Mr Asshole - Passport Control

The BBQ Pit
1

My wife, Washte has gone to the States because of a family emergency - Her dad is very ill.

After arriving in Cincinnati airport, she goes to passport control and meets Mr Asshole who checks her passport.

It’s a pretty normal US passport but for one thing: It has a little certificate type thing in it, issued by the UK’s immigration department, that says she can live here indefinately.

This seems to irritate and confuse Mr Asshole quite a bit, because he then questioned her for some time as to her reasons for visiting the country. At one point it looked like he was gonna make her fill in a visa waiver form. :rolleyes:

At this my wife started to lose her temper:

is pretty much what she said to him.

Mr Asshole let her in.

2

Now imagine the abuse people with foreign passports have to take from Mr Asshole and others like him.

3

Yup, US Customs people seem to be employed directly from the anger management preschool.

It’s always funny driving through the US canada boreder (peace arch). The Canadian guys are always nice and fiendly. While the US ones think you’re trying to smuggle Jimmy Hoffa back :confused:

4

Yea, reminds me of the time last November (…) when we were going down to Vermont for an Esperanto conference… this big Army guy who I suppose was filling in for the regular customs agent made the driver get out of the car and asked him where we were going… “To an Esperanto conference,” he said. Then he asked a passenger, separately, where we were going… “To a conference,” he said.

The guy went out of his mind and started screaming at us that we were giving contradictory answers (:rolleyes: ). It ended with, “Don’t play around with us! Don’t you know we’re at war?!”

Yes, but I didn’t think it was with Canada…

(Oh, and he was none too thrilled at having to deal with a (fluent English-speaking) Francophone, I have to say. Right, like that situation never comes up at the Quebec-Vermont border.)

5

It’s called an MP.

Give him the answer he wants.

Not:

<Same car>

Person 1 “Buisness meeting over the weekend.”
Person 2 “Visiting my relatives, P1 already had to drive down here, so I figured free ride!”
Person 3 “Gonna get laid! I figured P1 and P2 were already going down here, I’d invite myself along and crash at P1’s expense-account paid room”

</same car>

6

Customs officials…one of the few things that can work me up to the point where I invoke the :rolleyes: smiley.

I got stopped a couple of years ago in New York because the computer system said that my passport had been reported stolen. I was escorted to a back room, where I had the following exchange with an angry official:

Official: “Why did you report your passport stolen??”

Me: “I never did.”

Official: “Why did you report your passport stolen??”

Me: “I never did.”

Official: “Why did you report your passport stolen??”

Me (starting to get highly annoyed): “Er, I never did.”

After about 15 minutes of this pointless discussion, they let me go.

Another time (this was years prior to 9/11), an official opened my passport after a trip to France and said, “hmm, Mr. Kabong, why were you in Tunisia three years ago?”

Geez, well I was working on an oil rig, something I’ve done in several other countries as well…

Lest I be accused of being unfair, I had a UK customs official at Heathrow claim that I was trying to enter the country illegally because she could not find the exit stamp from the trip before (a year earlier) in my passport. She was flipping through it so fast that there was no way she would be able to read any of the stamps. I politely asked for the document and showed her the correct page. No apology was forthcoming, of course.

And I won’t even go into the bribes that at one time were demanded of passengers attempting to leave Angola.

Sounds like they did.

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Which, we suppose, we are each supposed to divine telepathically while we are separated from one another.

8

sailor: I’m a British passport holder and, with my colouring, have been mistaken for being Eastern European, Greek (by a Greek fella!), Spanish, Italian, Turkish, etc. (Most people who know me describe me as ‘foreign-looking’). I really enjoy passport control.

Washte just found it frustrating (to say the least) that the guy’s whole attitude changed when he saw that she was a UK resident. Once he saw that, he gave her the third degree as to why she was visiting her own fucking country.

I just think that an immigration official even considering the idea that a US citizen (even one who lives abroad) needs to complete a visa waiver form to enter the US is a bloody joke.

9

The Oregonian ran a series of articles on the INS run amok
Another link: http://www.oregonlive.com/ins/

I had the most terrifying experience a few year ago returning from China. I had been traveling for something like 30 hours without sleep when I arrived at the west coast. I was exhausted. Someone decided maybe I wa carrying drugs or something so they sent me for the secondary questioning. The whole thing was depressing. A young girl crying, a man lying on the floor sleeping, shackled to the row of seats by the ankle.

