“House of the Dead”
I force all my friends to watch it. It is so bad you can’t believe your eyes. 12 minute gunfight with zombies! And hilariously bad “bullet time” effects! It uses screens from the video game it is based on as transition shots… actual screens from the game!
It’s a wonderful mess.
Ah, yes, I will agree with this one. Uwe Boll is the Ed Wood of our generation. “Alone in the Dark” isn’t as good/bad, though. It’s mostly just boring. It’s great if you’re curious to see how badly Tara Reid acts, though. As I said in my Netflix review: when you’re out-acted by a red shirt who dies minutes after being introduced, you’re a bad actor.
Children of the Corn
Oh good og. The acting isn’t so bad, but it’s just so gory and… stupid. And not one resonably looking person in that entire movie. Besides, Issacs talks like Yoda! It’s a must see in the so-bad-it’s-good movie genre.
Demolition Man
I can’t even begin to explain how stupid, how terrible this movie is.
Attack of The Killer Tomatoes
Blood of Heroes. Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen star, so you know it must be good.
Aliens vs. Predator has the most unbelievable Omigod, are they gonna MAKE OUT?! moment between Sanaa Lathan’s character and the main Predator. There’s a scene where they’re standing together on a cliff, gazing into one another’s eyes, and I swear to God I thought they were going to get down to some interspecies lovin’.
Showgirls…
Demi Moore’s Scarlett Letter. It’s an MST3K that writes itself.
King Kong Lives was one I remember laughing my way through, though this was in the late 1980s when I still smoked pot, so To the Lighthouse may have seemed downright hysterical at the time.
Lake Placid.
Too much fun making fun of this one. Volcano? Was that the one with Tommy Lee Jones in San Fran? Lots of fun making fun of that one too.
Doesn’t count - it isn’t really a bad movie, but a parody of bad movies.
I’ll go with Robot Monster , the funniest unintentionally bad movie I’ve ever seen. The titular monster is a guy in a gorilla suit with a diving bell helmet who constantly rants against the hu-mans. There’s a scene where he comes after the remaining hu-mans and is shown walking down a canyon trail somewhere in southern California. He walks and walks and walks and walks and walks and walks and walks and walks. Then he walks some more, followed by more walking. This is intercut with the hu-mans passively awaiting their doom.
“Desperado” (With Antonio)
“Showgirls”
“Evil dead II”
Any of the “Basket Case” movies…
Or as I call it : Ally McBeal Meets the Lake Monster
I’ve been having my annual Bad ilm Festival since well before MST3K. (In fact, when friends first told me about MST3K, they said “Somebody’s doing the same thing you do, only on TV”). Here are some of the flicks we’ve done over the years:
**Plan Nine from Outer Space
Robot Monster** (These two are the classic bad films)
**Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend
The Giant Claw** (you must see this one, if only for the monster)
**Lisztomania
Forbidden Zone
Megaforce
Sorceress** (The Roger Corman film of that name)
**The Sword and the Sorceror
Catwomen on the Moon
Zardoz
Altered States
The Creature That Wasn’t Nice/Starship/The Naked Space
The First Nudie Musical
Star Crystal
**
That really might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen. When they first started showing those video game shots as transitions, I thought it was incredibly stupid and they annoyed me. But I soon began to look forward to them, because they were much better than the actual movie. Once I realized that, I knew what a rare thing this movie was. Uwe Boll has a rare “gift”.
Phew. I had a hard time sitting through Robot Monster. Keep in mind that I regularly watch and enjoy the Beast of Yucca Flats. Seriously.
A friend and I make a regular habit of watching current-release Hong Kong action and drama films. Most of them would fall in this category.
I’m assuming no one has yet mentioned “Mommy Dearest”, “Reefer Madness”, “Showgirls”, “Logan’s Run” or “Basic Instinct” yet because they seemed like such obvious howlers.
Anyway, here’s a few more:
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Chopping Mall (Classic tagline: There are more than prices being slashed at…the Chopping Mall!)
It’s surprising how many schlock ‘classics’ are actually duff. For instance, Tenebrae is supposedly a masterpiece. I managed to watch 15 minutes of the DVD (that I had bought, mind you) before ejecting it in favour of some channel-surfing.
Space Mutiny is an awesomely bad movie. Vanilla or MST3K version, it doesn’t matter, because even if it was playing in an empty room with the volume down there would still be the sounds of laughter and mockery at the golf-cart-chase-in-the-basement scene.
Buford’s Beach Bunnies: Jim Hanks (Tom’s lesser-known brother) as a 30-something coitophobe whose dad offers a hundred grand to the first one of his waitresses who can lay him. Characters have names like “Amber Dextrous” and “Beula Lugosi” “Dr. Van Horney” and “The Amazing Foreskin”.
Nice Girls Don’t Explode: Michelle Meyrink as April Flowers, a girl whose mom wants to keep from being intimate with boys by telling her that she’ll explode if she has sex. It seems to be true because whenever April is with a boy, things start spontaneously exploding. Until the day that one boy finally sees through mom’s charade and makes a stand. Featuring Wallace Shawn as an inept burglar with an unfortunate name.