Unexpectedly seeing people having sex......

The threads abought catching people masturbating reminded me of something that happend about ten years ago…<wavey line flashback segue>

It was a bright and sunny morning in May…about 7:00 AM. I woke up, smoked half a joint, which was pretty much a ritual back then, and headed off to work.

I lived right in the middle of town, and the restaurant I worked at was about a mile or so away, with a big graveyard on the way that I used to cut through every morning.

Well, I’m walking along, nice and toasted from the half a joint, enjoying the smells and sounds of a perfect spring morning, you know, the birds were chirping, squirrels were running around, everything was all bright and green…

So I’m walking through the graveyard, and I hear something, almost whispering…“uh uh uh”. I stop and listen. “uh uh uh”, just barely audible. I think to myself, “what the fuck kind of animal is that?”, because, well, I really thought it was an animal. I mean, who would expect to see someone having sex in a graveyard on a bright sunday morning in july? I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was two in the morning. This was a party graveyard. A lotta sex has been had in that cemetary. I’ve had sex in that graveyard more than once back in the day…but not at 7:00 in the morning!!!

ANYWAY…I turn past the little hill with the flagpole on it, and there it is. Some guy laying on his back, feet facing towards me, with this REALLY hot girl, who could have been anywhere from 16-20 something, facing me, riding him like a cowgirl. She was naked from the waist down and her shirt was pulled up over these awesome little A cup titties. (I’m sorry, but in this situation, those are titties, not breasts.).

I stopped in my tracks…partly because they were in my way, but I would have stopped in my tracks regardless, because, hey, how often do you get to see teenage titties flappin’ in the wind?

My first thought was, I’m still sleeping and I’m having a really stupid dream. Then, I thought I lost my mind and was seeing something that wasn’t there.

I looked at the girl, and she looked back at me, right in the eye, without slowing down at all. I still have to laugh, 'cause I know I had that ‘what-the-fuck’ look in my face.
We looked at each other for maybe a second, and I said “whats up?” and then I walked around them and resumed my walk to work. I looked back over my shoulder a few times to make sure that I really saw what I saw, because, I really didn’t quite believe it.

I got to work, and told the guys there what happened, and nobody believed me at first, untill I pointed out that if I had made it up, It would have been two girls and no guy, and of course, everyone saw the logic in that.
</wavey line flashback segue>

Oh, and the reason I posted this in IMHO…

What would **you ** do if you happened upon people having sex when you least expect it.

Well, I guess I can give a real-life example.

Guns are next to non-existent in Japan, but replica air guns that shoot plastic pellets are extremely common, and there are a lot of clubs that hold mock battles with them in parks and woodland areas. My buddy and I decided it sounded like fun and bought some armaments of our own, along with the requisite safety equipment.

Adequately armed, we searched around for a suitable location for our mayhem. In suburban Tokyo, this was no easy feat; we wanted a place big enough to run around in, and where we could be absolutely sure that we wouldn’t accidentally hit anyone (which pretty much limited us to nighttime) or ding any nearby houses or cars. We finally found a large wooded park that had a good variety of terrain, lots of cover, and sufficient seclusion from houses and roads. We also found a lot of plastic pellets on the ground, so evidently we weren’t the only one’s thinking along these lines (cool, maybe we’d run into some other nutcases to join up and pal around with). Our first one-on-one battle was a roaring success, and we decided to do it again soon.

On our next excursion, we loaded up and and went to the edge of the woods. Our usual practice was for one of us to run to the other side of the woods while the other waited for a minute before going in after him. We’d then stalk each other through the underbrush and open fire on whatever moved. My buddy elected to run, and after giving him what I though was sufficient time, I went in by a different path.

About twenty meters in, I saw some movement over by a park bench, so I crouched down and moved in to take better aim. I quickly realized it wasn’t my friend, but some young man vigorously bouncing up and down on his girlfriend. My thoughts were divided between “whoa, cool” and “crap, we’re gonna have to wait until they’re gone to start shooting again.” Then I heard some rustling from further ahead.

I should mention that while I’m more of a ‘silent stalker’ type, my buddy is more of a ‘banzai charge’ sort. He saw activity in the shadows, assumed that it had to be me, and flew into action, letting loose with a wild battle-yell as he charged out from the bushes.

“**HYYYYAAAAAAAARRRGHHH-**huh?”

Now, imagine you’re a teenager locked in the throes of passion in a dark, secluded spot in the park with your beloved, far away from where anyone can see you. Suddenly, you hear a sound like an attacking wild animal, and you look up to see a large, hairy foreigner standing over you with a machine gun in one hand, a pistol in the other, and a very startled look on his face (no shots had been fired, btw). The young man, to his credit, did not abandon his girlfriend to save his own skin, but this may have been because he was too engaged in frantically trying to pull up his pants. They soon beat a hasty retreat together, after which buddy and I looked at each other, contemplated for a moment what kind of trouble we might be in, and soon fell to the ground laughing ourselves silly before calling it a night and going home.

So in answer to your question, I’d have to say either “enjoy the show” or “charge out of the underbrush brandishing large semiautomatic weapons.”

Been caught several times, (cops;once, parents;once, strangers; twice).

Seen the deed performed by strangers a few times too. Once under a lifeguard stand on the beach. Couple of times strangers/friends in a car. Couple at a party behind the house, in a bedroom, etc.

Mostly, I just watched long enough figure out who it was or what I was actually seeing then casually slip away.

