I read CAPalert all the time! Really, it’s one of my top sites to surf to when I’m bored, and when I saw this thread title I gasped in hopes that this is what it would be about.
My favorite is the one for Clockstoppers, because it has a black mark in the Impudence/Hate category for… get ready for it… “Irresponsible Cycling”
Holy crap! Hide this Satanic filth from our children! What utter trash will Hollywood produce next?
LC
Anyone notice this? When you click on the Capalert link, it throws a pop up at you. it’s for a $.30 BIC pen. The advertising text almost makes me want to weep for the future of intelegence:
Stick Pen White barrel and blue cap and plug. 6 inches long. Medium point. Blue ink. ( Yes, they are describing the pens you have in your desk drawer by the gross. It even has a drawing of a typical BIC pen. )
It goes on:
With the CAP logo and ChildCare Action Project(CAP) Ministry, www.capalert.com, cap@capalert.com imprinted in blue on the barrel.
Send your tax-deductable donation in US dollars to: <address deleted> or click this image to charge your donation through blah blah blah. Either way BE SURE to give an address to send your pen(s).
What a complete and utter load of shit.
Hmmmmmmm The colors and caps and bolding are exactly as they appear in the ad.
sarcastically sings
“Onward Christian Soldiers, send me all your dough.
Pledge your cash for Jesus, sent to me below.”
I checked out the CAP review for About a Boy. I love that under “murder/suicide” there were “none noted,” as though the filmmakers might have slipped one in.
I love Capalert. The first few times I saw that website I thought it was a parody.
The first review I read there was for “Bicentennial Man”. It’s so funny.
My favourite part is:
This guy has issues.
Aaaah, I can’t remember the film but it was a recent one. It was particularly funny because the review sounded like the guy really liked the movie, but his programming was trying to convince him that it was evil and he shouldn’t enjoy it.
Nipples.
I want to tie these people to a chair, tape their eyelids open, and force them to watch Doom Generation. If any movie would offend God, it’d be that one. Hell, it offends everyone else.
I remember there was a Catholic news letter back in Beaumont that reviewed movies on a “Moral/Immoral” scale. They gave “The Rock” an immoral rating, not because of all the violence and death and scenes of guys’ faces melting off due to biological weapons, but because Nicholas Cage’s girlfriend in the movie was Catholic, pregnant, and not married.
Some people need to stop getting their morals out their ass.
I think the guy goes a little overboard, but really, if you were to take a child to a movie, but wanted to remove all doubt that there would not be content in the movie inappropriate, one could argue that this site may be useful.
My favorite Rev. Carter quote is from his review of The Birdcage:
“I’m not a homophobe-I just don’t like homosexuals.”
Guinastasia, I’m pretty sure he’s not Catholic. He doesn’t seem it.
Mobo85, author of “Jesus Goes To The Movies”
Yeah, issues with robots, it seems. He sounds like he’s a good customer for Old Glory Insurance
“Robots are very strong and they use old peoples’ medicine for fuel”
This guy’s reviews are hysterical. You mean there’s…gasp… MURDER in a movie called American Psycho??? Who would’ve thunk it?
I agree that his handy-dandy numerical reviews serve as a good movie selecting tool. The worse he thinks a movie is, the better it probably is.
Now, I’m off to respond to his pop-up for Bic pens. Those things are sweet, and so hard to find.
You gotta love this gem from the review of “Dick:”
Dude, why are you counting?
Didja notice how he keeps talking about “the most foul of the foul words”? Sounds almost biblical.
(“fuck”, I guess? You never know. This guy is clearly Ned Flanders.)
I note that Left Behind: The Movie got marked way down for violence, etc. The guy’s all about reporting every little bit of everything in his special categories, using his mathematical rating system. Whatever. I think he’d do better giving frank opinions rather than totting up the boobies.
I saw the movie and I missed Natalie Portman’s ass???
Once again,. i cant figure out the quote thing, but that is a quote. The scene in question is the bar scene at the begining. for a few sonconds an alien in red has her ass on display through fishnet stockings.
On a more disturbing note this man claims to have raised over 25 foster children. does anyone else feel as sorry for these children as i do? They’re probably just as F-d up as he is now.
One of the things I found funny about his rating where he first complains the Robin Williams robot is NOT human and should never be found to be human because he is a robot.
Yes when this “robot” head is just sitting around unattached to the body he complains about it.
He didn’t mention the other robots in the workshop in the movie. You know, the ones that look like machines and are missing most of the limbs.
It would be like saying a Furby without the skin is a nasty thing for someone to look at.
Machine parts (fake or real) unattached to the main machine is an act against god.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Alessan *
**From the site:
[quote]
After more than 500 movies I suspect I can say with credibility that any of the imagery of evil you have seen before now does not match the evil in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
snerk
I doubt the CAPAlert guy is familiar with Tolkien’s statement that “The Lord of the Rings is a fundamentally religious and Catholic work,” but I also doubt it would make much of a difference to him even if he were. (Actually, given the site’s general resemblance to all things Jack Chick, it might make things worse.)
I mean, really! The movie portrays evil beings as evil! The horror!
sigh I think ill-informed people like this do a lot more damage to Christianity than any fictional portrayal of magic ever could.
The quote that really belonged on a poster was from the opening sentence of his review of the South Park movie:
I still think that the 100 he gave Mary Poppins blows a hole in his nice objective model. Magic is bad, unless he says it isn’t.
I think he wastes his time on a lot of movies, though. Is a parent who is concerned about exposing his or her children to non-Christian imagery going to take the kids to see American Psycho? Mullholland Drive? Even South Park: BLU? If they do, don’t they deserve what they get?
Dr. J
From his review of that children’s classic, Mullholland Drive:
Criminal. Just criminal.
Dr. J
Why doesn’t he just condemn fiction as a whole and get it over with?
(paraphrased)
