These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along. (Substitute droids with whatever noun you’re searching for, for example if you and your SO are searching for lost keys)
As a response to somewhat over-the-top reaction:
“A knife to the throat? Is that how you do things?”
“That’s how we do things where I come from.”
(from Southern Comfort)
“Sit tight, hold down the fort, and keep the home fires burning. If we’re not back by dawn, call the President.” - Jack Burton
There’s two ways to look at this, first the lines you’d like to use but don’t because the opportunity rarely presents itself, and second the lines you’d like to use but don’t because bad things will ensue.
For the first, from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, when discussing their trip to England, one says he doesn’t believe it, and the other replies ‘what, just a conspiracy of cartographers?’ I’d like to throw this into a conversation when someone says they don’t believe something, but I’m rarely fleet enough to make it work.
For the second, when I’m working in the ER and I’m trying to establish a patients baseline neuro status, or I’m trying to establish a childs trust, and I’m down at their level making eye contact and someone standing behind me keeps answering for them, especially on a busy day, I have a burning desire to turn on them with righteous **Samuel L Jackson **indignation and say ‘I don’t remember asking you a god damned thing.’ Sadly, my boss has made it clear that she could not support me in this.
“If any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time!”
[Silence]
“I didn’t think so.”
“Mother puss bucket!”
Actually, I do say that, but only when I’m alone.
And disgusted.
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer actually used this when the Scooby gang was going off to Save the World/Probably Die again. Buffy gave a morale boosting speech, Giles muttered something about how it wasn’t the St. Crispin’s Day speech, but it would have to do, and Spike said “we few, we happy few, we band of buggered.”
I laughed til I cried.
One line I wish I could have used but never got to. I needed a sub for three days, and she backed out after the first day, leaving me completely up the creek. I was ranting at phoukabro, who suggested I go up to her, kiss her on both cheeks, then hold up my fingers pressed together (like I was holding a coin, it must be an Italian thing), and say “You’re dead to me!”
Fair enough then! 
I teach the young men in question. They’re lovely! (Obviously not when they’re doing their gang thing, but they’re really nice boys in school.)
After picking up a hitch hiker, “I saw this in a cartoon once, I think I can do it.”
“I can lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother’s feces, or we can talk.”
That’s nice to know. Have any of them heard of or even seen Attack The Block? Probably not. I argued with someone else a few weeks ago who said that the movie was responsible for the August riots (sniff, nose in air). I had to inform them that the movie came out in England in May, and pretty much died at the box office there, and that it hasn’t been released on DVD yet (next week in the UK) so there’s no way. I’d imagine that 99% of the rioters would not have seen or probably even heard of the movie. And anyway, the movie depicts hoodies/thugs/chavs becoming heroes trying to save their community, not destroy it. “Oh”
I’d imagine some of them will have seen it, especially since one of its leads is an old boy of the school where I teach. The person who said it caused the riots is an idiot, by the way. But you knew that.
“You’re the vulgarian, YOU FUCK!”
-Joe
“If you only knew the power of the Dark Side!”
If you ever do have occasion to use it, try to get it right: “What we got here is… failure to communicate”. Everybody always wants to put that extraneous “a” in there before “failure”. Just changes the whole cadence.
I wish the opportunity to say But she was naked, and articulate would come up more in my life.
No you don’t. Trust me on this.