From the Washington DC City Paper (paraphrased):
“SWM, 35, 5’ 5”, 290 lbs., lives with mother, enjoys Star Trek and Dungeons and Dragons, seeks SWF, 18-25, for friendship. No fat chicks."
Gotta be a joke…but why waste the money?
I’ve always hated anything that is “coming down the pipe” or “on the same page” or when someone feels the need to “touch base”.
Don’t know if these qualify as cliche, but whenever I hear someone say “I’m trying to think…” I want to scratch my eyeballs out. Trying to think? TRYING?
Then of course there are those that must include “like” or “yaknow” as every other word in any sentence about any topic.
But the one that gets me the most is when someone constantly ends their sentences with “so…”. So…, so what? What so? Is there more? Are you going to leave me hanging? Are you still pondering how to piece together words into the rest of the sentence?
There are tons more, though I think those last few are more examples of students having slept through english class than bad cliches.
I’m getting really tired of hearing “big time” and “24/7”.
Anything that anyone says to try to comfort you when someone dies.
“It was her time.”
“God has a reason.”
“It’s God’s plan.”
“God needs her.”
To this I say “Hey, fuck you. You are failing miserably in your sorry attempts to make me feel better so just shut up. Save your god loving bullshit for someone who gives a damn and get out of my face.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side”
Ya know it always appears that way, but once you get on the other side - the grass is kinda brown and smells like shit. 
I don’t know if this exactly qualifies as a cliche, but my #1 most annoying thing to hear is when when you are sitting at someone else’s desk at work, someone will invariably say something along the lines of “My, you look different today.”
OK,
I can’t believe that nobody has “Gone there” yet…Oops that one got away!
But to me, some of the most infuriating clichés are those rehearsed responses you get from your mindless co-workers, when you greet them.
You say, “How are you today?”
They respond in typical mindless fashion:
[list=1][li]No answer, just: “How are you?” back.[]“How are you today?” “Oh, fine.”[]“How are you today?” “I’m HEERE!”[]“How are you today?” “Can’t complain.”[]“How are you today?” “Fair to midland.”[]“How are you today?” “Just waitin’ for 5 o’clock.”[]“How are you today?” “Same shit, different day.”…or if they’re real creative: “S-S-D-D.”and my personal favorite: “How are you today?” "Same ol’, same ol’ "[/list=1] We’re dangerously close to Pit material here, so I’ll leave you with just one more.[/li]This one makes my blood boil.
You are discussing TWO things. item-A. compared to thing-B.
The argument winner will no doubt hurl the trump card: “Same difference.” AAAARGGGHHH !
(Are ya readin’ this, HONEY?!!!)
They refuse to understand that you either have to have two ‘differences’ to make that statement, or you are stating that A is not like B in the same way that B is not like A, which is so obvious, it’s just plain IDIOTIC!
Anytime some idiot describes a tragic event as a “wake-up call.”
Bboy, I totally agree with most of those. It gave me a headache just reading them, especially “I’m HEEERE.” Argh.
But how can you complain about “Oh, fine”? When you ask someone “How are you?” what do you expect them to say? “Well, I dribbled a little toothpaste on my shirt this morning while brushing my teeth, and this morning the commute was pretty awful, but on the other hand at least it’s not raining like yesterday, so I guess when you take everything into consideration, not too bad”?
I’m not flaming, just sort of curious about what response to “How are you?” would be acceptable to you.
To get this back on topic, one that I truly can’t stand that my boss uses all the time is, “break the back.” As in, “Once we reach our next milestone, we’ll have broken the back of this project.” Argh! I hate that! What a horrible image!
It doesn’t read like flaming. Good question. Something with a modicum of thought behind it, instead of a Pavlovian response, nothing too personal, just not the cliché*-du-jour*.
That’s perfect. It’s real. I guess “Oh, fine.” should be reserved for people that you know don’t give a rat’s butt…like strangers, car salesmen, your boss…unless you really are fine, but what are the odds?
We now return you to your regularly scheduled OP, already in progress.
Clichés. I like them.
They’re the comfort food of language.
**
Yeah, but isn’t asking, “How are you?” every morning cliché itself?
I usually answer, “Like shit, and you?” Well, only with people I like.
I had this exchange with the maintenance guy in my building yesterday:
Maintenance Guy: “Good morning. How are you doing?”
Gundy: "Oh, pretty good. A bit sleepy though. How about - "
MG: “Yeah, you look tired. But you always look tired. Why do you always look so tired?”
G: “uh…I guess because I usually am tired.”
Uh…thanks for noticing, stud. At least it wasn’t cliché!
I have to agree that the problem lies not with the answer but with the question itself.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, a person who asks “How are you?” is not really interested in the state of your health at all. This phrase has simply become an all-purpose greeting, utterly devoid of any meaning, and uttered only to take up space that might otherwise be occupied by embarrassed silence.
I would be perfectly content if the check-out girl at the supermarket would just give me a cheery “Hi!” and let it go at that, rather than obligating me to respond to her “How are you?” with an equally brain-dead “Fine, thanks.”
I probably offend clients and others who call me at work when I answer their “How are you?” in this way but then fail to follow up with the obligatory “How are YOU?” There’s always this sort of awkward pause before he or she moves on to the purpose of the call. But I refuse to play the game.
And I haven’t looked back through the earlier posts for awhile now, but is it possible we’ve come all the way through this thread without yet mentioning the other end of the check-out girl’s automatic response: “Have a nice day”?
I don’t mean to be mean-spirited, but when I hear someone utter this mindless cliché, I know that I’m dealing with someone who hasn’t had an original thought in decades.