The threads abought catching people masturbating reminded me of something that happend about ten years ago…<wavey line flashback segue>
It was a bright and sunny morning in May…about 7:00 AM. I woke up, smoked half a joint, which was pretty much a ritual back then, and headed off to work.
I lived right in the middle of town, and the restaurant I worked at was about a mile or so away, with a big graveyard on the way that I used to cut through every morning.
Well, I’m walking along, nice and toasted from the half a joint, enjoying the smells and sounds of a perfect spring morning, you know, the birds were chirping, squirrels were running around, everything was all bright and green…
So I’m walking through the graveyard, and I hear something, almost whispering…“uh uh uh”. I stop and listen. “uh uh uh”, just barely audible. I think to myself, “what the fuck kind of animal is that?”, because, well, I really thought it was an animal. I mean, who would expect to see someone having sex in a graveyard on a bright sunday morning in july? I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was two in the morning. This was a party graveyard. A lotta sex has been had in that cemetary. I’ve had sex in that graveyard more than once back in the day…but not at 7:00 in the morning!!!
ANYWAY…I turn past the little hill with the flagpole on it, and there it is. Some guy laying on his back, feet facing towards me, with this REALLY hot girl, who could have been anywhere from 16-20 something, facing me, riding him like a cowgirl. She was naked from the waist down and her shirt was pulled up over these awesome little A cup titties. (I’m sorry, but in this situation, those are titties, not breasts.).
I stopped in my tracks…partly because they were in my way, but I would have stopped in my tracks regardless, because, hey, how often do you get to see teenage titties flappin’ in the wind?
My first thought was, I’m still sleeping and I’m having a really stupid dream. Then, I thought I lost my mind and was seeing something that wasn’t there.
I looked at the girl, and she looked back at me, right in the eye, without slowing down at all. I still have to laugh, 'cause I know I had that ‘what-the-fuck’ look in my face.
We looked at each other for maybe a second, and I said “whats up?” and then I walked around them and resumed my walk to work. I looked back over my shoulder a few times to make sure that I really saw what I saw, because, I really didn’t quite believe it.
I got to work, and told the guys there what happened, and nobody believed me at first, untill I pointed out that if I had made it up, It would have been two girls and no guy, and of course, everyone saw the logic in that.
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