Movies in which the evil henchmen aren't completely useless?

Cafe Society
1

So, I’m watching, for the nth time, Lord of the Ring: Fellowship of the Ring, when it reminds me: I’ve always thought (from both the books and the movies) that the Nazgul had the potential for being ominous, powerful foes, especially with their long, hooded black cloaks and their shadowy, ghost-like consistency. But when it really comes down to it, they’re not good for much.

Take the scene at Weathertop. OK, so the Lord of the Nazgul pokes Frodo in the chest, and Frodo ends up carrying this evil wound for the rest of his life, yadda yadda yadda…but he survives. Meanwhile, Aragorn shows up, and single-handedly kicks the collective ass of 5 Nazgul, who run around like a bunch of ninnies and get torched.

When they reappear, now united with their other four brethren to make up the full 9 Nazgul, they wade into the Bruinen and get washed away by a freak (albeit magically-induced) flood. Whew! That was…not really close at all.

In other words, despite how scary and ominous the Nazgul seem to be, when they actually come into confrontation with the good guys, they’re pretty useless. This is especially disappointing after all the build-up of how scary and dangerous they’re supposed to be.

The same, if not more, could be said for the evil henchmen in most sci-fi and fantasy films. The Star Wars stormtroopers are an even better example. At the beginning of Star Wars (the original one–there were no episodes I-III!!), they, along with Darth, make quite an impressive debut, storming a Rebel ship and kicking ass. But that’s the only time the stormtroopers show any kind of menace. Usually, they’re completely incompetent boobs. Especially in Return of the Jedi–a stupid little Ewok steals a speeder-bike. Instead of staying at guard, the idiot stormtroopers run off in pursuit of the damned Ewok. Indeed, the entire Battle of Endor is a huge embarassment–getting your ass handed to you by friggin’ teddy bears is terribly humiliating (yes, I know Lucas had originally planned for it to be Wookies, not Ewoks, but he didn’t film it that way, did he?). Not that they’re much better in the air/space. You have to wonder why it took the Rebel Alliance so long to overcome these bumbling idiots.

Now, I understand the reasoning behind this–the audience prefers situations where the good guys face peril, but are never in any real danger. Personally, however, I’d rather see the forces of evil as actually capable of inflicting real harm on the protagonists.

It’s like watching a sporting match (of whatever variety you prefer). You want your favorite person/team to win, and it feels good when the opponent gets absolutely crushed and humiliated. But when it comes down to pure aesthetics, it’s much more satisfying to watch evenly-matched opponents going at it. I think a movie in which the evil henchmen are just as effective as the good guys would ultimately make for a better, more enduring cinematic experience.

So…where are those movies? I’m thinking mainly of the sci-fi/fantasy genre, although any film that deals with good guys in battle versus a decidedly evil opponent would count.

2

And before anyone calls me on it, I know it’s Lord of the Rings, plural, not Lord of the Ring. Sorry for the error in the OP.

3

Umm… there’s a difference between henchmen and flunkies. Stormtroopers are flunkies. Darth Vader is a henchman, and a pretty efficient one.

4

I agree with the OP. The ultimate movie ruining henchmen moment is in the movie equilibrium where the hero kills like 30 armed henchmen in a hallway.

5

If you count the Germans as henchmen/flunkies, then they were pretty lethal in the Dirty Dozen. A lot of the team got killed or injured, they weren’t just orcs/stormtroopers who’s only job was to shoot, miss and die.

6

On the other hand, Oldboy features a very cool mass flunky slaughter in a hallway. So it can be done.

7

Well…

None of them die and he escapes with a knife still stuck in his back. Great scene though, shows what so much imaginary training can do in the real world!

Would the Borg in First Contact count? They’re pretty efficient at taking out any crew members in their way and by way of a twist its their leader that lets them down in the end.

8

There’s a cool scene in the oft-overlooked Titan AE where the heroes are trying to rescue someone from captivity by slavers. They dress up one of their own like a slave and try to bluff their way past the guard.

The guard immediately sees through them, pointing out the holes in their cover story and the faults in their disguises.

“An intelligent guard. Didn’t see that one coming.”

Of course, then they knock him out and go through anyway, so he wasn’t exactly Effective…

9

The problem is, of course, that in most heroic/adventure movies, you don’t want any of the main characters to die.

I propose that the Indians in many of the westerns of the 30s through 50s are “henchmen.” They’re certainly (often) portrayed as “menacing horde,” much the same as stormtroopers or orcs, and often led by a rogue leader (such as in SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON). In many such movies, the heroes could fend of an attacking army. However, there were plenty of cases where the Indians were a very effective menace, and the hero’s side-kick or some secondary character are killed.

Examples of Indians as effective “henchmen”:

  • In the John Wayne/John Ford STAGECOACH (1939): The stagecoach riders are able to survive a major Comanche attack only because the cavalry comes over the hill at the last minute. The stagecoach driver (comic character Andy Devine) is wounded and the southern gentleman (John Carridine) is killed.
  • In the John Wayne/Howard Hawks RED RIVER (1948): The entire wagon train is wiped out, although offscreen, and John Wayne’s fiance is killed.
10

The henchmen from Diehard were pretty effective.

11

Another reason for the relative ineffectiveness of the baddies is that our heroes are usually some of the best fighters in the universe. I imagine that Storm Troopers would have no problem against your average planetary National Guard, for instance.

12

Agent Z pwns Buzz in their first meeting in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. :smiley:

13

Speaking of Robin Hood (Die Hard…Alan Rickman…Errol Flynn…)
Just how hard would it be for a castle full of Bad Guys to give the beat down on one forest dwelling smartass waltzing into a party with a deer carcass over his shoulders?

14

About ten years ago Walter Hill did an adaptation of Red Harvest* in which Christopher Walken played not a boss, but a henchman, a gunman. He died at the end, but as I recall he wasn’t there just to get walked over.

*That wasn’t the title. Evidently I wasn’t paying attention, because that’s everything I remember about the flick, except that it was set in the southwest instead of northern California. Lots of orange-filtered sun on dyed-red dust.

15

Oddjob in Goldfinger. Does a pretty effective job of wiping out opponents (except Bond, of course).

Same for Rosa Klebb and Red Grant in From Russia with Love.

16

Not a great movie, but in general the Necromongers in Riddick were pretty badass.

17

Until Return of the Jedi, the Emperor was seen/heard from so little that Vader was (as far as audience perception was concerned) effectively the lead antagonist. If you count (mostly) out-of-sight and out-of-mind superiors, then the original Lord of the Rings example doesn’t really work – Sauron fits that description.

18

Saruman would be better described as henchman than Sauron, as he’s really just doing whatever Sauron wants. Given that, he would be a pretty good answer to the OP. He does a fine job of nearly wiping out our heroes.

19

Were you watching the same Riddick I was? The Necros were cool, for sure, but Riddick walked all over them, especially on the surface of Crematoria. They’re the definition of useless flunkies, anonymous and easily defeated.

20

I’d say characters like Saruman are really better defined as something like a sub-lieutenant. He’s a boss in his own right, with his own henchmen, there just happens to be a bigger, badder boss above him.