Hard-to-believe slogans

[frock75]

*Originally posted by Waverly *
**Is that some vague mafia threat, or do they really have a familial love of their customers? I’m not always fond of my own family, I certainly don’t want to be honorary siblings with the ugly bastard that waited on me, or the rude, incompetent hostess that looks like she turns tricks in the kitchen. I’m disowning your familiy and going to the Spaghetti Warehouse. **

This reminds me of the one where the guy says something like
This is my cousin so and so from Italy. Rumor has it he’s an expert on Italian food…

Well NO SHIT!!! He’s from Italy, I would assume most of his food is Italian. And why the fuck would he be eating at the Olive Garden if he was an expert on Italian food. Have you ever eaten there? Ack!! Lastly, where did this supposed rumor start? You mean someone was sneaking around so and so’s back saying nasty things about his taste in food. What gives?

[Mr.Frink]

*Originally posted by The_Raven *

Howyadoin,

Did you ever see the SNL skit where they took the Smucker’s slogan to it’s logical extreme?

“Mangled Baby Ducks! With a name like Mangled Baby Ducks, it must be the best jam you ever tasted!”

“Death Camp! That’s right, Death Camp! Just look for the barbed wire on the label!”

“Ten thousand nuns and orphans!”
“Ten thousand nuns and orphans… what’s so bad about that?”
{John Belushi}
“They were all eaten by RATS!”
{/John Belushi}
-Rav

yeah, but with a name like Painful Rectal Itch it’s gotta be unbelievably good jam!!!

[Skywatcher]

*Originally posted by Pessor *
**

*Originally posted by Paul The Younger *
**The one that’s ALWAYS bugged me…

“Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee!”

Besides the attrocious grammar, the first few times I heard it I thought they said “Nobody does it like Sara Lee!” – which despite the sexual innuendo (maybe that’s just me) would make a helluva better slogan. **

You’re kidding. I thought it was* … does it like Sara Lee.*

Never saw it in letters. That’s garbage! **

As did I. In fact, I looked up the trademark to be sure.

[Ripple]

In my home town we have a (auto) radiator repair shop with the slogan “the best place in town to take a leak”. I always liked that one!

[Philster]

I was always hoping Hoover would adopt the slogan, “Our Vacuum cleaners really suck”

Maybe Conair could try something similar for hair dryers - “Our Hair Dryers Blow”

SNL did a great ad parody for Depends. The product was called “Oops, I Crapped my Pants”…but I can’t remember the slogan!

Ooh! Frock75 - Olive Garden: “When You’re Here, You’re Family” Hey, Olive Garden…kiss my Italian Ass you half-assed “Italian” restaurant. What a dumbass slogan.

[Booker57]

Or as my Father tought me. Lets screw, my fingers tired.

[Eve]

“I was always hoping Hoover would adopt the slogan, ‘Our Vacuum cleaners really suck’”

—If I am not mistaken (or was this an urban legend?), Electrolux’s slogan used to be “Nothing Sucks Like Electrolux!”

[Superdude]

*Originally posted by Scarlet>Fire *
**In my home town we have a (auto) radiator repair shop with the slogan “the best place in town to take a leak”. I always liked that one! **

There’s one here with that same slogan, in New Albany, Indiana.

[Annie-Xmas]

Capri Sun’s current slogan “Tastes so good kids inhale it” is bad in this day of “inhalents.” Are they implying under-aged illegal drug use?

[mobo85]

*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas *
**Capri Sun’s current slogan “Tastes so good kids inhale it” is bad in this day of “inhalents.” Are they implying under-aged illegal drug use? **

Actually, I am 90% sure their current slogan is “Liquid Cool.” I’m pretty good when it comes to ad-ver-tis-ments.

[PatrickM]

My alma mater dear old Kent State University once used this slogan to attract new students: “A Year at Kent State Can Last a Lifetime.”

Of course, in reality a year at Kent State just seems to last that long.
Then there was an accounting firm that used to advertise in the magazine “Baseball America” with the line “Batting .400 against the IRS!”

Now I don’t know about you, but if I ever have to go against the IRS I want a CPA with a lot higher average than that!

[Ross]

We have a paper called The Scotsman. Its slogan at the moment, which I always feel is a blinding insult to my intelligence, is “You live here.”

I mean, for pity’s sake…

[Venkman]

Despite my best efforts the Beef Council has yet to adopt my proposal:

“Beef. It’s gristle-licious!”

[Knight16]

In Brooklyn;
Di Franscisco Waste Management.
“Double your garbage back if not satisfied”

[RoboDude]

Newport cigarettes: “Alive with pleasure!” (But not for long!;))

[PlanMan]

*Originally posted by PatrickM *
**My alma mater dear old Kent State University once used this slogan to attract new students: “A Year at Kent State Can Last a Lifetime.”

**

In April 1970, that became literal for four students, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Peace. [cue Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young …]

[Larry_Mudd]

VTV (A local television station in Vancouver, B.C.) promoted their news department with the slogan:

If It Matters In Your World, It’s News To Us

for more than a year before someone pointed out the idiomatic flaw that it contained. The best they could come up with for a replacement was

If It Matters In Your World, It’s News For B.C.

[aviddiva]

Not a slogan, but a product:

the Plymouth Reliant

(next off the lot: the Chrysler Dependent?)

---

Sign seen in the window of a local Chinese restaurant:

“Try our Steamed Stuff Buns!”

(Mmmm mm: nothin’ quite like steamed stuff in a bun. Any old stuff will do.)

---

“Brown’s Chicken-It Tastes Better”

When I first read this, I read the middle punctuation as a hyphen, and was trying to figure out what Chicken-It could possibly be and why on earth it would taste better.

---

… and a query:
Where is the grammatical error in “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee?”
Sure it’s clumsy, but if you can say “Cecil doesn’t like Sara Lee,” or “Everybody doesn’t like Sara Lee,” then why can’t you say “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee”? (And I suspect the potential to mishear the slogan–making it “Nobody does it like Sara Lee”–was part of its appeal.)

[dewpickedfrog]

My mother worked for a small oil company in the eighties, and she had a button from some kind of oilfield construction company that read:

“Experience a Nine-Minute Erection”

Hey, you can take that good, you can take that bad.

[Pessor]

… and a query:
Where is the grammatical error in “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee?”
Sure it’s clumsy, but if you can say “Cecil doesn’t like Sara Lee,” or “Everybody doesn’t like Sara Lee,” then why can’t you say “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee”? (And I suspect the potential to mishear the slogan–making it “Nobody does it like Sara Lee”–was part of its appeal.) **
[/QUOTE]

aviddiva…

Nobody doesn’t like you.

Are you okay with this? Or would you prefer…

Everybody likes you.

You chose a good word on “clumsy”, I’ll give you that… but it just kills me when these grammatical CF’s become part of everyday language. And don’t EVEN get me started on the twat clot that came up with the idea of putting the “r” backwards in “toys r us”… bad enough, the “r” was to begin with!