I left the room as quicky as possible and tried to forget. I’m emotionally scared for life.

It was my friend Jen’s experience and not mine.
For god only knows what reason she took the “external” stairs in our building and came across a couple just going at it.
Her response was to rush down the stairs, run into my office, and explain the situation.
We both collapsed laughing, while at the same time thanking the heavens it wasn’t anyone we worked with.

One of my buddies walked in on his friend and his friends’ girlfriend gettin’ freaky. A couple days later, we wrote a song about it. A classic in our small town!

You can’t leave it at that! You’ve got to post the lyrics! please!!!

I just don’t know what to say. The word ‘party’ has been used to modify a great number of things, but I doubt that graveyard has ever been one of them.

I walked in on several couples during my college days, and was in turn walked in upon, once by my father, who to his credit, just turned around and closed the door behind him. As a high-school debate coach, I have observed students getting freaky in the bushes at several major debate tournaments (never my students, thank Og!) The last time I saw a couple in action, they were in the backseat of a car in a parking garage. It was rocking, so I glanced in the window. A guy was doing his female companion quite energetically. I just smiled and kept walking. :slight_smile:

I’ll share the song if you’d like. I can do it tomorrow as the song is not on my work PC.

Thanks. :slight_smile:

My Sophomore year at college I was Technical Executive of the student theatre group. Officially, this meant running production meetings and keeping everyone supplied and on track; unofficially, this meant me and the Tech Director spent many late nights trying to get sets built on time and on budget. Now, the union closed at midnight, but we had a arrangement with the night managers to stay later – they’d just lock us in, and when we were done we had to call campus security to let us out of the building. However, it was really easy to break into the building. (Once of the first things I learned as Tech Exex was all the ways to break into the union in an emergency.)

There were two women’s bathrooms in the union. One was next to the campus bar, and thus indescribably icky. The other was right next to the theatre, and comparatively clean. The only odd thing about the second bathroom was that it had a little antechamber, as women’s bathrooms sometimes do, but there was no changing table or mirror in this one. What was there was a rather large orange plastic rectangular seating thingie. It came up to about shin height, but was otherwise a good six feet square. It looked like a piece of sixties mod furniture, which was odd because the rest of the building was very federalist, with vaulted ceilings and such.

One morning, I would say around three a.m., when we had been building, staining, painting, and generally doing some very heavy work, I put down my circular saw and announced I was going to use the loo. Being rather tired and bleary-eyed, it took several moments when I walked into the women’s bathroom for this scene to sink in: A jock-looking guy on his knees on the floor with his pants down, pounding away at some sorority girl lying on the orange plastic seating thingie. I walked several steps toward them before my brain registered the scene, and she saw me at the exact moment that I froze in my tracks, agape, unsure if I was hallucinating or being pranked. He, seeing her face I guess, also froze peaked over his shoulder, and we all stared at each other for a few endless seconds before I turned right around and went into the boys bathroom. (Where there was a condom dispenser, but no orange mod furniture…of love.)

(To this day I wish I had just coolly continued on into the bathroom and started to tinkle. )

Years later, I was at a large party and got to talking embarrassing moments with a group of people. One fella volunteered that a friend and girlfriend were once walked in on in the union bathroom by this girl who looked like she’d just crawled out of a grave. I confessed to being the walker in the story, and we all had a good laugh. Then the guy calls over his friend – “Hey dude, you’ll never guess who I’m talking to…”

This didn’t happen to occur on a small island off the coast of England, did it? You were investigating a young girl’s disappearance when Christopher Lee stuck you inside a wooden representation of a pagan deity and, um. . . roasted your. . . giblets?

OK.

It was in May. You just smoked a joint. Now it’s a Sunday morning in July. Well, was it a dream or not?

:smiley:

There’s a joke in there about a month of sundays…damned if i can get at it though.

So I was driving home from work one night. My sister had just gotten back from England and was involved with a new guy, who I hadn’t met yet. I was about to go into the living room when I saw SOMEBODY on the couch. From that angle all I could see was longish brown hair, a back with a large bulldog tattoo on it, and some movement that didn’t really need much interpretation. I turned around and got out of there quickly but quietly, went out to the car, and listened to the radio for about a half an hour. Finally I take a deep breath, calm myself, and walk back into the house and greet my sister and her new beau like nothing ever happened.

I’ll admit, it took a long time to get over that well enough to like the guy, but now they’re married and I consider him a brother. Oh, and they don’t know about that, and hopefully never will.

Oh, just remembered another one. I didn’t really see it, but…

Anyway, I was hanging out with a good friend of mine, his wife, and their hyperactive little terrier Moogoo. They’d already eaten dinner, so I went out to BK to grab a bite. I come back and was about to knock on the door when I hear:

“Unf unf unf unf ahhhh… HEY! MOOGOO’S GOT MY PANTIES!

And this one ends pretty much like the other one: I went and waited, came back, and acted like nothing happened. So it goes.

No, this graveyard was party central. The cops cracked down on it in recent years, but back in the 80’s, it was a party spot for all the teenage malcontents in town. There was always people hanging out there with a case of beer on any given night. Then, kids started knocking down tombstones and junkies started leaving their used needles laying around, so it’s not much of a happenin’ place any more.

Haha…no…it wasn’t a dream…just a typo. Me and the wife were figuring out or bills for June while I was typing that, and it slipped through my preview. :smack: