Though I know it was a joke, attributed quotes may not be modified beyond normal editorial conventions. Thanks.
If I start doing that, what’s the over/under on the mob being after me with pitchforks and paving stones? I give it about 1.4 seconds. 
This may sound kinda stupid, but I believe you are going into summer on the other side of the world (as opposed to the bottom of the planet where I inhabit) so how about buying a sun umbrella and getting the kids to paint a design/flowers whatever on it for her? I can look forward to a $5 mother’s day stall gift from my son’s primary school. I applaud you for your interaction and give you kudos for caring about how your kiddos feel.