Epic Movie. I could feel my neurons going into spasm.
Considering I felt tremendously stupider and sad for the human race as a whole after I saw the trailer for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of brain damage that will be inflicted on people who watch the whole movie.
Hey! Demon Seed’s a masterpiece! I love that movie!
Paradise is truly wretched ( really, is any film with cutesy chimpanzees in it ever good? ) and the darling miss Cates was all of 17 when it was filmed, slightly elevating the prurient shudders of fixated dirty old men everywhere ( me certainly included ).
But dayummm, she was hot ( still is, really ). The young Phoebe Cates comes pretty close to my concept of perfection in feminine beauty. So just turn off the volume and mentally excoriate yourself for being a filthy perv…you’ll enjoy it much more :p.
Paradise has nudity and nice scenery. Turn off the sound and your brain and just enjoy it, dude.
Ah, great minds…
My mother wants to see that movie. She loves talking animal movies. :rolleyes:
“Armageddon” may not have made me lose IQ points, but it was so stupid it made me angry.
Strange Wilderness…with a cast like that, I figured there had to be at least one good laugh in it. Nope. It was one of the few movies I’ve seen that truly had no redeeming value. It was the movie equivalent of packing peanuts. I felt my brain cells committing mass suicide in retaliation for for making them to endure this steaming pile of celluloid shit.
I liked looking at the folding geometric whatever it was supposed to be, but the rest of the movie was 100% pure stupid.
edit: the simpsons takeoff with pierce brosnan was ok, though.
Flightplan. I had to re-learn basic multiplication tables after watching that one.
I just rewatched The Village last night. I’m left with absolutely nothing to say.
(In my vidstore we have a “marquee” coming soon sign, with 12"x2.5" cards for upcoming movies. When my boss found out I have design experience, he cancelled his subscription for the readymade cards and makes me do them. I hide little bombs in them, which customers almost never notice. The one for The Happening says "M. Night Shyamalamadingdong’s / THE HAPPENING / Just when you thought it was safe to rent again . . . " --No one has noticed it yet. I think I’ll photoshop Carrot Top into it, see if that gets a reaction.)
I didn’t actually watch this movie, but just reading the synopsis of Disaster Movie was like a punch in the brain. How can we justify living in a world where people who wrote this movie make money?
How on earth did you manage to read more than three paragraphs of that?
Along with Epic Movie and Disaster Movie, I nominate Date Movie. I only even gave it a chance because of Alyson Hannigan, and I turned it off with twenty minutes to go. I never stop watching movie, but even getting that far into it, I just couldn’t take another second of it. I watch a lot of cheesy horror, and have a full appreciation of tons of “bad movies”, but those freaking ______ Movie movies kill me. What kills me even more is that there obviously is a market for them, because they just keep making them. I’m getting angry again just thinking about Date Movie.
I’m torn between Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers and Paul Verhoeven’s The Hollow Man. Both films are exquisite illustrations of the principle that a fantastic premise does not absolve characters of the need to react believably. Starship Troopers is the more consistently dumb film, maintaining at all times a uniformly crushing idiocy like the pressure of the deepest oceans until the cortical synapses simply lose their ability to conduct ions. Conversely, The Hollow Man playfully alternates between brutally tedious cliches and moments of dazzling retardedness unprecedented in film history, thereby playing havoc with the brain’s blood chemistry as bubbles of nitrogen are forced out of solution, explosively rupturing the capillaries deep within the corpus callosum resulting in embolism, seizure and death.
The dignity of all humanity was lessened irrevocably by the fact that a script treatment for a 95 million-dollar motion picture contained the scenario: “Deep within a top-secret government invisibility lab far beneath the streets of a major city, a scientist leads a test gorilla on a leash.”
Didn’t see The Core. Didn’t see Paradise. I’ll tell you what I did see though.
I saw Ballistic: Ecks versus Sever.
As my friend’s brother said “They must have had a screenwriting contest among 6 year olds. They took the best one and made a movie out of it.”
I heard that Trig Palin was conceived during a screening of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension hurt me in ways I didn’t know I could still be hurt. And I love stupid bad sci-fi movies!
Did you never see the one in which he was Louisiana Cajun, then?
I don’t think his movies qualify; I don’t think they’re ‘dumb’ exactly. They just never pretended to be more than laughably thin excuses to show off his abs.
Not the dumbest movie I ever saw (I can’t remember the name of that one), but for second place, I nominate The Quick and the Dead.
I kept waiting for it to make sense. I’ve watched it several times (there is one scene I love), and it just gets worse. The premise *, the cast, the plot, and even the way the central conflict is depicted on all three levels … that actually could have been a good movie. It should have been. But it wasn’t even fun.
Ralph Bakshi’s adaptation of The Lord of the Rings was so stupid that it simply forgot its own ending.
“Durrr… an’ then… an’ then the orcs attack some more, an’… er… an’ then Gandalf shows up, an’ everything’s okay! The End.”