Now coming into the film I wasn’t expecting Oscar material. These are two “classic” horror movie villains moreso because of the amount of sequels they’ve starred in than for any kind of real horror or exemplary filmmaking. At best, I was expecting a cheesy free-for-all culminating in some kind of double KO
Like two guys who waddled their corpulence towards the last hot dog in a competitive eating contest, these two has-beens fell into the same universe to terrorize the same kids, and just happened to run into each other.
Why would they even fight? They both hate kids and both are pretty much unkillable. It’s like trying to swat your shadow, it’s an exercise in futility. The laughable attempts at getting into Jason’s head by Freddy was pathetic even if they hadn’t already explained Jason’s origins and tried to pass it off as original. And for an R rated horror film, something that’s becoming increasingly rare these days, there was a serious lack of gore
Most of mine have been mentioned except for the Thin Red Line. Oh My God Snore!
Coming off Saving Private Ryan, which I adored, (I went in wanting a good old fashioned war movie, and I got a good old fashioned war movie) Here was another War-ry, according to the trailers, only in the pacific. Ye ha!! But all I got was What!!!:eek::eek: this psuedo artistic, presumably ‘the inhumanity of war’ clap trap, which was so mind numbingly boring and made me so disinterested that the war bits couldn’t get me back in the movie again.
That is the closest I’ve ever gone to walking out of a cinema, and the only reason I didn’t was I was seeing it with a mate. Talking afterwards turns out he wanted to leave too but didn;t becasue he was seeing with a mate! :smack:
I wasn’t disappointed by 300, I love it actually, but I really question the sensibilities of people who said it was so gory. It wasn’t. At all.
Awesome, yes. Gory, no.
I was hoping for more out of Freddy vs. Jason, but I can’t say I didn’t expect to get what we got. Especially after Katharine Isabelle (who was riding high from her role in Ginger Snaps) kept telling anyone who’d listen what a trianwreck the production was. Although I don’t think she did herself any favors when she kept portraying herself as an artist when in reality she was playing “girl who appears for five minutes, takes her shirt off and gets killed.”
I’d claim this one as well, except for the fact that I had a bad feeling about it going in.
By the time they got to the alien spaceship thing, I was, literally, laughing my head off. It was SO farking stupid and bad; I hope MST 3K people-types have a lot of fun with that, though it may be just too easy a target.
Youth In Revolt. All the good dirty jokes were in the uncensored trailer, and it really confirmed Michael Cera as a one-character actor rather than giving him something more badass to work with.
I agree with some of these and disagree with others, but my intent in this thread is to kick all your all’s asses and come in with the big win.
Ready?
The Lost World
I kind of liked Jurassic Park, and ended up reading the novel and liking it. The I read The Lost World. For a book sequel, it was pretty – well, not completely sucky. I really looked forward to the movie. I set aside a special time for dinner and a movie with my girlfriend. Awesome dinner.
Aliens came out when I was around 11 and I watched it a ton of times on video or on cable at a friend’s. I was still young enough that a Saturday afternoon could be spent wading in a waist-deep creek with a long “pulse rifle” stick, waiting for swarms of nightmarish creatures to pour out of the woods. Years later when Aliens3 came out, we saw it on opening night, certain that it was going to be awesome.
It wasn’t. It was largely boring sprinkled with doses of stupid and crapped on the ending of our beloved Aliens. It was also my first real movie-going disappointment.
Romeo Must Die. Jet Li, martial artist phenom, had put out an amazing string of Hong Kong productions and was already a legend in martial arts cinema. He was poised for a Bruce Lee-style Western cinema breakthrough.
Having shown western audiences a wonderful glimpse of his bad-ass epic talent in Lethal Weapon 4, I arrived slavering at the theater for his breakthrough moment, unfortunately with several friends in tow who I’d convinced were about to see an historical cinema moment…and they dressed him up like a hiphop kid, tried to make him “street”, and placed him in what I’m sure was pitched to producers as “Puff Daddy meets Shakespeare…it’s gold, Jerry, gold!”
…leaving the theater: “Guys, guys, really! He’s awesome, really! C’mon, I’ll rent Fist of Legend, then you’ll see. Guys?” crickets chirping
The Bonfire of the Vanities - I absolutely LOVED Tom Wolfe’s book, and was delighted when I heard it was being made into a movie. Brian DePalma was going to direct it? Awesome! Tom Hanks was going to play Sherman McCoy? Well, that’ll be interesting!
What a piece of shite! I have never been so disappointed in a film. Casting Bruce Willis as the hack Brit journalist was totally wrong, a fabulous story was wasted, Hanks sucked in the movie. Everything was just wrong!
Believe it or not, I was looking forward to “The Happening” (M. KNight Shamalayan). I knew there was a pretty good chance it would be shite but I thought the previews were intriguing. It actively pissed me off.
I also had high hopes for “Up in the Air”. I think that pissed me off even more than Shamalayan’s travesty, as I really expected more, partly due to the presence of George Clooney and partly due to all the Oscar buzz. What a bore.
Even though it was 1989 I was so looking forward to seeing a Christopher Nolan version of Batman. Dark and grim. Instead I got Tim Burton’s Batman. Whimsical. I hated it all. Prince tunes? An overweight Nicholson? A batmobile that looked like a parade float? Everything looked like a broadway show.
I knew someday somebody would make it right. Thanks Chris.
I just thought of one that I’m sure a lot of guys my age could identify with - Return of the Jedi.
After “Empire Strikes Back”, the bar was set very high. Lots of dangling plot-threads and one enormous cliff-hanger, advance publicity shots of Jabba the Hutt, and a cool looking monster called the Rancor. How could it go wrong?
Then I saw it…a lot of annoying little monkey men, a rehash of the plotline from “A New Hope”, lots of maudlin father/son bonding, Darth Vader pussies out…Ugh.
Probably a lot of folks could include “Phantom Menace” on this list, but I didn’t have high hopes for it…and actually I’ve never seen it.
The New World. I was really looking forward to a serious cinematic take on the Jamestown Colony-- (adventure! action! danger! discovery! more action!) – and instead got three hours of John Smith’s anguished innermost thoughts while Colin Farrell made scrunchy faces for the camera.
Superman Returns. I was absolutely pumped about being this, even driving two hours so I could see it in IMAX 3D on opening weekend.
But emo-Superman, the cardboard Lois Lane, a scheme that was contrived even by Lex Luthor’s standards, Superman being able to lift the Kryptonite island - it all just went wrong on so many levels.
I tried telling myself it wasn’t so bad. After all, years earlier I had tricked myself into thinking the Phantom Menace was good. But shit, no amount of trickery was going to work this time.
Mine was The Dark Knight. I actually liked Batman Begins, which was rare for me - I’m not much of a blockbuster fan, and even less when it’s a superhero movie. But I found it fairly boring, overly long, didn’t care about Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character at all, and thought the action sequences were a mess.
