I grew up in NYC and I took the subway on my own all the time as a child (I commuted to high school via subway, but by the time I was 14 I had been riding the subway for years) and NYC was MUCH more dangerous then than it is now.
I’m trying to remember if I rode the subway alone when I was 9. Of course I had been on the subway hundreds of times with my parents by age 9, and I definitely rode the bus on my own at 9.
Among other things, I took the bus home from my horseback riding lessons in the 4th grade – you wanna know dangerous, by the way, its letting a 9 year old and a 16 year old cross 4 lanes of NYC traffic on horseback to get to the park!!!
At any rate, by 11 I was definitely riding the subway on my own, I have a few very clear memories of that.
My daughter is now 8- she will be flying back alone on her 11th one way solo flight since they first began to allow her to fly alone, at five.
I wouldn’t have a problem letting her ride the subway, it would be more of an issue for her to navigate IN and OUT of the subway, or BART, here in the bay area. I get turned around myself, and I have been riding regularly for a decade as an adult.
I would let her do it if she was comfortable doing it.
I won’t let her walk alone to school, but that is based on the safety of our particular neighborhood. I will let her walk the same distance alone in other locations.
I think Airplanes are different, by the way. Airplanes aren’t full of junkies and gang bangers and perverts (well, there’s probably perverst, but they won’t do anythin on a plane full of people). That’s a lot safer environment. Her ability to navigate the airport would be more of a concern, and I’d want to make sure that was scripted out beforehand (and make sure she had a cell phone). A subway, though? That just seems crazy unsafe to me. City buses too. People have been shot on city buses up here in the Twin Cities, and I’ve seen a lot of questionable people on them.
well, it’s possible I have a distorted view of what NYC subways are actually like. I was joking above, but it’s true that all I know about NYC subways is what I’ve seen in the movies, and the movies always make them look like cesspools of degenerates, druggies, rapists and psychopaths, and that you’re taking your life in your hands every time you get on one. Is that not accurate?
My daughter Brooke was fine on the F train at 10 years old.
I wouldn’t let my daughter Dalerie go alone until she was about 12 or so.
My son Charlie took city busses alone at 9 - he didn’t have a reason to take the subway at that age.
My 18 year Jack - I’d take him on the subway now.
Movies about the NYC transit system are not what happens day in - day out.
If you would let your child fly alone, do you disregard the scary airplane movies? Of course you do.
The bus I would be the least likely to allow her, as it is likely, as you say, to contain the worst nutjobs. Bart is much more expensive than the bus, and that filters a lot of crazy…
That said, I would just tell her to sit up front by the driver and pay attention- again, this is about her comfort level. In most of these hypothetical instances, I would be absolutely fine with her making her own way- but she has bought into enough of the ‘stranger danger’ that it would make her uncomfortable.
I likely wouldn’t force her.
I don’t agree with your ‘never, absolutely no’ attitude, however.
No, not at all. NYC is by far the safest large city in America. It has a considerably lower rate of violent crime on a per capita basis than Minneapolis.
New York City:
Mineapolis:
Taking the subway is what absolutely normal people in NYC do to get to work. If anything, NYC subways are cesspools of investment bankers, attorneys, and publicists.
I threw my little jab in there as a joke, but the more I think about it, the more serious my question becomes.
Two weeks ago, you were stating that you’d let your kids ride in a car where the driver was high on marijuana because, as you claimed, the driver would actually drive more safely than someone who hasn’t toked up.
Today you’re stating that you wouldn’t let your kid travel on a subway, even with you to accompany him or her, because that would be unsafe.
Apparently you were being completely serious on both counts. Do you seriously think the mere act of riding on a subway is more dangerous than getting in a car with someone under the influence of drugs?
I started riding the LA bus system home from school when I was 9. And I actually got jumped once. And I had a group of people in a car throw an orange at me once. But otherwise, I was just fine.
Because of the way media portrays things as being So Much Worse Now, I admit I winced a bit at the idea of a kid that age wandering around alone. But I survived it, and clearly, so did this kid.
I’m not a parent, so I can’t really call anyone else out on being too protective or not protective enough, and every kid is different. It seems like you arm them with as much knowledge about being safe as you can, and you try to determine how well your kid is aware of his or her surroundings, and you make a judgment call about how much free reign to give them.
Of course it’s accurate! “The Warriors” was a documentary, you know. Why, just this morning I had to fight off a roving band of ninja hobos. We all carry semi-automatics in our bags and God help you if try to take someone’s seat. It’s like a Tarantino movie down there!
Yes. At least I was when I said it. Maybe my imprssion of NYC subways was inaccurate, though. My perception is like Bernard Goetz kinds of imagery. Gang bangers standing there with screwdrivers. Stuff like that.
