15 Minutes…Boy is this film ever aptly named. That’s almost precicely how long this thing works. Starts out edgy and different. Sets up a nice tension between fire investigators and homicide detectives, supported by competent and varied cast and then the wheels come off completely. The only thing that kept me watching to the end was to see how far into the brick wall they could drive this train. Pretty damn far…
The Ninth Gate - seemed to start off good, had a lot of potential with Jonny Depp and Roman Polanski, then it went nowhere with the material and severely tanked.
Desperado Started off really entertaining and stylish (loved the bar shoot-out scene), and Antonio Banderas was actually watchable. Then by the halfway mark, all the interesting characters had been killed off. And the less said about the ‘ending’, the better.
Far and Away
Hated the ending. It could not have been any more contrived – the story would have been a great, sad movie if the bastard had just stayed dead.
The Way of the Gun
It starts off with great character introductions for Benicio del Toro and Ryan Phillippe stirring up trouble in front of a night club, and then showing how they need to sell blood and semen to get some cash. The kidnapping scene is also well-done. But then it just sort of degenerates by spending too much time on the uninteresting characters and really loses momentum.
Could’ve been so much better.
The Birdcage almost seems like two different movies. The first part is sharp, funny and quick-moving. Then when the dinner scene begins, the film drags unmercifully. What the HELL were they thinking with that one?
As for a real two-movies-within-one that also breaks down, see Full Metal Jacket. The first half, boot camp part is riveting – I can’t count the number of times I’ve watched it. Once (SPOILER****** I guess…)
Private Pyle blows his brains out and the opening chords of These Boots Were Made For Walking strikes up, I can’t hit the “Stop” button quick enough.
The Abyss (Theatrical version. I never saw the extended Director’s Cut)
Two hours of tension and mystery followed by 15 of the dumbest minutes I’ve even seen. Once Ed Harris started bitch-slapping his dead wife, and she recovered (just a flesh wound?), it was over for me. Then we got a montage of the climaxes of every benign-alien encounter flick since 2001: A Space Odyssey, followed by an embarassingly bad spaceship special effect.
Guarding Tess
It starts out as a light, cutesy “Driving Miss Daisy” type movie, and then she gets kidnapped and all of the sudden it turns into…I don’t know what. Totally threw me.
I thought Brave-uh, I mean the Patriot, began falling apart when the British showed up at his home. One of the slav-er, free black men, corrected the British officer and told him that they were already free men. That statement hit me like a slap in the face and it messed up a lot of the movie for me. It hindered my ability to suspend my disbelief.
Marc
The Mirror Has Two Faces
It starts out as exactly my kind of movie – two awkward, lonely people who find each other and fall in love. Very sweet and romantic. Then 2/3 of the way through, it turns into some kind of personal therapy session for Barbra Streisand, in which she gets to show just how glamorous she can make herself, and how shallow she really is.
I’ve often thought that I’d like to recommend that people see that movie, as long as they shut it off/walk out as soon as Jeff Bridges’ character leaves for Europe.
THE CONTENDER! THE CONTENDER! THE CONTENDER!
I have never ever EVER seen a movie fall apart this completely. The first half was remarkably strong.
And if the filmmakers aren’t done rubbing our noses in their pitiful agenda, at the end, we get the message:
“For our daughters” Awww, how noble.
That writer/director needs a serious beating. Even more so, considering he used to be a film critic.
The Keep. I think this one is almost famous for being really neat for five minutes (when the Nazis are driving up to the village in the mist and Tangerine Dream music setting the tone- all showing how Michael Mann is pretty good at setting mood) and then going downhill from there (showing Michael Mann still needed some work in his film-making ways). Probably the only reason I’ll watch the whole things these days is because Juergen Prochnow, Gabriel Byrne and Scott Glenn are some of my favorite actors and they all star in this dud. And if you want a good panning of the film, ask the book’s author, F. Paul Wilson. He tends to choose his words wisely for business reasons, but shows no mercy.
