How did this thread get so many posts without mention of Manos, the Hands of Fate, a movie so bad it is hilarious!
Mine has a 1.5
I can’t believe no one has mentioned Ice Pirates – Robert Urich and Anjelica Huston, even. Unbelievable schlocky fun.
Embrace of the Vampire is not only unbelievably bad, it also features quite a few scenes of topless Alyssa Milano (trying to “break out” of her child-like Who’s the Boss image).
For a nicely comprehensive list of enjoyably horrible movies, check out www.stomptokyo.com (or read their book, Reel Shame).
I have a copy of that book, too, it was my dad’s! Cool!
I don’t want to think about sitting through a non-MSTIED version of Manos. AAAAAAAGH!
Back in my youth…
(I say youth, because a teenager called me ‘sir’ the other day, which means that I’m no longer ‘hip’ and ‘with it’. I’m now hateful and despondent. And get off my lawn, you damn kids!)
…as I was saying, back in my youth, I started a B Movie Appreciation Association as an undergrad. We had weekly movies of cheap schlock that someone owned or picked up at a video store, and each semester held a major event with 3 or 4 schlocky films on the big screen. (Paying for the rights to display even Beastmaster 2 is brutal. Thankfully we asked for $10,000, and the university cut us down to 2k, which was more than enough for our festivals…)
One Tuesday night I was unable to pick up a movie and had someone else bring something. She provided the MST3k version of Cave Dwellers. We laughed, we cried, we threw popcorn at the screen.
Next week I was pressed for time, and rushed into Tower Records to grab the first crappy movie I saw. Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS? Er… okay, the second crappy movie I saw.
The Blade Master. Perfect. Looks Conan-esque, never heard of this, no need to read the recap on the back of the box, off we go, racing on the subway back across town. I arrived slightly late, suffered the barrage of popcorn from the waiting viewers, and popped it into the vcr.
…and found out that Cave Dwellers was the TV title of The Blade Master. Now that was pain.
[sub]How much keeffe is in this movie? MILES O’KEEFFE![/sub]
Jason X - Jason, 400 years in the future, in space…there’s no way in HELL they could try and be serious about this concept, and that made it great.
In the same vein, Deep Blue Sea
Dirty Work
Reefer Madness, Cocain Fiends, and all those other “Educational” films of the 30s and 40s
Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter
80% of John Carpenter’s movies, including Vampires, Ghosts of Mars, and of course, Big Trouble in Little China.
Night of the Creeps
Club Vampire Really, not good at all, except for the rapping midget vampire
For Your Hight Only James Bond spoof with a midget protagonist
Meet the Feebles
Hell Comes to Frogtown
man, I could keep going, and going, and going…
The Beast Must Die - If only for the horribly cheesy “werewolf break” or the fact that they managed to work a car chase into a werewolf movie.
Cyborg 2087 - Michael Rennie as a proto-Terminator. 'Nuff said.
[url="http://us.imdb.com/Title?0061850"Journey to the Center of Time - I have brain cells devoted to remembering this thing and I want them back!
[url=“http://us.imdb.com/Title?0059743”]Space Monster (aka Space Probe Tarus) - Saw this one late one night on TV and had to watch. It’s really that bad, if only for the fact that it’s almost impossible to tell what the “space monster” of the title is!
:smack: I assume you can figure out what you need to cut-and-paste there…
Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Mommy Dearest is so bad that some cities still have big screen showings where people (including more than a few drag queens dressed as Joan) bring wire hangers and say the lines along with the “actors”.
There was an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER many years ago that starred Robert Hays (remember him?) and Charlene Tilton that was so godawfully bad it was fantastic. At one point Charlene actually says “Eeeeeeeeeeeek!” when she screams. (I’m assuming it was written in the script and she didn’t realize that it just means “Scream, you silly former Dallas vixen!”)
Flash Gordon - Brian Blessed probably scarred many people for life.
Any Irwin Allen Disater flick. The Posideon Adventure, Towering Inferno, Flood, Fire and the one and dear to my Heart, ** SWARM.** It is so dumb it defies the logic and boggles the mind.
My 2 faves…
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The Creeping Terror. Teens are terrorized by 6 people under a blanket with vacuum cleaner hoses stuck on it.
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The Hills Have Eyes…Tourists vs. Local Inbreds.
**Starship Troopers ** Much better with a group. Preferably drunk.
This is a jewel, my favorite in its genre:
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
It’s dumb, it’s silly, but I love it. What a brave concept!
Another superior bad B horror film ( and one of the two horror films I have managed to sit through. I am a pantywaist when it comes to scary movies.) **Triology of Terror **.
Three seperate terror stories, the only one I remember is where the cast is being terrorized by what looks like a bizzare voodoo doll on a stick chasing them. Nearly pissed my pants. The rest of the movie is a blank.
Porky’s and their subsequent sequels. I think this movie started the road trip/high school/sex theme in the 80’s.
**Chicken Fried Movie ** very adolescent humor, vigenettes, if I recall, the only one that sticks with me is the one " Catholic School Girls in Trouble."
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. One of the funniest bad movies I’ve ever come across. It’s about, as the title indicates, a killer snowman. Stop laughing.
Rent it or buy it if you get a chance.
“Wizard of Gore”. Terrible, terrible, terrible, hilariously terrible.
Easily as bad as “Plan 9” for sheer ineptity.
Ineptity: Is this even a word?
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
You mean Kentucky Fried Movie, an early sketch/slapstick film by the Zucker-Abrams-Zucker team that went on to make Airplane and Naked Gun. If you like that one, Amazon Women On the Moon is very similar.
I really enjoy Six String Samurai, a low-budget post-apocalyptic rock-n-roll movie about a samurai guitarist (played by newcomer Jeffrey Falcon) making his way across the wastelands of America to reach the last civilized city, Lost Vegas. Along the way, he befriends the most annoying child in cinematic history, and he is forced to fight evil bowlers, a Siberian surf band, cavemen, a '50s sitcom-style family of cannibals, the entire Russian army, and Death himself (as a black-garbed heavy metal guitarist). And the sword and axe-wielding hero may just be Buddy Holly, alive and well.
This movie is very much like an anime feature come to life. The pacing can be maddeningly slow (like many animes), but the director obviously loves Japanese animation and Hong Kong-style action cinema. Plus the instrumental surf soundtrack by the Red Elvises and Brian Tyler is fantastic–easily the best part. The dialogue is awful, but at least it is few and far between. But if you like stuff like Army of Darkness, Mad Max, and Japanimation, check this one out.
Gymkata, starring someone or other from the 1984 US men’s gymnastic team (it doesn’t matter which one).
Infra-Man - “The situation is so bad, it is the worst it has ever been!”
And (the envelope, please) the Most Atrociously Entertaining Film of All Time is -
The Trial of Billy Jack, starring Tom Laughlin (my mother dated him briefly in high school). It has to be seen to be disbelieved. If I ever see this on video, I am checking it out and never returning it.
Regards,
Shodan