The most COMPETANT groups of evil minions? (In movies, 'natch)

Cafe Society
1

Possible SPOILERS, of course.

Inspired by this thread, which outlines some of the many failings of the Imperial Military of Star Wars, I’m inclined to ask…in movies and TV, which groups of evil minions/hordes/stormtroopers/henchmen have shown basic competance?

And remember, these are the nameless minions, not henchmen, trusted lieutenants, or main villains.

And, this may skew things somewhat, but…anime counts.

The only guys I can really think of are…ahem, Skeletor’s Army, from the classic of western cinema, Masters of the Universe.

No, really, hear me out…In an odd turnabout from supervillain protocol, Skeletor sends his specially-picked band of hired goons after Dolph Lundgren’s He-Man, rather than sending in the minions first. When the goons (unsurprisingly) fail to capture Dolph, then Skesy sends in the regular infantry.

And it works.

Granted, it took an entire battalion of combined-arms troops, and a little creative hostage taking on bonesy’s part…but, by god, the ground-pounders succeeded where the henchmen failed.

Moreover, during a few laser-battles, even a casual observer will notice that more than a few times, when Skeletor’s troops get hit by laser fire, the blasts flash up against their full-body plastic body armor…but the minion inside keeps fighting. Some people might say that that’s evidence of a lazy optical-printer operator over at Lucasfilm, but I say…these “stormtroopers” wear armor that actually protects against laser fire. A technological innovation currently unmatched by the evil hordes of any other movie supervillain, as far as I know.
So, fellow dopers, I ask you…are there many (or “any”) other hordes of minions that you can count on to NOT be slaughtered like cattle?

2

Do the aliens in Aliens count? What about the bugs in Starship Troopers?

Odd that I can think of any humanoid villains that were worth a damn in a fight.

3

I hereby submit that Jango Fett was extremely self-concious.

See, the Empire managed to oppress entire civilizations and spanned most of the old Republic in its iron grip. However, in all the movies the stormtroopers (who we realize in Ep2 are all clones of Jango Fett) have the aim of a drunken Jawa. Clearly, the fact that the camera is turned on them makes them flinchy, thus ruining their aim. All the Rebellion needed was embedded reporters and the Empire would have fallen in a week.

4

I don’t know if Starship Troopers counts, because the titular “heroes” are incompetent enough for an entire galaxy of Stormtroopers. Plus, anyone of the CGI bugs has more charisma and acting ability than the entire human cast put together. Once you figure in the fact that virtually all sf movies are named after the villain/monster of the movie, and it becomes clear that the bugs are actually the heros of Starship Troopers, and that the ending is actually meant to be a big downer.

5

If they’re all clones, then why are they not all of the same height? And why do they all have different voices? Just a nitpick…

6

I’m going to say Captain Barbossa’s crew in Pirates of the Caribbean. Hear me out. Spoilers follow.

They make one major mistake: They grab the wrong person in the raid.

But! They take the Pearl away from Captain Sparrow. They manage to find Cortez’s gold. They manage to sail the seas and terrorize enough to maintain the Pearl’s reputation and amass quite a collection of booty. They manage to round up every last bit of cursed gold. They manage to catch and sink the Interceptor and take the crew captive.

If the curse hadn’t been lifted, they would’ve easily beaten the British and taken their ship.

I maintain any failure was due to Barbossa’s incompetent leadership.

7

The Uruk Hai.

8

Didn’t the Winged Monkeys of The Wizard of Oz do a fairly good hench-simian job, up until the point that Dorothy liquidated the Witch?

9

Just to correct the nitpick… Stormtroopers are NOT clones of Jango Fett. They are in fact normal people, but I wont spoil why :wink:
Oh and im with the Uruk Hai from LOTR.

10

Ninjas tend to be a good many cuts above the typical stooge.

11

Destro’s Iron Grenadier Mercenary Troops are also very top-drawer stuff.
Profiled here–

http://www.sgtsavage.com/irongrenadier.html

12

Stripe’s Gremlin cohorts, I’d think.

13

Most of the evil henchmen in LOTR seem to do a pretty good job. They probably would have run the table with a few more brakes or witout the active intervention of the Elves.

Funny thing on the stormtroopers is they did kick some serious robot butt in AOTC. Heck in Star Wars, they did pretty decent (except where Solo and Skywalker were concerned). And don’t forget the through butt kicking they delivered on Hoth either.

Although, one wonder what possible reason the stromtroopers went from really effective to not quite as effective other then the fact that Lucas is making it up as he goes along.

The Shadows had some pretty good henchmen in B5. They managed to take over Earth Gov and other majot governments.

14

I’d say that Boba Fett was pretty up to snuff, at least up until his Sarlacian demise in that hug-fest Return of the Jedi. Of course, all he really did was nod to Vader a couple times and exhibit his proficiency at pushing a frozen Han Solo up a cargo ramp…

15

S. M. Stirling’s Draka are a pretty competent crew – they WON after all. And after they took over the solar system, they genetically engineered themselves into even nastier nastiness.

16

Heh. They were the first ones I thought of when I read the thread title. Did what they were told, got the job done, no muss, no fuss. Could use a few winged monkeys at the outfit I work for.

17

I was always impressed by the competence of the terrorist henchmen in the original Die Hard. Successfully got into the building, took the hostages, fended off the LAPD and opened the safe without a hitch. If it hadn’t been for John McClane…

18

I guess you could consider the Jem H’adar (I’m not a big fan, so I don’t know the proper spelling) and the Breen from Deep Space 9. I mean, they were working for the Changelings and managed to do some real damage in virtually every encounter (first encounter with the J’s, they destroyed a Federation Cap ship with a few small attack ships, and the Breen’s ion beams managed to take out the fleet that first attempted to take them down).

19

The various tribe members in Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death were competent and hot, and thus role models for modern career women everywhere.

20

Those nameless guys that followed Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid for so long. Wouldn’t want 'em on MY trail.