Aw, come on! One of the best parts of the movie comes after that.
“No boom-boom soul brother. Too beacoup, too beacoup(sp?)”
I have heard this criticism time and again, and it irritates me more every time. The people in the nightclub don’t turn into vampires, they already were vampires. The thieves have chosen a vampire nightclub to hide out in.
Swordfish
Opening sequence was fantastic. Otherwise, the movie was pretty sucks, tho full of eye candy and a few other interesting bits.
Stripes and Office Space have already been mentioned, and I wholeheartedly agree. Funny first acts after which the movie can be safely stopped.
Less hearty agreement with Hollow Man–I think the intelligence-drain among from the “scientists” (but oh dear lord yes, it reached forehead-smacking abysmal levels by the final act) was pretty much a steady decline throughout the film.
Actually, Full Metal Jacket loses it at the point right after they beat Pyle and he gets that “crazy” look and suddenly becomes a super-Marine (“Pyle, you are born again hard! I might even let you serve in my beloved Corps!”). The switch-over is totally unrealistic. Also, if he is suddenly so great as a Marine and/or psycho, why does he wait until he graduates to flip out?
Prior to that, it is absolutely riveting. How R. Lee Ermey doesn’t get an Academy Award is unfathomable.
The second half does have some additional good spots. The smack-talking between Joker and Cowboy’s company is hilarious. The speech by the General to Joker (“Get with the program son!”) is classic.
And does the commander of the Stars & Stripes unit remind anyone of Al Gore? Army journalist, Southern accent, tall and dark haired…
I happen to like the second as much as if not more than the first half. I can’t really explain why, except that the whole relationship between Joker and Cowboy really worked well for me and I wind up thinking the death of Cowboy is more tragic than Pyle’s. And I also like the little interludes in the second half like the stuff with the TV crew and the interviews. And I also like the fact that I can accept the Isle of Dogs as Vietnam (which probably shows how much I know about what Vietnam looks like).
And I do think that Ermy’s not getting at least an Oscar nomination is a kind of robbery, but then he wasn’t really acting. Scary.
And I thought I’d thow in another sentence starting with “and,” just to piss off people who say you shouldn’t start a sentence with a conjunction. But I won’t worry too much about it. Nor will I get carried away with it. So…
I’ve seen lots of movies that start out good and quickly go south, but the one that sticks in my mind is Company Business, a light-hearted spy thriller starring Gene Hackman and Mikhail Baryshnikov. Not a 4-star movie by any stretch of the imagination, but fun, definitely a good one to kill an afternoon with. Until they destroyed the whole movie in the last thirty seconds.
SPOILERS FOLLOW…(but trust me, if you read them I’ll be doing you a favor.)
Gene & Mikhail narrowly escape a shootout atop the Eiffel Tower. They hide out in a restaurant, one of them bleeding badly, while KGB & CIA surround them outside. “How are we going to get out of this?” Gene asks. “Wait, I have a plan!” says Mikhail. He calls someone on his cell phone and leaves a message saying, “So-and-so is working for the Americans.” Mikhail hangs up and says, “I hope he gets it.” They raise their glasses in a toast. And then…
Credits roll. That’s it, The End.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…even the worst possible ending is preferable to having NO ending!!
I might agree with you, Jeremy, but I’ve seen Revenge. Here is an ending worse than no ending.
SPOILERS FOR REVENGE
Kevin Coster has an affair with his rich Mexican friend (Anthony Quinn)'s wife. Quinn finds out, has them beaten and various other nasty things done to them I can’t recall–I refuse to see it again. Costner escapes, does some nasty things to the henchmen, and tracks Quinn down for a final confrontation. Any number of satisfactory endings could be played out. What do we get? Quinn asks for an apology. Costner apologizes.
I disagree, the first part was pretty heavy-handed, boring and a little too obvious (except for that great Rodney Dangerfield sequence). Only when they were in jail and the cameraman/reporter helped them escape did the movie become interesting to me. The ending was a real downer.