Movie review question

Factual Questions
1

Looks like a slow night here in GQ’s so I thought I would post this idle curosity question…

I subscribe to dish network and they have several movies for rent on PPV. As I scanned through them looking for a movie to rent ( just in case the message board goes down) I noticed that dish network has each movie rated 1-4 stars.

I almost rented a movie tonight but then I backed out because dish had it rated 1 star. My question is why would dish rate a movie down to one star if they are trying to rent the damn thing?

One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.

Yours truly,
aha

2

Are they actually Dish Network’s ratings, or do they use someone’s (some critic’s) ratings? If they use Joe E. Critic’s ratings for their movie lists and Joe rated Random Movie Title 1 star, then Dish’ll list it with 1 star. What else could they do? They probably have a contract.

What movie?

3

Perhaps those nefarious capitalists secretely believe in keeping the customer happy. If you paid big bucks to rent a movie and were dissapointed by it, wouldn’t you consider switching to a different service? Or at least telling your friends how bad your current service is? Capitalists can very tricky that way.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. (Oscar Wilde)

4

Drop dead gorgeous

One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.

Yours truly,
aha

5

Their ratings are only a useful feature if they mean something. If they give every movie a glowing review, people will soon stop paying attention to their ratings, and perhaps move to a dish service that offers better ones. They made a business decision that being honest was, in this case, good business. And it usually is. Another lesson in how a free market protects consumers.

6

I think sometimes the stars in these ratings - the kind you get in the TV section of a small town newspaper - can be taken pretty literally. They don’t actually tell you how good the movie is, just how many recognizable faces are in it. For instance, a 1 star movie means “there’s one person in this thing you might have heard of”, a 4 star movie means “it may be a terrible movie but it least the producers sprang for some big name celebrities.” Take a look at how your dish network has rated movies you’ve already seen and you might get a better idea of how the stars are awarded.

7

IMHO Drop Dead Georgeous was absolutely freakin’ hilarious.

8

Which Drop Dead Gorgeous? There have been three of them, one made in 1999, one in 1997, and one in 1991. Check the Internet Movie Database.

9

If it’s on PPV it’s probably the most recent one. My cable company (which has been bought out twice in the last six months) uses TV Guide descriptions for its program guide. So TV Guide’s unfavorable listings are there as well as the favorable ones. Probably something similar here. And I agree, the latest DDG was very funny. Whoever gave it one star deserves a sound thrashing.

10

The last couple of post balance the first couple. Yes, a review section that rated everything brilliant would not get read for long. On the other hand the dish people don’t know your preferences.

11

I’ll agree with you picmr. It might be worth it, if one is sufficiently vexed, to try to see WHO the reviewer is. Is it someone who’s opinion you respect, and whose tastes you emulate? Do you dress like that person? Have you found out what personal scent they wear, and begun to regularly douse with said scent? Perhaps finding out their home address and private phone number are also possible.
And, as for the whole " 4 *** equals big names" , I MUST disagree. “The Crying Game” had a HUGE HUGE word-of-mouth going. No major players. Just a well-written and delicately acted script. Besides, we’re talking about a movie rental, not the purchase of a new home. If the rating system sucks, in your opinion, then hike off to one of the 162,000 Internet sites dedicated to film reviews, and check out someone ELSE’s opinion of said film.

If you want to kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel.

12

Regarding some of these ratings, I have a sort of off-topic question: With really shitty movies, in the ad in the newspaper, you still often see a ‘good review’ from some never-heard-of-him critic:

“I loved Van Damme’s Deathkick! It had all the fire and passion of some of the greatest action films in history” - Bob Jones (Bob Jones’ Backyard 7-11 Movie Reviews)

I guess my question is, how do I become one of these losers who gets invited to free movie sneak previews all the time, even if it’s for crappy movies? Do studios have a list of people they invite, and if so, how do I get on them? Many of these people do not appear to even write for a paper or have a real show (maybe a Website at best).

13

Yarster: Look on my website (address in sig). I’ve got a long essay discussing these phony critics and their laudatory quotes.

Regarding the original question: In my experience, these star ratings represent sort of a social average. Obviously any given critic will rate a movie differently based on his or her individual taste, and the general population will likewise have widely varying responses.

Recent example: The Thin Red Line. I thought it was brilliant, as did most critics; but a lot of people I know didn’t care for it, and general audiences responded with mystification. Four-star movie? Yes, for me; no for most people.

The people who put together television guides and movie-channel schedules take this into account. They’ll assign a star rating based not on the opinion of one critic (or a handful averaged together), but on the basis of the general population’s taste. An acknowledged classic like West Side Story or The Maltese Falcon gets four stars, sure, but a high-quality recent movie that divided audiences, such as The Thin Red Line or Eyes Wide Shut, will get a compromise three-star rating, and a difficult “niche” movie will occasionally get knocked down to two (Robert Altman’s The Player).

If you want a short definition, go with this: For any movie released after, say, 1970, the number of stars in your average TV or movie guide represents a cross between (1) critical response and (2) the proportion of ordinary viewers who say they really liked it – weighted toward the latter.

Examples: The Godfather is obviously a four-star movie; it’s an acknowledged modern classic, and what’s more, the majority of regular people who watch it really enjoy it. Contrast with American Ninja – it’s a one-star movie, because most people will hate it, but there’s a niche audience that gets off on that sort of thing.

Personally, I think stars are stupid. But that’s another essay – which, coincidentally, is also on my site. :slight_smile:

Movie Geek Central – Reviews, news, analysis, and more! http://moviegeek.homestead.com

14

See Drop Dead Gorgeous!!(sorry no underline). It stars Denise Richards of the most recent Bond movie. You will be aghast at her “talent” in the beauty pagent. This movie will take you by surprise more than once.

I was just, uh, nowhere near your neighborhood - Campbell Scott

15

To hijack the thread for a moment, what does it mean when a reviewer says someone “chews up the scenery”?

Only you can prevent solipsism.

16

To chew up the scenery is to overact.

17

I just have to say that I thought “The Thin Red Line” was the most boring, self-indulgent, poorly acted, cliched piece of crap I have ever seen. The only reason I sat through the whole thing was to prove that I could stand that much pain.

18

Pennys, not to turn this into a topic for the Pit, or Great Debates, but I have to agree with you and say that the movie would have been more aptly named if it was called ‘The Thin Red Plot’. Other than good cinematography, I have yet to have anyone adequately explain the story. It was just a bunch of random events in a war setting. A 3 hour music video…oh except without the music

19

[Thin Red Line Mode - which involves a vaguely twangy, wisftully philosophical accent and a ten-minute montage of colorful animals and lush forests]
What is war? Is war something which man inflicts upon himself? Or is war something which man inflicts upon nature? (continue ad nauseum until brain begins to bleed)
[/TRL Mode]

20

The best one I recall was:

"The Star Wars of the Eighties!"

for ‘Masters of the Universe’ (starring Frank Langella as Skelator and Dolph Lundgren as He-Man)