My favorite is from South Park review, “Angels are nude - very nude.” I wonder how very-nudity is different from regular kind of nudity.
I find it life-affirming that when he reviews Battlefield Earth, even the Capalert.com guy concentrates more on what a crappy, illogical movie it is than how much violence and smoking and most foul of the foul words there is.
Yeah, that’s from the scene where Anakin and Obi-Wan pursue a contract killer into a bar, and Anakin is walking around trying to spot her. One female alien has a thong on under fishnets.
I was shocked at the review of A Simple Plan ( http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120324 ). It’s about two brothers (played by Billy Bob Thornton and Bill Paxton) who find the wreckage of a plane that crashed a year or two before, and a duffel bag full of money in it. They decide to hide and keep the money, but things just get more and more complicated. I was astounded that his review reviled it as being a film that teaches you how to commit crimes and get away with them; it really does not promote that at all, and goes into great detail about what psychological and other harm this secret causes those involved. I was profoundly disturbed after watching the movie, and anyone who thinks it encourages criminal behavior is nuts.
Plot spoiler for A Simple Plan, read if you’ve seen the film but perhaps don’t recall it fully:
After going so far as to kill people to keep the secret of the money safe, they find out that this drug money has all been marked and the serial numbers are on file, so any attempt to use the money will land them in jail. Thus this basically good but financially desperate couple ruined their marriage and killed for nothing at all.
Denise makes a good point- “A Simple Plan” is NOT an immoral film, and it doesn’t condone theft or murder. Rather, it’s a dark-but-moral film that shows how easily decent people CAN slip into evil. No one ends up on the Riviera, living off ill-gotten loot! Just the opposite, the initial, seemingly victimless crime has dire consequences for everyone involved in it. I don’t know anything about Sam Raimi’s personal beliefs, so I certainly won’t claim him as a Christian, but the lesson of “A Simple Plan” is one that Christians should have no trouble endorsing: small sins lead to larger ones, which lead to destruction.
Now, is it a film I’d take a little child to see? No. But that’s NOT the standard by which I judge whether a film is moral. There’s a HUGE difference between saying “this film is not for kids” and saying “this film is un-Christian.”
Bear in mind, Jesus himself said that his followers must be “as gentle as doves, yet as sly as serpents.” That is, a Christian’s obligation is NOT to hide his eyes and ears from anything that might be disturbing, but to know and recognize evil. And given that, a film aimed at adults can include all kinds of subject matter- yes, including gore and/or graphic sex- and still be consistent with Christian morality.
The real problem with Capalert and the people who run is is NOT that they’re bad people, or that their premise is necessarily wrong (parents NEED some kind of guide for determining whether a film is appropriate viewing for their kids). The problem is, they equate “Christian” and “moral” with an absence of bloodshed or nudity. And that’s a bad standard.
Example? Well, there’s no bloodshed, nudity or graphic sex in “Pretty Woman.” There’s lots of all three in “Boogie Nights.” But if I had to judge which film had a more evil message, I’d say “Pretty Woman” does. I mean, what’s the message of “Pretty Woman”? That prostitution is a great career in whcih you get to stay at fancy hotels, shop on Rodeo Drive, and marry a billionaire! “Boogie Nights,” on the other hand, shows both why the sex industry is appealing AND why it’s so evil and destructive.
Similarly, Martin Scorsese’s “Goodfellas” is far more brutal and violent than most PG rated gangster films… but by showing career criminals for the thugs they are, by deglamorizing the Mafia, I think Scorsese did a major service. In my book, that makes “Goodfellas” a highly moral film, even if there are no truly virtuous characters in it.
Bottom line: if a teenager MUST see a film about the sex industry, better they see “Boogie Nights,” disturbing as it is, than “Pretty Woman.” And better they see REAL Mafia goons like Henry Hill in “Goodfellas” than the glamorous Mob in a host of other sanitized films.
Excellent comparisons, astorian.
Hey, here’s a thought: Let’s try to make up a possible movie that the Capalert guy cannot find offensive in any way – and don’t forget to keep in mind the insanity of his standards. For example, consider a film that’s just ninety minutes of a kitten sleeping, playing, and roaming around. I suspect he would have to downgrade it for “bad attitude” every time the kitten turns around and shows us his little pink butthole.
Simple – do a remake of Left Behind, except that the heathens figure out what has really happened halfway through the movie and spend the rest of the time on their knees, gnashing their teeth at their doomed fate and praying to the God whom they’ve been ignoring all their lives. 
If there was such a movie, I’d watch it.
I wonder if these people even bother to READ these Bibles they’re thumping. I mean, you get lots and lots of sex, violence. Blood, gore, fornicating, all the gory details. Incest, rape, adultery, etc.
D’uh.
Changing Lanes is another example of this.
Heh heh, Guin said “fornicating”, heh heh…
Do he review books?
Jeebus, I would love to see what he’d have to say about
this
IIRC, Prince of Egypt gets points off for violence and stuff, and they went out of their way to be scripturally accurate…
Looking at Silentgoldfish’s post again –
What on earth does this mean (besides being redundant)?
I ought not to post in these threads. It feels like shooting fish in a barrel.
Careful, or you’ll get points off for violence toward fish, a well-known Christian symbol.
From the review of Pitch Black:
Well, at least he knows he’s a radical fanatic…
It’s funny how he claims he’s being objective. Pitch Black had “excessive breast exposure” and “dress to maximize the female form or skin exposure”? Didn’t the mere hint that Whitney Houston even had breasts in The Preacher’s Wife didn’t catch his eye. Or Helen Hunt’s tight top in Twister? And it seems like he was too busy counting obscenities in American History X to even think about the friggin’ plot.
I can just see the silly bugger squirming through Kevin Smith films. (Where’s the Chasing Amy review??? Heh.)
I also like the ones from Fight Club:
Do zombie movies offend God?
If God is so offended, why doesn’t he create a Facebook page about it? Or, y’know, smite something?
Did He tell you He’s offended or is it just you?
An unexamined Faith is not worth having, and there would be no virtue in avoiding temptations if those temptations were not available.
We are not here to help you support your agenda, which you’d know if you read the registration agreement.