(At this point you need to know I do not carry a wallet. Just money in one pocket, documents in another etc)

So they call me and the guy says “Gimme your wallet” I start to ask what it is exatly he wants but i don’t get past the first word and he yells “Gimme your wallet! NOW!” As he kept yelling the same thing I emptied my pockets. The guy seemed out of control and very threatening. He disappeared with my stuff, including credit cards. I was made to wait for a couple of hours. I was thinking, since I had nothing to hide and everything was in order, as soon as they realised that i would be on my way but things went from bad to worse. I was taken, with my luggage, to a small room with the big guy. For several hours he yelled at me, threatened me, insulted me, humiliated me and generally scared the crap out of me. He would do the same thing: yell at me the same question repeatedly accusing me of doing illegal things and would get more and more annoyed when I did not admit to them. It was clear he was trying to break me down so I would confess to whatever I might have done. Except there was nothing to confess.

The most humiliating part, which I will never forget: he read very slowly and parsimoniously every last paper I had with me, and made derogatory comments and asked personal questions. I had recently broken up with my Chinese girlfriend and I had a bunch of love letters with me and photos. The son of a bitch read them all slowly, in front of me, making fun of them and of me. I have never been so humiliated and scared in my life and I hope he dies a horrible death some day.

After something like 8 hours, he let me go without further explanation or excuse. I have travelled to many countries and I have never had such an experience anywhere. Yes, I have been asked for bribes and such things but the only time in my life when I have been subjected to truly degrading and threatening treatment it was at the hands of the US customs.

The experience left me marked for a long time. Just an unexplainable bad feeling which took months to go away. Even now, years later, the thought that it could happen again scares the shit out of me.

The Oregonian articles tell of similar and worse stories. That is why, when people justify giving unlimited powers to the government because of terrorism, I object. The chances that I will be the victim of a terrorist attack are one in a billion but the chances that government employees will abuse their power on me are much, much higher and I prefer they have as little power as possible. There are too many people in law enforcement who would become torturers and even murderers if given the chance. I do not like being locked up in a small room with a big guy who has power of life and death over me.

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I was quite concerned he was going to ask me to do trhe visa waiver form - not that I have a reason to be worried or anything…

It just annoyed the bejeesus out of me.

Migra*: So. You are a US citizen but you live in the UK?
Me: Yes.
Migra: What do you do in the UK?
Me: Teach students with truancy issues.
Migra: And you couldn’t find a job teaching here in the US?
Me: My husband is English.
Migra: Oh. So what brings you back?
Me: My father is ill.
Migra: So you came all the way from the UK because your father is ill?
Me: Yes.
Migra: Blank stare, still holding my passport…
Me: My father has lung cancer.
Migra: Oh.
Me: Look. My father is dying. He’s throwing up blood. They’ve stopped radiation cos he’s too thin to take much more abuse. He’s covered in radiation sores. My family has basically asked me to come home and give my last respects. I’ve another plane to catch, a 3 hour wait then another plane before I can actually see him again. May I go now?
Migra: Enjoy your stay… (shoving my passport at me)

48 hours of travelling later I made it to where my folks live - jet lagged but here in one piece… finally.

*Migra = La Migra = immigration

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Sailor: Shit, pal. What an asshole (must be related to the guy in my OP).

Do the government actually do psychological screening for these nutters?

Washte: Hi minaw!

12

Sailor: Did you file a complaint, or anything like that? I can’t imagine it’s standard policy for that sort of stuff to occur!

13

I am a young, gay, goateed, somewhat scruffy-looking boy returning from Spain. Returning, let me say, with a large, suspicious-looking cardboard box.

And they just let me through. Just waved me through.

The guy right before the door that would have let me out of the airport in Montreal did ask me, What’s in the bag? So I told him, and he let me through.

They should have had me in the front seat for the Esperanto thing. I must have a very trustworthy face.

Or maybe it’s just a US customs thing, and Canadian and Dutch customs are nicer/politer/human. Dunno.

14

The worst time I ever had was coming back from England to the US. When trying to get on the plane I was traveling with my wife and a friend. The first person told us that only family members could go through together. Ok fine so the wife and I went though and my buddy went a different way.

The next asshole asked me a couple of questions, one of which as “do you have and weapons or anything that looks like a weapon?” So I told him I had a letter opener but that was to be put under the plane. Then he askes if there was “anyone else in my family traveling with us.” I said no. The guy who was talking to my friend came over and then they grilled me. They told me I was traveling with someone else and why did we split up? So I told him we were told to split up. Stupid pricks, can’t you even figure out how you want us to walk though the gates? Luckly they only kept us there for a few minutes and not all damn day.

15

I had a friend visit me for a few days from Panama. Upon arriving in the U.S., Customs searched everything she was bringing.

OK, fine.

They then proceeded to take her to a room and browbeat her for three hours.

“Where are the drugs? Just tell us. We know you have drugs.”

For three hours.

They made her cry. They made her miss her connecting flight.

