Movies that do NOTHING for you

Sometimes I see a movie and it makes me feel different (Requiem for a Dream), or a movie makes me laugh out loud (Spinal Tap), or I absolutely hated it (Matrix 2), or I was pleasantly surprised at how bad it wasn’t (Sex and the City), or I was pissed that I wasted my time on it (Palindromes).

I very rarely see a movie that does absolutely nothing for me.

The other night I watched a movie that left me feeling nothing afterwards. Confetti was the movie. Perhaps if I didn’t like the other work of most of the cast - Robert Webb, Olivia Coleman, Martin Freeman, Jimmy Carr - I would have hated it, or would have been pissed that I wasted my time.

But when it was over I was all “meh” and that was that. I didn’t even feel any better or worse for having seen Robert Webb’s willy. A lot.

I almost felt that way about a similar movie, called For Your Consideration but at least that introduced me to Nina Conti, who is teh awesome. The movie is similar because it’s also a “non-scripted” mocumentary.

Anyone else ever see a movie that really did not sway you in any way, good or bad?

I felt that way about For Your Consideration also but I felt weird because I wanted to like it. I really liked Best in Show, but this one…meh. Nothing.

Re: Confetti, if I may quote Wikipedia:

Six Days, Seven Nights. When it was over, my wife asked me what I thought of it. “It was a movie” was the best I could do.

I don’t remember the name of the movie (no wonder), but I went to one once that was so unremarkable that when I was asked my opinion, the best I could come up with was, “It appeared to be in focus.”

I don’t get the attraction for Zombie or Vampire movies at all. Zero. Nada. And this is coming from a person that admits that I kind of like Independence Day and Armageddon.

No accounting for taste I guess.

American Beauty did nowt for me.

Yeah, I had read about Webb and Coleman’s reactions to making the film, so I thought I would hate it. I couldn’t even manage to hate it…

I have to admit that Children of Men did nothing for me. It had been recommended to me as a deeply moving both intellectually and spiritually, and I was all psyched up for that (with Clive Owen as an added bonus), and…pfffft My reaction, come end credits was, “…That was it?”

I grant you that the future world was really, really well-done – great production design, great acting, great cinematography. I don’t know what it was exactly that was lacking. Maybe the plot was too simple and linear? I don’t know. I just know it left me flat.

2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s kind of like listening to an obscure Mozart piece - technically sound but nothing special or pleasant.

Any slash movies such as Saw or Hostel type movies. They just make me sick. It’s like violent porn that is somehow rated R.

I’m not a baby in the woods but this kind of shit just turns my stomach. These movies appeal to the lowest of our species.

If you like these types of movies, fine. I just don’t want to know you.

Yep. After Best in Show (Where is Busy Bee?!) and Waiting for Guffman (I only saw the first half) I was really looking forward to it. Not glad I saw it, not disappointed, just ambivalence.

Pretty much all of Wes Anderson’s work.

“Rushmore” didn’t have a single funny, touching, or interesting moment, nor did it didn’t have a single character I cared at all about.

The English Patient
Donnie Darko
A Clockwork Orange

I hate to nitpick/play junior mod, but I think the OP is talking about movies that did nothing for you, not movies that you actively hate.

In that vein: Burn After Reading. There were some good moments, but I pretty much left the theatre going, “Well, that was… two hours of my life.”

Casablanca was like that for me; just kind of meh, and don’t care if I never see it again.

I’d forgotten about Children of Men, which is another one that left me flat. While I was watching it, I remember thinking it was pretentious and overblown (we actually went to see it accidentally; friend: “there’s a new Julianne Moore movie out; let’s go see it!” me: “okay!” In the middle of the movie, she leaned over and whispered, “this isn’t the new Julianne Moore movie I was thinking of!”)

The Princess Bride. My friends all rave about it, but every time I try to watch it, I fall asleep.

Crash was trite, and did nothing for me.

I recently saw “Lost in Translation.” Not horrible, not wonderful. Just a movie.

+1
I’m non-charmable I guess.