Movies You Didn't Expect to Suck So Bad

I finally got around to watching All That Jazz last night.

Now, I admit dance movies aren’t really my thing, but I’ve seen a few that I’ve actually liked over the years. All That Jazz doesn’t get talked about much these days, but it has a respectable reputation. At least, I’ve never heard anyone trash it. It was up for Best Picture of 1979.

So I watched it.

WTF???

It’s just a big disjointed jumble of sparkly costumed dance routines with Roy Scheider pissing and moaning and fucking and dying. Well, not so much fucking as complaining about how much he fucks and how his women don’t like it that he fucks so much.

The only saving grace about it was the child actress who played his daughter Michele. She managed not to be annoying which was an accomplishment in this movie.

Which movies have surprised you with their suckitude?

I thought Inglourious Basterds would be a lot better.

I was amazed at how much The Lovely Bones sucked

The Will Smith/Kenneth Branagh/Kevin Kline Wild Wild West was an astonishing pile of suck.

I think I chuckled once at The Hangover. Terrible, unfunny movie. Also, Diary of the Dead may be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.

OH thank GOD. I though I was the only one.

After enjoying the first one I was very disappointed in how much the second Pirates of the Caribbean sucked.

The Matrix sequels come to mind, and I hate it when they do that. So does Black Swan, which didn’t suck, but was nowhere near as good as I expected considering the director, the cast, and the buzz around it.

Agreed about The Hangover. Not only wasn’t it as funny as everyone said, it wasn’t funny. At all. It looked like it was right up my alley, but nope.

Joe

I’ll second your vote on All That Jazz. It definitely should be rated WTF-17.

[Expected Phantom Menace Post] The Phantom Menace [/Expected Phantom Menace Post]

The American. I have never seen an audience so uncomfortable. Suckzilla.

Will Smith in “7 Pounds”.I almost lost the will to live watching that steaming pile.

Second the Hangover. it was OKish, but it not the pinnacle of hilarity it was touted to be.

Inglourious Basterds was very uneven. Pitt was godawful in it. IMO the performance by Christoph Waltz saved it.

Wild Wild West - I loved the over the top nature of some of it, but Kevin Klein was underused in the film and, I just could not get over the notion of a dapper, free wheeling, smack talking black secret agent striding through the period just following the end of slavery. The utter weirdness of that conceit broke my ability to suspend disbelief.

Stranger Than Paradise.

Got a fabulous review when it came out, so a friend and I went to see it.

People all around us were laughing and we didn’t understand why. We sat through that whole damn movie waiting for the good part. That’s 89 minutes of my life I’ll never get back :mad:.

“Signs” with Mel Gibson was a disappointment.

In thinking about it a lot of Will Smith’s work leaves me underwhelmed. He’s in a lot of one of my favorite genres of action sci-fi, but other than Independence Day I can’t really think of a role he was all that great in. I can’t describe it well but it seems like the whole movie is often very much crafted around him, rather than him filling in the edges of the story.

You obviously haven’t seen Survival of the Dead

I second this. I heard so many great things and…ugh.

Requiem for a Dream. I was expecting something legitimately dark, not an Afterschool Special. “If you do drugs, you’ll get your arm ripped off and end up fucking for money in front of strangers, etc. etc!” So over-the-top I was laughing, which I’m sure wasn’t the intended reaction.

Top Gun. Missed it in the go-go 80s, and finally watched it last month.

Just awful. I was expecting a cheesy, All American action adventure. How could such a great cast make such a shit-pile of a movie?

And Stepbrothers. Again, love the actors, but I had to turn it off after 30 minutes because it was just so bad.

Good God that filmed sucked. It’s the only Living Dead movie I didn’t buy (& this coming from somebody with 4 different versions of Dawn of the Dead). I actually liked Diary better than Land, but nothing in the new trilogy really compares to the original trilogy.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I actually went to see An American Carol. :o So many minutes I’ll never get back.