Hard-to-believe slogans

“So round, so firm, so fully packed.”

That’s what he said.

That’s a great slogan. In fact, I may soon claim it as my own. But what is it intended to describe?

“Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco”

So round…

Go to http://www.live365.com and listen to old Jack Benny shows.

A butcher shop in Joplin, MO (found on billboards in the city):
“We have the meat you can’t beat!”

I’d walk a mile for a Camel.

“New and Improved!”
“Like a Rock.”
“We work hard so you don’t have to.”

how about logos?

sherwin williams:

a paint can dumping its contents over the earth.

nice, huh?

A breakfast cereal (Cheerios[sup]TM[/sup], perhaps) had the slogan…

“Feel your oats!”

Sure, that one sounded great at the marketing meeting…

“Like a Rock.”

—I never understood this one. Why would I want a car like a rock? Don’t they just sit there and not move?

Papa John’s Pizza:
Better ingredients, better pizza
I wouldn’t hit a dog in the ass with a piece of Papa John’s pizza.

This will not be believed, but there is a shop in Pueblo, Colorado that sells sells bolts, nuts, screws, etc. who have advertised for decades as, “Giving you the best screws around”.

On a more “G” rated topic - I’ve always liked, “With a name like Smuckers, it’s got to be good.”

I’ve never really understood it, but I’ve always liked it.

Locally we have an electrical contractor who has a truck with the slogan “Let us remove your shorts” emblazened across the back.

I imagine this one is rather common, but Denver has a window covering (drapes etc.) store that calls itself The Blind Shop (or something similar) and all of their vans have emblazoned on the side, “There is a Blind man driving this car!”

Australia’s biggest phone provider is Telstra, formerly the only phone company in Oz. Infamous for it’s sheer bloody-mindedness when it came customer service and complaints. They have only become worse since competition was introduced, yet they still have the gall to use the slogan:

Making it easier

Heh. How about More Doctors Smoke Camels Than Any Other Cigarette!

The one that’s ALWAYS bugged me…

“Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee!”

Besides the attrocious grammar, the first few times I heard it I thought they said “Nobody does it like Sara Lee!” – which despite the sexual innuendo (maybe that’s just me) would make a helluva better slogan.

A spot for Fox25 news “A new approach every night.” To me, all that says is that they’re a bunch of screw-ups who still can’t find a way to give the news properly.

Jaffa oranges had “The smaller ones are juicier” for years.

Now that’s a slogan!

I also liked Harley Davidson’s short lived “Put some excitement between your legs”.