Most evil driving maneuver EVER!

The BBQ Pit
1

Situation :

You have to turn left from a parking lot onto a permanently busy two-lane road with no turning lane. What do considerate drivers like myself do? We turn right and then, at the first available opportunity, cross the road into a parking lot on the opposite side of the street. Then we turn around and turn right. Yeah, it’s a little bit of work but it’s either that or wait for some kind soul to let you in - and let’s face it - you’re going to be waiting a while.

Well what, you ask, do ASS-LICKING-TURD-EATING-SPAWN-OF-SATAN-SHITWADS do in such a situation? Well, this is just something I’ve been seeing recently and it looks like the phenomenon is exploding in popularity. Asshole waits until there is a break in the traffic moving from his left (i.e. he could safely turn right if he wanted to). Unfortunately, the traffic coming from his right hasn’t stopped. What is a poor soul to do? How’s this sound? He PULLS OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND FUCKING SITS THERE!!! Meanwhile traffic coming from his left is lining up because he’s blocking their path and you can bet your ass that nobody coming from his right is going to slow down and let such an inconsiderate asshole in!

The first time I saw this, my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe somebody could be such a FUCKWAD! Now I’m seeing it more and more. Somebody needs to put a stop to this post haste! These idiots should be tossed in jail.

2

yes, yes they should.

3

In South Florida, you will see people pulling this stunt on multi-lane roads. I see people doing this to exit parking lots when there is a traffic light at an exit two hundred yards away.

4

Yes, I see that around once in a great while myself. Fortunately, I and my fellow civic minded citizens usually take a few steps to discourage such inexcuseable rudeness.

Like, if I’m blocked, I creep in to within 2" of his driver’s door, lay on the horn, give him the one finger salute, and hold the pose until he moves on. I usually fill the idle time by discussing his mother and a donkey. If it’s clear I’ll go around behind him but that doesn’t get the point across as well. The best is if I can get around his nose before he completely locks the lane. Then I’ll lead an endless stream of cars in front of him, thus making sure his shitty little maneuver won’t work. Naturally I always take the time to flip him off as I cross his bow. I once had the pleasure of seeing a guy pull this in front of an unmarked police van, cutting him off rather badly in the process. For once I was glad to see flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror as I drove away chuckling.

The beauty part, of course, is that anywhere the traffic is that heavy there are usually traffic lights. All the brainless turds have to do is take a chill pill until the fucking light up the street turns and then make their move. Or make some alternate route as you suggested. But noooo, apparently that is too much higher mental processing for some people.

Oh well, like the geezer said; it don’t take all kinds. We just got all kinds.

5

Oh yeah…somebody WILL put a stop to it. Unfortunately, they’ll get hurt or killed in the process. Jerks. You have my sympathy.

6

My maternal grandfather, one of the world’s most selfish human beings, used to pull this little stunt. It carries over into other areas of life, too, in case you’re wondering.

I always hated riding in the car with him. In fact, I didn’t much care to be around him.

7

I’m glad I live in a place where, nearly anywhere, when faced with this situation, I can make a right then, at the next light, get in the left turn lane and make a U-turn. Yep–they’re perfectly legal here in NoVa unless posted otherwise.

8

I see this daily. I also often see them just pull out and do not wait for a legitimate break but just pull out and force normal traffic to suddenly brake and swerve around them.

I have to make a left turn into work and a left turn onto my home street both at unmarked intersections on busy roads. I always signal. I always brake slowly starting a ways away just to give warning. Still, scumbags sometimes try to pass me on the left swerving into oncoming traffic. Sometimes the cars don’t seem to see me stopped there with my signal on and nearly hit me.

The biggest assholes when they see me waiting to make my left pull up and nearly tap my bumper. Traffic is lighter going in the direction i am goin in. If they did not pull up so close they could pull around me safely within a minute or so. By riding my ass they are stuck as long as i am.

9

I feel your pain Neutron. This happens to me daily (at least daily during the work week) here in Chicago (specifically on Irving Park Rd. for those who live here as well).