I sat at an airport in Detroit FREAKING, not knowing what was going on.

Friend #2 is from Brazil. She’s a nurse there, and was coming to America (which, you may have heard, has a significant nurse shortage), to do a special work/study program at an Illinois hospital. She helps them out, while better learning English and American nursing techniques, then they (supposedly) help her get a work visa to stay.

Problem is, the assholes had her come to the U.S. on a tourist’s visa. (Probably because it’s easier to obtain.) She followed to the letter what the hospital in question told her to do, because she didn’t know any better. She made a mistake.

She flew 14 hours on a flight from Brazil to Chicago, where she was then taken to a room and detained for 7 hours. No food, no water, no phone calls. She was berated and threatened with jail, by two customs agents who apparently were taking glee in the fact that she didn’t understand their English very well.

She also cried.

After 7 hours of detainment in a windowless room, following a 14-hour flight, she was immediately placed on a flight back to Brazil for another 14-hour flight.

She now has a stamp in her visa accusing her of attempting a fraudulent entry. Her dream of coming to live and work in the U.S. is, at the very least, put off for several years. If she wants to fight this ruling, it will likely involve attorneys and money that she doesn’t have.

I can rattle off about five similar stories, involving other friends from other countries.

The U.S. can’t catch terrorists or drug traffickers. So, instead, to appear diligent, they are difficult and rude to legitimate visitors.

Don’t get me started on this subject. I’ll go awhile.

Any advances in recognition technology at U.S. borders I am for. So that this kind of bullshit can be lessened, or stopped altogether.

16

The INS can get away with such abuse because they deal with foreigners who have much to lose by complaining and mostly just take it. Ocasionally the IRS will abuse an American citizen or a foreigner with connections and then they catch some flak but mostly they are out of any control as the Oregonian articles show.

A couple years ago they stopped in NY some guy who was in transit from Mexico to Spain, just changing planes. For some reason they picked on him and gave him the third degree when not only was he not trying to enter the country, he was trying to leave it. Later it turned out the guy was some artist who had performed at the White House and had some connections. The Spanish embassy presented some protest and the US excused itself and the thing was buried. I suppose for a while they were a bit more careful but you can see most people endure the abuse without recourse.

Such actions do nothing to control terrorists or other bad guys and just discourage people who visit the US for holidays or other valid reasons. I know a number of people who visit the US to get health care. Every one of those persons brings a lot of money into the country as do tourists and discouraging that is not what you want to do. OTOH terrorists are not going to be put of by an extra hurdle and the Mexican worker will just cross illegally rather than endure the trouble. The whole thing is a big waste of time.

17

Washte
First, remember there is a distinction between passport control and customs. The Customs people can, in fact, make your life miserable if even if you are a U.S. citizen. The passport control people ** can’t **.

If you are a U.S. citizen, you have an absolute right to enter the U.S. Period. Mr. Passport Officer is simply satisfying his personal curiosity if he does anything apart from verify that you hold a U.S. passport.

In other words, you don’t have to answer nuthin 'bout nuthin.

I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a good idea idea to tell any law enforcement officer, even an immigration officer, to get stuffed. But it’s nice to know that you can. At the least, I’d tell the guy something like, “I’m a very tired and very upset U.S. citizen with a U.S. passport. I’m not going to discuss my family or anything else with you. Now, either let me in or get your supervisor over here RIGHT NOW and explain to both of us exactly what the problem is.”

18

luckily my wife has never had a real bad time entering the US. The one time we were sent to another room was a 5 minute formality. Although, the immigration guy who was nice to Chinawife, 1 year old China bambina and I, was an abusive sumbitch to another Chinese guy who I talked with on my flight.

Immigration guy using slang to give confusing directions on where to put his passport. I translated it into Chinese for the guy and hopefully that was the worst of the abuse he was to suffer that day after a 15 hour flight.

I have always accompanied by Chinese passport holding green card carrying wife to the US specifically because I don’t want her shunted off to some room and abused. I’ve certainly participated in my fair share of pit threads reviling those fucking bastards at the INS.

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>> If you are a U.S. citizen, you have an absolute right to enter the U.S. Period

True. OTOH, the Immigration guy just says the passport looks counterfeit to him and you are stuck. From the Oregonian: "INS inspectors at Portland International Airport later learned the passport held by Guo Liming was legal and authentic, but not until after they forced Guo to strip to her underwear, searched her and then jailed her for two nights. "

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Washte, I have no stories of abusive customs agents or personnel to relate in this thread. All I can say is that when I read about your experience, I can imagine how you must have felt. (angry, and annoyed to the max) Hopefully, when you go back to the UK, things will be easier for you. I’m sorry to hear about your dad, as well. Let us know how things go.

F_X