Ta-ta for now!
Several years ago I took my mother to see Jerry McGuire. Twenty minutes into the movie she whispered to me, “Do you want to leave? This isn’t very good.” I did what any loyal son would do. “Sure, let’s go,” I said. To be sure, I found the opening scenes flat and disappointing, but I would have stuck it out. The only movie I ever walked out on my own initiative was Caligula.
But as I reflect on that experience with my sainted mother, it occurs to me that she may have picked up on my disappointment and suggested leaving for my sake not her own. My mother was generally a patient woman who put other people’s needs before her own. The more I think about it, the more I suspect that may have been the case.
Hijack sidebar: I’m in accord with the complaint about undefined acronyms and abbreviations. This has been a real pet peeve of mine. I’m quick to google initials I don’t know, but I think it’s discourteous not to provide the full spelling in the first instance.
I dunno; we should give explanatioins for obscure abbreviations, sure, but MST3K isn’t all that obscure by these board standards (sorry, Elbows - can’t get behind you on that one). I think the onus is on both parties - if you’re using an abbreviation, try to explain ones that you think may be obscure, and if you see obscure abbreviations, ask for an explanation if you don’t feel like googling.
My husband’s movie-watching behaviour that bugs me is his tendency to talk to me while the show or movie we’re watching (usually on tape or dvd) is playing. Baby, it’s a dvd - you can stop it while you explain the rules of NBA basketball to me. The one I do that probably bugs him is I like to make jokes while the movie’s on - he could probably live without that. And I ask him what people said a lot - I just can’t hear them. I had my hearing checked, it’s fine, but I just can’t make out what people are saying.
Ah! You got to it before me!
Drat!
For the love of fuck, tell me that was sarcasm.
Doesn’t that kind of run counter to the whole point of using abbreviations in the first place?
No! It’s clever and perky, like Rachel Ray: “E-V-O-O; Extra Virgin Olive Oil!”
You just described my mom. She doesn’t want to wait and see what happens – she wants to know right now. If you value your sanity, don’t ever watch Lost with my mom.
My sister-in-law: Whenever we’re watching some kind of mystery or thriller - half-way through the film, she’ll shout out “Ooh! I know who it is!” or “I know what’s going to happen.” She doesn’t spoil it, but she’s also not that bright, so I’m dubious of her claims, post hoc, that she was always right in her guesses. I’m always tempted to make her write it down and put it in a sealed envelope so that we can verify later.
My wife: For a time, when I was on my internship, my wife and I were living with my mom. Now, she would never do this at any other time, but if we were watching a movie with my mom and some sort of profanity or similarly embarrassing thing were said, my wife had some kind of block that prevented her from hearing it. However, she routinely insisted on asking, “What did he just say?” "Gee, honey, he just said, ‘Why don’t you lick my sweaty meat sack, you rotten old cooch!’ "
My brother: Typically, not a bad movie watcher. Quiet, appropriate, great laugh at funny parts, that sort of thing. However, we were watching Se7en (which I’d seen before, so it didn’t ruin the movie for me, but did ruin the experience), and we got to the point where Paltrow is discussing her pregnancy with Freeman. He happens to say that she has a choice, and my brother starts flipping out: “Choice? Choice! There’s no choice! What choice could there be?” Jesus, yes, let’s have this debate right now. Spolier for those who may not have seen it: Guess what, dude. The choice kind of gets made for her when her head comes off at the end. Not that that will bother you nearly as much as a fictional character considering abortion.
Die.
Funny, my mom said the same thing - in the first 20 or so minutes she couldn’t tell the difference between the two actors. While I could tell them apart, I was somewhat confused and disoriented for the first 1/3 of the movie. It was just the way it was filmed.
Was at the theater a couple weekends ago. A guy in the row in front of me cleared this throat during a movie (not a huge deal), and then spit on the floor. Was completely disgusted.
Slight hijack, but at the office I used to work at, there was a gigantic smoking area, on concrete (with grass and trees behind the benches). Some asshole sat there on a bench and spit loogies for a half hour, so that anyone who chose to sit on the bench after him would HAVE to stand in the loogies.
I narc’d him out to the security folks.
My partner and I both have annoying movie/TV watching habits that, I hope, even out.
I like to think I’m a pretty smart guy, but sometimes plot points just escape me. If I get too lost, I try to leave the room in frustration, but my partner will pause the DVD and patiently explain it to me.
Also, I cannot let medical inaccuracies slide. As a nursing student I’m able to pick up on more and more absurdities and impossibilities, and sometimes they just ruin a movie for me. You should have heard me hollering at the screen during The Island.
My partner, on the other hand, will be playing World of Warcraft while a movie or TV show is on in the very same room, and ask me every 5 minutes what just happened. Look, either watch it or don’t. Don’t expect me to give a running narrative.
This is why I generally go to movies alone (and preferably, the matinee, which cuts down on people in the audience.) However, I have to give the people I saw Casino Royale with credit as no one exhibited any of the behavior in the thread. Even when the movie got to the poker game, which apparently I was the only one able to follow easily and even guess at what hands they were holding all the time. Something about I’m the only one used to reading and memorizing a board quickly (which you had to do watching the movie.) Guessing what the hands were, of course, is a lot easier when you know that A. Bond must eventually win and B. Bond must win in the most spectacular fashion possible.
See, this is exactly why I don’t watch movies. I was born without an attention span and can’t follow the plot (assuming there is one), all the actors look alike to me, and I just want to know NOW what’s going to happen. It is not at all enjoyable to wait and see what unfolds. Oh, and I fall asleep too. And I hate the loud noises. To my credit, I keep my mouth shut and usually just wander off.
And that’s for movies on TV/DVD. The idea of going to a theater and spending two entire hours in one place with no other form of entertainment than what’s on the screen actually panicks me.
I do like MST3K, though. 
The poker hands in that movie were so goddamn unrealistic! There’s no way you get all the way to the river when everyone has hands like that. And, like you, i found it pretty easy to guess what each person was holding.
Wow, me too! You want to go hang out with me at the library or something?
For the MST hijack –
Often I don’t get in-jokes or, more especially, netspeak acronyms. YMMV confused me for ages.
Ordinarily, this ignorance is fought thusly:
Bob: “It’s just like an episode of MST3K.”
Me: “MST3K? What’s that?”
Bob: “Oh, you’re totally missing out! [Link]”
CURTAIN
If I went to a predominantly English forum site, I would not complain because they made references or jokes I did not get. If I wanted to understand them, I’d Google or ask instead of being offended that the focus of their post was not to make a particular point but to educate me on uses and reference. I have this problem most particularly on gaming boards and MMORPG chat channels. What is LFG? What is a pally? What, in Lord of the Rings Online, does LFM mean? (This one I still don’t know. Looking For Minstrel? Are they that useful?)
If I want to know, I ask or I figure it out. I don’t get huffy when people use words and terms I don’t understand, even if they expect me to get it.
Heck yeah! Books are great - no problems following there.
Jeez, I’m glad I’m not the only one.