They know FULL well they’ll be stopping oncoming traffic completely and in Chicago they could shoot down a side street never more than 4 blocks to get to a stoplight intersection.

Assholes all…

10

I agree, they ought to be flogged, or worse, right there in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET, RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!!!
The ignorant, idiotic, moronic, dilrods. Maybe they don’t go down to the light because they are colorblind and can’t tell the difference between green and red. Maybe they would learn if they got tee-boned once, just once, without anybody actually getting hurt. The thing about it is, is that most of these inconsiderate jerks probably drive a brand new car and they just DARE you to hit it.

11

Wait a minute. Uturns are ilegal in some places??? What the fuck!!! How do you freaks turn around??? Why the fuck, and more importantly, WHERE the fuck are Uturns ilegal??? Damn, that is just messed up!!

To the OP. I hate those bastards. I usually get on my PA and tell them about their asses while they are blocking me!! I love that thing!!

12

Carry fist sized lumps of lead in your car.

Learn to throw accurately left handed.

13

My ex used to pull this stunt all the time, and as Lynn said, it does carry over into other aspects of the person’s life (I did mention she’s my ex, didn’t I?)

I’m of the opinion that the only cure for this behavior is a large dose of kinetic energy. Just grit your teeth and aim for the driver… grrrr…

14

I forgot to mention something that should bring smiles of joy all around. An individual at work who will remain nameless crunched his '98 BMW earlier this year doing a variation of this maneuver. Karma lives!

The guy is one of those performance drivers who bought a sports car to DRIVE, by god! He spends a lot of time zipping down the fast lane, 3 feet off somebody’s bumper, juggling a double latte and a cell phone. He was constantly spewing about what a perfect driving machine his BMW is, how well balanced, how finely tuned, etc, ad nauseum. He’s a business acquaintance not a friend, by the way. I won’t ride with him anymore, especially now. I picked up some of the story as he bleated to his insurance broker on the phone and the rest from the following three weeks of belly aching.
So Einstein was picking his way down a busy one way 3 lane avenue. It was raining as usual and he was lost as usual. Apparently he spotted the left turn he needed less than half a block up. He was in the right lane, and rather than just go around the fucking block he tried to pull a left across the other 2 lanes of traffic. He tried to gloss it up, claimed the street was clear when he started his maneuver, the two guys who hit him were racing, the cops never believe a word he sez, yadda yadda. Or was it aliens in a flying saucer? Yah, that’s the ticket! Anyway back on Earth, it sounded like he managed to stop one lane of traffic and then got smeared by a guy in the left lane who didn’t see him pushing through. The entire left fender and suspension of his perfect driving machine got cratered. He got smacked on the right side during the rebound as well and the car was totalled. As luck would have it he didn’t get smacked in the driver’s door.

The bonus is, he wasn’t carrying full coverage. He paid cash by trading up and cleaning out his savings, and then tried to save a few bux on insurance due to his crappy driving record. Even though he’s an asshole, I wouldn’t be laughing if he’d gotten hurt. But the fact that the minor bump on his knee seems to have healed up nicely means I’m free to gloat. He couldn’t quite swing another BMW just yet so now he’s driving a Saturn. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!

Has he learned a goddam thing? Fuck no. I tried once to explain to him that at 60 MPH, his usual 20 feet following distance leaves him around 1/4 second to react if something happens. Apparently it’s perfectly safe, you just have to know how to drive. That’s where I changed the subject, so we didn’t discuss advanced subjects like glancing at that shiny thing on the side of his car before changing lanes.

15

Isn’t that carma?

16

Getting out on to one of these streets can be a bitch in an 18 wheeler that has to have both lanes to make the turn in either direction. Fortunatly, there are usually a few people coming by that’ll stop and let the big truck come out. It is always appreciated by the driver.

