Geez what an agressive society!!
Our city streets are so narrow that nothing can move.
It is part of the master plan.When everything is completely gridlocked everbody is safe.
Come to London and be amazed, especially at the M25, the longest 3 and 4 lane parking lot in Europe.
I originally read the OP and thought, “Wow, I’m glad I haven’t seen anybody stupid enough to try that!”
Well, so much for that idea. Yesterday, I was pulling alongside a truck with a trailer at a stopsign at a relatively busy intersection on a 6 lane road. The guy in the truck kept creeping forward, so I couldn’t tell if I could safely make a right. Pretty soon he just edged out into traffic! I’m thinking, “What the fuck is this fart-knocking rat-bastard up to?!” He makes a quick zip out and, thanks to his trailer, manages to block ALL THREE LANES of traffic going one way while he waits to turn left! I couldn’t beleive it! I just stared at the sheer stupidity of this act. Of course, then I realized that since he blocked the traffic, I could turn. 
I seized the opportunity to go and left him with a shouted “Dumbass!”
Some people are just crazy!
Some rich soccer mom biznatch tried this the other day as I was going to work. As I was coming up the road, she waited until the last possible second, smoked across the road, then screeched to a dead stop right in front of me. I laid on the horn to get her attention, then gunned it and zoomed behind her, purposely missing her very expensive car by mere inches. Should have seen the look on the whore’s face. Perhaps the pure terror will teach her a lesson.
–Tim
And, it can get expensive, even if there is no paint scratched.
I was going to a lumber mill in S. Georgia to pick up a load for Chicago. The speed limit was 55 and I had the cruise set at about 60. It was a 4 lane road, wide median, straight, dry and with good visibility. Next to no traffic. A car came out - darted out - from the left and stopped in the median. He jumped out so quickly, I kicked it out of cruise and slowed a little. It looked like he was going to stay there so I kicked the cruise back in, but sudenly, when it was too late, he changed his alledged mind and jumped out, tires squealing. In order to keep from tattooing ‘Peterbilt’ all over his brain-damaged ass, I locked it down.
Big trucks have air brakes. That means when you mash the peddle, you have a little lag time while the pressure builds up in the cylinders. Worse yet, an empty truck is a hell of a lot harder to stop than a loaded one. I aimed the rig toward the median. Meantime, shithead halfway lost it and slid over on to the right shoulder, which probably saved him because my trailer was jack-knifing and he was just out of range (Damnit!).
I didn’t have to take the median. I got the truck straighteded out, parked it, and went back to have a polite word with the gentleman - read: pound his fucking gourd through the …never mind. He saw me coming and took off THE OTHER WAY, I ask you to believe, on the wrong side of the road. Aw shit! I’d been hoping he was stuck.
Checking my truck, I found I’d seriously flatspotted all eight tires on the wagon. Cost almost $2000 to replace them.
I am left with the consolation that the Law of Evolution will catch up the son of a bitch, someday.
Yup. And when a car is getting ready to turn left, on those same medians, it will almost always start turning too soon, so the left-turning cars coming from the opposite direction have thier visibility blocked. The result? Two cars trying to turn left, both of which can’t see oncoming traffic from their respective directions.
I drive 40-50K miles/year for my job, so I see it all. Here’s what I do. If I see someone trapped in the middle of traffic trying to get into my lane, I SLOW DOWN OR STOP AND WAVE THEM IN! Now isn’t that a radical concept! It costs me all of 10 seconds, and traffic flows smoothly again for everyone. Some people are assholes. Let them be assholes. If they dart out into traffic, let them go by. I’m happier with someone like that in front of me where I can watch them. Sooner or later the law of averages will catch up to their ignorant ass. I don’t do the little trick described in the OP, but there have been times when I have been caught impeding the flow of traffic through no fault of my own. I gotta say, if that happens, and you get 2 inches from my door and lean on the horn, I am going to wait until there is a BIG break in traffic before I go. The thought of the stress you’re putting on your heart taking years off your life gives me a warm and fuzzy glow.
