Movie lines that immediately make you think "Rewrite!"

From Conan the Barbarian:
“Let me breathe my last breath into your mouth…” delivered by Sandahl Bergmann during her death scene. It was Arnold’s good fortune to have comparatively few lines in that movie.

In one of the Blade movies, I think the 2nd one, Kris Kristofferson’s character calls a vampire a “fuckin’ nipplehead.” That remains the stupidest insult I’ve ever heard in a movie.

A different inflection or tone (and a better actor) might make it slightly less stupid-sounding, but in my opinion, it’s just not a very good line.

STAR WARS is chock full of these:

“I thought I recognized your stench when I was brought on board.”

“Leave? In our moment of triumph?”
FAHRENHEIT 9-11:

“Fool me once… shame on you… but… you’re not gonna fool me again…”
C’mon, the most powerful man in the world would never actually say something like that.
TITANIC:

“Until now, I never let it in…” (probably not the line so much as Bill Paxton.

And of course:

“Be—cause I am not one of your ffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnns!” and “Chrrrrrriiiiiiiiiisttttttttttttinnnnnnnnnnnaaaaa, bring me the aaaaaaxxxxxxxeeeeeee!” from MOMMIE DEAREST.

There is a movie called THE CRUSADES from 1935 that I swear has this line from Princess Berengaria (Loretta Young): You’ve just got to save Christianity, Richard… you’ve just gotta.

TEN COMMANDMENTS has numerous “pass the remote” scenes of corny dialogue, most of it delivered by Edward G. Robinson.

It’s a hidiously bad movie anyway, but why on Earth is “It’s a free country” in the script for The Patriot?

Speaking of Mel Gibson, “FRREEEEEDOOOMMMM!” although, I guess that was somewhat in line with the rest of the movie being over the top schmaltzy, so it doesn’t really fit.

In LOTR:FOTR, when they’re approaching the doors at the Mines of Moria, Legolas practically does a camera take and delivers a bad sounding modern line, something like “I didn’t see THAT coming.” or “Too much information.”

Not those exactly. Maybe someone can help me out.

I always was a little jarred in Star Wars when Luke says something like “we used to shoot wombats back in beggars canyon that were no bigger than 2 meters.”

Ahh, bulls-eyeing womp-rats in his T-16 Skyhopper.

If I must: “I’ts not impossible, I used to bulls-eye womprats in my T-16 back home, they’re not much bigger than two meters.”

“I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.”

“Evacuate? IN our monent of triumph?”

Normally I wouldn’t be so pedantic, but I just saw it last night.

For me, the worst line in ANH was “Huh? Oh, the uniform.”

Is it when he says, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” in response to Gimli’s line about dwarves creating secret doors so cunning that not even their creators can find them?

“Now, bring me that horizon.”

Damn, Disney, Johnny Depp single-handedly turns this trite piece of fluff into a watchable movie, and you give him that line to go out with. For shame!

Red Dawn:

The father looks around to check that none of the bad guys can hear him. Then, as loudly as possible, “Avenge me! AVENGE ME!”

'Course, that whole movie was hilariously bad.

From The Matrix. Yeah, I know, it’s full of them, but this has got to be the worst:
Trinity. The Trinity? That cracked the IRS dbase? Jesus.

Maybe the IRS keeps all our tax info on dBase; it would certainly explain a lot, especially if it’s dBase IV. But obviously it’s just meant to be cool computer slang, and isn’t.

One of my favorite comedies is Wayne’s World, but it does have one really awkward scene. Benjamin and Russell are at the TV station trying to find out where Wayne and Garth broadcast from, and there’s a conversation that goes something like:

Benjamin: Can you tell us where to find Wayne Campbell?
Davey: That’d be priveleged information.
Russell: We just want to know where they broadcast from
Davey: Are you a friend or a relative?
Benjamin (with Very Significant Intonation): We’re neither
Why is that scene even in there? And what the hell is with Benjamin’s intonation on the last line? It very much seems like a bit of a larger scene which was chopped up and left vaguely incoherent.

Um… are you sure it’s not “the IRS database”?

No, he says dbase. Which just sounds odd and not natural.

Maybe my cheese slipped off the cracker, but I don’t recall Legolas saying anything. Is this on the extended version? :confused:

From Alien: Resurrection. Yeah, I know, we’ve got a goldmine in that one, but I’ve managed to identify THE ABSOLUTE NEXUS of badness in that movie. It’s Jonner’s line:

“Hey, Ripley. I hear you’ve run into these things before.”

Why is that the Nexus of Badness? Simple: NO HE HASN’T. At no point in the movie has he heard anything even remotely resembling information regarding Ripley’s history with the aliens. 'Twas thrown in for the equally bad (but not quite Nexus-worthy) “I died” line.

Just goes to show, screenwriters… if you can’t make your basic plot logically consistent, you can’t even BEGIN to try to add stylized nuances to it.

Eh-heh! “Moment.”

Jurassic Park

“It’s a UNIX system! I know this!”

Yes, it’s on the extended DVD.