1492: Conquest of Paradise was pretty disappointing. Even though it was about true events, they chose a superficial and escapist way to present it, like a history lesson for junior high school kids. The whole thing also had a made-by-committee vibe which sucked out all the energy. It wasn’t even lousy enough to be memorably bad.
However, it didn’t have the thing that made me turn the movie off after 5 minutes - the most atrocious Southern accents I have ever heard out of any actors, ever.
This sums it up exactly how I felt about the movie. I realize now how special the first Star Wars trilogy was (especially the first movie) in developing my love for the movies. Seeing it through a kid’s eyes, it will probably always be my favorite movie for sentimental reasons. I looked forward to The Phantom Menace with more anticipation than any movie I can even think of right now as an adult.
What a turd of a movie.
My SO and best friend temporarily banned me from picking movies after I got them to see Curse of the Golden Flower in a theater.
Except the Dachshund. Best part of the movie.
I loved it-Hanks’ character really learned what he was all about, which is always a fascinating story to me. Why did you despise it?
This topic ostensibly requires you to have high expectations before going into the theatre, only to have them dashed against the rocks afterwards. Me, I honestly can’t think of any-I guess because I always go into a movie assuming it will suck, only to be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t. Actually I go in without assuming anything at all; take the upcoming Hobbit film: while I will be looking forward to it in a sense, I have no prior illusions that it will be a timeless classic-but who knows it might turn out to be one anyway. Yes I know I’m weird.
What do your think he learned? I mean, other than how to catch a fish better or make a rope from palm fronds? He cried over a volleyball, fer chrissake. Sure, he survived, but I never saw any evidence of personal growth. At the end of the movie he was more or less wandering aimlessly, and it didn’t even show that he went after that artist chick.
Sadly, the one part I DO remember is where Johnny Depp’s character (can’t even remember who he was supposed to be) starts dancing to some ridiculous music at the end. Good grief, the twinges of embarrassment I got just watching were almost too much. Had that scene happened at the beginning of the movie, we would have definitely walked out.
I’m still upset we paid extra to watch that trite garbage in 3D.
We watched the Disney animated version three or four times in the month following, just to take the bad taste out. It is such a beautiful movie—wonderful music, animation, and the right amount of creepy vs. crazy—the Burton version is an absolute insult to this and the book. :mad:
Oh, god, that dance! I think I supressed the memory to protect myself. Yes, that was the nadir.
He seemed more humble, among other things. As someone said in another movie, he faced his death and came out the stronger for it. And the ending, while purposely ambiguous, almost certainly set up him to go back to the farm and give her the package (I mean he saved the bloody thing for 5+ years without opening it-he ain’t going to just shrug his shoulders and go home, curiosity being just one strong motivation).
Right–the film never showed the original ending in which it turned out that the box contained a satellite phone with spare batteries, emergency rations, a first aid kit, etc. 
You forgot about the raft. 