I once drove by, but did not get a picture of, one of those big signs by the highway for an interstate nudie bar - you know, “Cafe Risque, Open 24 hours, Truckers and Couples Welcome”, etc. Anyway, there was a smaller sign tacked onto the larger sign that said “Hot Food”. In other words, we’re not promising it’s any good. We’re not even promising it’s safe. But it’s hot.
When I was in college, there was a women-only gym chain locally known as “Spa Lady”.
For reasons that were clearly not well thought out, every single one of their locations had a large sign in the shape of a rear view (ending at the upper thighs) of a fit, curvaceous lady looking over her shoulder with “Spa Lady” in cursive letters across her shoulders, with her hair artistically parting around the letters.
In a similar script immediately below the bottom of the lady-shaped sign, there was an additional sign reading “Entrance in rear”.
The McDonald’s “I’d Hit It” ads come to mind.
The minister of a church I used to attend use to encourage people to tithe (give 10% of their income to the church) by thinking of it as giving money to Jesus. Was 10% too much to ask for Jesus?
I always wondered why I had to give money to Jesus through that church, and not through UMCOR*, UNICEF, the Red Cross, the food bank, . . .
A little more emphasis on The Money You put into Our Offering Plate pays for heat, light, health insurance, disaster insurance, phone bills, paper for bullitens, postage, etc. would not have been amiss.
*UMCOR–United Methodist Committee On Relief. Gives money and supplies to people in disaster areas. Most common way of giving money to UMCOR is probably by check written out to local church with UMCOR in the memo line.
Almost on-topic have you ever really looked at the symbol used by the United Methodists? It is a Latin Cross. With a flame coming out of the base. It is a burning cross.
In truth I sort of like it, but still it makes you wonder.
My current provincial motto - which has been the source of much anger and vitriol -
Manitoba: Spirited Energy.
What?
What the hell does that mean anyway?
Beats the old one “Manitoba; Yield to Migrating Buffalo.”
I would think that motto would be better suited to Alberta.
When they had the Olympics, Atlanta had a slogan, “The city too busy to hate.” So I guess if they happen to find a spare minute they will pick up the slack on their hating. “We still hate, it’s just not a priority right now” was rejected as being too wordy
My mental response, every time:
Stay out of my underpants, that’s what.
There is a barbecue joint down here that advertises “The Worst Barbecue in Texas”. Odd, because it’s actually pretty darn good and I eat there now and again. I always wondered though how they would get new customers. I mean I’ve never thought about stopping someplace to see how truly bad their food could be.
My favorite has been the changing Qwest slogan. Originally in their commercials, the tag line was: “Our spirit of service in action.” But the actress paused after “service,” so it sounded like: “Our spirit of service: inaction.” This, of course, was perfect for Qwest (those bastards).
Eventually someone in corporate must have caught on, because then it was changed to “Our spirit of service [long pause] IN [long pause] ACTION.” Even worse.
And now it’s just “Our spirit of service.” Which I think is the worst of all. They have a spirit of service. Of course, that spirit could be “fuck you,” but they’re very spirited about it!
In a town near where I grew up the bowling alley was named OK Lanes. It’s a good name for it, to be honest. It’s not too great, but it’s not very bad, either. But you’d think the owner would actually try to inspire a little more enthusiasm for it than what is implied by just being OK.
Or “Manitoba: somewhere in the middle.”
I have to tell the story first (sorry if it’s a hijack):
While at work (several yrs ago) our department was having a slow day. I worked for a small but growing company, in the basement, with a bunch of country-folk (I was the only city-grown person in the dept). Anyways everyone was talkin about different farm chores they had to do . Well, I didnt know much about farm life except for the time my neighbor boy (who had a crush on me) invited me out to his uncles to visit one day in the summer when I was a teen. Being the curious person I am, and always excited to learn, I chimed in and asked a long thought out question I had about the ways of the country-people. Not gonna tell ya the question yet before explaining this:
My neighbor-boy took me on a tour of the farm and when we got to the hen house he asked me if I wanted to learn to choke a chicken… “EEEEWWWWW! That’s just gross!” I cried out (assuming that this meant grabbing a chicken by the neck to kill for dinner).
So, I asked my co-workers “Do you guys really choke chickens to serve for dinner?”
All of them went silent and dropped their jaws as if I had said the worst thing on the planet. And then they started to laugh and couldnt stop - “What’s so funny?” I asked. the only guy in the department of 6 people took it upon himself to explain to me what “choking the chicken” meant. :eek:
And so now, I present to you: Crazy Cluck
:smack:
This is just wrong, so so wrong!
Maybe he meant it in the sense that you need to have some imagination to use the knowledge.
Battle Mountain, Nevada appears to have two slogans:
Battle Mountain: Halfway to Everywhere
Battle Mountain: Gateway to Nevada’s Outback
The first one made me laugh. Their motto is that they’re in the middle of nowhere? The second one just seems nonsensical to me. Nevada has an outback?
Keep in mind, though - those slogans are a lot better than what the Washington Post called them.
Then there was the apocryphal slogal for a certain San Francisco area transportation medium, back in the '70’s, a la certain airline ads:
“Hi, I’m Bruce the Ferry. Ride me to Sausalito.”
Like I said, totally made up, darn it.
Roddy
Nobody doesn’t like SaraLee
I always thought it was “Nobody does it like SaraLee”. When somebody corrected me I thought "You’re kidding, that’s the dumbest thing I ever heard, a double negative? Why not just say Everybody likes SaraLee?