Hard-to-believe slogans

Actually was an ad for Winston cigs…

Sask pork co. in New Zealand: Pork. The one you love.
Chinese restaurant in Ocala, FL: The Fu king Restaurant (Sign says it all.)


Vidi Vici Veni!

America’s Air Force - No One Comes Close

I dunno why, but I always thought Nuprin’s slogan was creepy. “Little. Yellow. Different.” Something’s not right about it.


Did you ever see the SNL skit where they took the Smucker’s slogan to it’s logical extreme?

“Mangled Baby Ducks! With a name like Mangled Baby Ducks, it must be the best jam you ever tasted!”

“Death Camp! That’s right, Death Camp! Just look for the barbed wire on the label!”

“Ten thousand nuns and orphans!”
“Ten thousand nuns and orphans… what’s so bad about that?”
{John Belushi}
“They were all eaten by RATS!
{/John Belushi}

Simple. The name Smuckers is so bad that they have to make a really good product to make up for it. That is the message they are trying to get across. Hence the humor of the SNL skit.

The Firestone Tire ads. “It’s about trust…”

Your shit is my bread and butter


No, I got that part evilskippy. I just never got the logic involved with saying “our name is yucky so our jams and jellys must be good.” Or why they would think the public would draw that inference.

Well, it was Menkin who said, “No man has ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of the American Public.” So yes, I can see why they would think people would buy the thought process.

With that motto, I always expected them to come out with after dinner mints called “Snot.”

Yeah, Raven I saw that one.–Belushi and Ackroyd on that bit–delightfully disgusting. That was in their first season wasn’t it?

Is that some vague mafia threat, or do they really have a familial love of their customers? I’m not always fond of my own family, I certainly don’t want to be honorary siblings with the ugly bastard that waited on me, or the rude, incompetent hostess that looks like she turns tricks in the kitchen. I’m disowning your familiy and going to the Spaghetti Warehouse.

There is a radiator repair shop in Terre Haute, Indiana (a city whose slogan should be "Terre Haute means “stinky town with a horse rendering plant in the center of it”) that has a great slogan:

"Best place to take a leak"0

It’s not a slogan, per se, but every time I’m taking the Green line down Commonwealth Avenue in Boston, I have to laugh at the huge billboard that says:
“Ellis The Rim Man!”

(if it’s not funny, ask Esprix)

“Brown’s Chicken-It Tastes Better”

To quote a co-worker: “Better than what???”

In Jacksonville, there’s a painting contractor:
“Watergate Painters - We Can Cover Up Anything”

Also, “The Glass Doctor - We Fix Your Panes”

oh, and there’s a Fu King Chinese in Lake City, too.

How about Snapple: “Made from the best stuff on earth!”
And did anyone remember the Boar’s Head “Turkey, not technology” campaign? Implying that everyone else’s turkey breasts are noting more than giant Turkey McNuggets. Sheesh.

It’s not a slogan, but in line with the other Korean restaurants, there is one near my old home called “Il Mee Korean Restaurant.” I never felt the urge to eat there.

I used to work for them. I thought it always looked like the perfect Communist propaganda logo. Red Paint covering the earth. . .

Damn Commie pinko bastards!!

“LSMFT! LSMFT! Lucky Strikes means fine tobacco. So firm, so round, so fully packed.” (advertising on the Lucky Strikes Program)

The above obtained from http://www.old-time.com/bytes/

I had just heard this, so I did know what it was.

There’s a great sign on a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco that says, “Where good friends and girls meet.”

There’s also a Vietnamese restaurant here called “Hung Phat”.

(Of course, it is SF, so the latter might indeed be intentional.)

And the packs still say L.S./M.F.T. on the bottom. I don’t see what’s so bad about it, though, they are fine tobacco. Well, Lucky Strike fans would think so, I guess. I bought a pack once (wanted to try unfiltered cigarettes, even though I rarely smoke) and they weren’t bad. Of course, I really don’t have much basis for comparison.

You’re kidding. I thought it was* … does it like Sara Lee.*

Never saw it in letters. That’s garbage!