it sounded like someone was jacking off in the men’s room.”
That did it for her. Her eyes lit up and she cackled, and took up a strategic position to case the men’s room door. “Was there anyone else in there besides him?” she asked? I replied negatively and that’s when Dave Loo, one of the programmers, emerged from the men’s room.
Debbie was so thrilled with herself, learning who the perverts are. (Little did she know the perverted thoughts that inhabited my mind whenever I looked at her 5’-2", 90 lb hot little bod.) She was cackling the rest of the day, and I could see her huddled with the other secretaries the rest of the day giggling during breaks.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that later that day I walked by Dave Loo’s cube to see him rhythmically slapping the top of his skull with alternating hands… yes, a weird habit, but not perverted. Probably some martial arts thing, since Dave was a total Judo/Karate geek.