The one that gets me is when one lane is being closed on a highway. If everyone just merged when they saw the signs, traffic would flow fairly steadily, but no, dozens of inpatient ASSHOLES race RIGHT UP TO THE VERY END OF THE CLOSING LANE and then try to merge, slowing everyone down to a crawl. I wish they’d all get T-boned.
speakeasy, you’re my kinda person. I have endless patience for someone who pulls something sort of absentminded on the road. But someone who deliberately fucks everyone else, so HE/SHE can get where they are going sooner? No.
People (mostly old people) that must slow to approximately 2 mph to make ALL turns, regardless of type/direction/sharpness etc.
People that must swerve into the other lane to be able to turn into their driveway.
Oncoming people who, when you are waiting at a green light to make a left turn, SLOW DOWN (with no turn signal of course) as soon as they enter the zone where it’s not safe for you to make the turn and you have to wait for their slow ass to putter through.
People who don’t notice a green arrow because the light to go straight is still red.
On the other side of the green arrow, the four cars that tailgate the one that got the yellow arrow, making you wait on green.
Anyone who drives an Expedition, Excursion, Navigator, or similar big beyond any need SUV.
Cops that fly by you without sirens or lights on. If you need to catch someone, put the signals on. If not, set an example and follow the law.
People who turn down the wrong way in parking lots. Those spaces are slanted for a reason.
People with those bootleg Calvin peeing on something stickers.
LOWRIDERS–ohhh, to see one of those get run over by an Excursion (the only thing I would allow those for) like Bigfoot running over junked cars. I wish Pennsylvania had tougher laws against roofing-tar black window tinting, next to zero ground clearance, weird colored headlights, tailights (once I saw a car with clear brakelights–that can’t be legal), and stereo systems louder than nuclear testing.
My time is up. You’ve been wonderful. Enjoy Tom Jones!
Amen to that weirddave !! That is my pet peeve too . . . drives me nuts !! So here is what I do, I merge - and then I put the car right in the middle of the two lanes so no one can get around me. Yep it pisses people off, those same people who would drive all the way down the merge until there is no room and then basically threaten an accident just to gain 15 seconds of time. The truth (as dave spoke) is this : if everyone would just merge way back where the sign tells them, none of us would have to stop or be almost sideswipped by these few selfish assholes. AAAARRRRGGG !!!
Please see sig :
There’s an intersection I’m sure KC dopers know and hate. It’s Metcalf south, right at College. Three lanes slowly turn into two. Turd eating mongrels always try to race down the third lane and try to cut ahead. I do my part to stop the bastards.
–Tim
Then there’s Utah. Here, we have turn lanes in the center of the road, but most of the morons in this state don’t seem to realize what they’re for.
Example 1: Moron pulls out of parking lot turning left, and waits in traffic lane until traffic going the other way is clear, and he can pull straight across the turn lane.
Example 2: Moron turns left and screeches across turn lane, cutting off taffic in the lanes he seems to want to ‘merge’ with.
And, since during the summer, I bike to and from work, these peole scare me even more. . . .
In the hills east of Oaktown CA an 8-lane freeway goes through three 2-lane tunnels. They switch directions on the middle tunnel twice a day for the rush hours. Traffic in the other direction (which is still pretty heavy) has to merge from four lanes down to just the right two lanes. For years I got over early and creeped along, raging at the bastards zipping by on my left just so they could get in front of me and slow me down.
Then one day I was in such a hurry to catch a plane that I decided to (just this once) do what the bastards did. A curious thing happened–as I cruised along past a mile of bumper-to-bumper traffic I looked over and thought “Boy, what a bunch of assholes!”
Talk about cognitive dissonance!
I continued to be one of the bastards until I moved away. I preferred it to being an asshole
I don’t know the moral yet.