Just me ranting at my physics teacher. Keep goin, lest you should be caught up in it.
Now that that’s said…leave us proceed.
<ahem>
You stupid, arrogant, hold-over hippie piece of SHIT! Why was I forced to take that 40 minute-long complete waste of time you call a class, from a five-foot tall complete waste of space such as yourself? You teach me about electricity and magnatism? Bullshit. The most experience you’ve had with E&M is probably when you are a kid, and you stuck your tounge on that 9-volt battery. You know, to get the taste of all the paint chips out of your mouth.
How can you possibly call what you do teaching? Last time I consulted good ol’ Webster, the definition of teaching didn’t include sitting in the corner having acid flashbacks while we do pointless experiments. God, you’d think that in a high school physics course, we wouldn’t have spent the entire friggin’ term learning how to light a bulb with a battery! God, tanks to your complete vacancy upstairs, we don’t even officially know what electricity IS! You make us call it “juice” or “mojo”! Shit, woman, I’ve learned the equivalent of what you’ve taught us by flipping a light switch!
And what is it that keeps you from realizing that I could smack around a chimpanzee, give it a whole bag of weed, inject it with heroin, give in nothing to eat but vodka and weed for 3 years, then run it over with a car, and it would teach better than you, even if the only thing it had to teach WITH was it’s own feces. I mean, it’s not like there weren’t warning signs. Hell, you’d think that the fact that it took me 15 MINUTES to explain the idea of extra credit before you hammered it into your tiny, misshapen head could have tipped you off. Or maybe that you chose to assign us two term projects at once, one of which was the project for the Motions and Forces class, which we’re not even in! Woman, do us all a favor and crawl back to whatever crack-house you emerged from, lock yourself in the basement, and try to teach the rats about E&M. Maybe they’ll appreciate it. Just stay the hell away from me.
And what is is that keeps you from realizing that you in fact * couldn’t * smack kabout a chimp; it’d rip you limb from limb. Chimps generate a whole lot more force than humans…but I guess you’d need physics to understand that
First off, BREATH.
Second, BREATH again.
Calm?
Didn’t think so.
Just know that there ARE worse teachers, you know, like my old English teacher, the man whose nickname is the Pedophile… You know, always sneaks behind his desk with his hand in his pocket, licking his lips and making obscene gestured at his poor 10th grade students.
Or there’s one of the math teachers who doesn’t know ANYthing about ANYthing. A classmate of mine, Meredith, took over teaching the class. Guess how well THAT went.
We have many many many teachers who fall under WORSE catagories.
Of course, this is coming from my school. We’re strange as is. A flock of ducks flew into our school, attacked the afforementioned Meredith, and flew away.
I’m sure that cheered you up.
My daughter says the physics teacher at her high school uses a hand puppet. She hasn’t had physics, she’s only seen him through the door of his classroom. Does your teacher have a brother who also teaches physics?
Yeah, that’s the problem. We don’t have a textbook. We have a packet of papers (co-written by her, mind you), which is designed so that we “gradually discover things on our own.” <sigh> I guess there’s no escaping it. Today I showed her a graph I made on my computer, and she was greatly, greatly impressed by it. I figure I’ll do one in 3D-Rendering sometime and, with any luck, make her head explode.
As a former physics teacher, I must bite my tongue. I will tell you what I told one of my best students “Physics ain’t hard, dude, you’re just stupid.”
That got me in almost as much as trouble as when I told another kid, “If you weren’t such a loser, you’d have more self esteem.”