On the other hand, there are some that will endanger their own lives and those of anyone around them to keep from being behind that truck for the minute or three it taks to get up to speed. I used to load at a place in Philly that was a fucking screamer to get out of. One time a guy stopped for me and the other side was clear. I started out. Got about 1/4 way into the opposit lane when the asshole behind the stopped guy decided to pass. Rellex made me stop, but by the time Idiot-child got to me, there was no room for him to get around. Meanwhile, traffic was arriving on the other side, and as I was turning right, I now had no place to go and nobody wanted to back up. I couldn’t back away because I had the tractor jacked and Shit-for-brains, who now was laying on the horn, was so close that to straighten out would crush him (temptation). I wouldn’t have backed anyway. Very dangerous in that situation. After several minutes of this nonsense, the other side, about 20 cars by now, maybe more, started inching back and at last I got out with the fool in a hurry stuck behind me with no way to get around all the way to the Interstate.

17

This reminds me of an incident I witnessed a few years back. I was on a busy four-lane road, stopped for a light in the right-hand lane behind a big van. An old guy was signalling a left-hand turn out of the parking lot, just in front of the van. He could, of course, headed off to the light just 100 ft. away, but nooooo…

Well, as the light changes, the idiot “enabler” in the van in front of me waves the old guy out into the road. The old guy inches out until he’s blocking our lane, and then he realizes the one important distinction between my story and filthy’s. He can’t see around the van. There’s still a second lane of traffic to get through, and he can’t see if anyone’s coming!

So what does the elderly genius do? Does he regretfully back up? No! He inches forward, about four inches at a time. By now, the people behind me are pulling out into the left lane and passing all of us, so there’s still a steady stream of cars in the left lane. I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this, so I sit tight.

We sit at an impasse for sixty seconds or so, the elderly genius periodically inching forward, the enabler oblivious to the impending disaster, and me with a sinking feeling. Finally the traffic clears in the left lane. The elderly genius hesitates. Should he go? He bucks forward, accel-BRAKE-accel-BRAKE-accel-BRAKE. I sit tight, for reasons that, if not obvoius now, are about to become obvious.

Then I see a car coming up in my rear view mirror, going too fast, evidently trying to make the light. I immediately know exactly what’s about to happen. Sure enough, the elderly genius finally screws up his courage and pushes out from in front of the van just in time to appear directly in front of the racer. The genius jams on his brakes, the racer veers wildy to the left, tries to veer back right, and winds up plowing head-on into the poor schmoe waiting for the left-turn signal across the intersection.

What’s the moral of this story? You figure it out.

18

I LOVE IT! :smiley: That made my day! Thanks speakeasy!

19

Here in Houston we have a lot of divided roads with medians. These medians are much wider than the length of a car, yet no one seems to realize this and instead, when waiting to turn left, they sit halfway in the left lane and block the way for the cars behind them. These folks are scared that someone’s going to come along in the opposite direction and hit the front of their car when there’s usually a good 8-10 feet of room. This burns my ass.

20

Here in Vegas, land of the legal U-turn, my favorite evil driving maneuver is… Nice polite driver wants to get into the left lane. Politely signals intent, then starts to change lanes. Evil driver a block behind FLOORS THE ACCELERATOR, making it impossible for the polite driver to change lanes without being side-swiped. Polite driver then swerves back into the right lane and gets honked at by a driver coming up behind who is in no danger of rear-ending the polite driver. My mother is constantly having horns laid on at her because she did something like slow down to make a turn, mostly by drivers who are speeding and are angry with her because her driving cautiously gets in the way of their driving recklessly.

Also, here in Vegas, most lights don’t stay green long enough to allow anybody but a marathon runner to get across the street before the light changes. More than once, I have stepped into the street with a walk light showing for me, had it start flashing don’t walk just after I stepped off the curb, and had to run for it because the light turned red when I was halfway across the street. Traffic that is stopped for the red light will roll when the light turns green, even if there is a pedestrian right in front of them. A little girl on a bike got killed out here last hear because the light changed before she could get across the street and a driver couldn’t wait three seconds for her to get out of the way…

This town is full of aggressive drivers.

Also, does anybody out there have any statistics on how many accidents are caused by elderly drivers who aren’t actually involved in the accidents? Mostly people trying to avoid a wreck with the elderly driver who is obviously oblivious to the fact that there are other cars on the road getting into an accident with a third party who was unaware of the elderly driver. I’ve seen so many near misses in these cases, I just wonder.