Mr Asshole - Passport Control

[Coldfire]

Try getting into Malaysia, on a boat from Singapore, carrying a Dutch passport.

The Customs/Passport people (no real disitinction, apparently) board the ship, and check people one-by-one before they let them off.

So when it was my turn, I put down my bag, and handed over my passport. Upon seeing my counry of origin, the immigration officer’s eyes widened.

“Where ah drogs?”, he demanded.

I asked him to repeat that, upon which it became apparent that the gentleman in question was convinced I was carrying drugs. Remember: I just came from Singa “one joint and we’ll hang you” pore. I told him I didn’t have any drugs.

“Yes. Yes you hav drogs. Dog sniffed your bag.”

The trusty German shepherd had in fact been sleeping on the back deck of the boat all along, and hadn’t been near my bag.

“Look, just search my bag, I assure there’s nothing suspect in there”, I told him.

Upon which mr Asshole and his colleague scrutinized my bag to the very last detail. When they found a pack of paracetamol, they were glowing with triumph. “A-HA!! This drogs. This XTC”.

I sighed, and explained paracetamol was an over-the-counter painkiller for headaches. Nothing illegal about it.

“But you can’t buy here. Can’t bring here. Dog sniffed it”

“Well, keep the damn box, then”, I said. I wasn’t gonna waste any more time over a $3 box of painkillers.

They confiscated it, and let me through.

Pretty mild, compared to the rest of the stories here, but I’ve learned what sort of stereotypes my nationality triggers within the lowly educated border guards of the world.

[Truth_Seeker]

**He also has the power and the authority to go all over your luggage and your person and he will do it if he feels like it.

**
That’s exactly my point. He doesn’t have the power to do that. The customs service does, but passport control doesn’t. (It does seem that at some smaller boarder crossings, there’ll be one officer with both functions, though I’ve never seen this in the U.S.) I quote from the INS website:

**If you are a U.S. citizen, the inspector will ask you for your passport, verify your citizenship, and then welcome you back to the United States. You will then proceed to the Customs inspection area.

If you are an alien, the Immigration Inspector must determine why you are coming to the United States, what documents you may require, if you have those documents, and how long you should be allowed to initially stay in the United States. These determinations usually take less than one minute to make. If you are allowed to proceed, the Inspector will stamp your passport and issue a completed Form I-94 to you. A completed form will show what immigration classification you were given and how long you are allowed to stay. You will then be permitted to proceed to Customs.

**

Interestingly enough, the there’s also this provision for “delayed inspection,” which I’ve never heard of.

**In certain instances, the inspector may not be able to decide if you should be allowed into the United States. In this case, your inspection may be deferred (postponed), and you will be instructed to go to another INS office located near your intended destination in the United States for further processing.

**

http://www.ins.usdoj.gov/graphics/howdoi/legadmit.htm

My point here is that if you’re a U.S. citizen, you have an absolute legal right to enter the U.S. If some yahoo decides to play East German border guard, you have a sacred duty to fight back if you are articulate and knowledgable enough to do so. Be firm. Demand to see a supervisor. Call your lawyer on your cell phone. Refuse to answer unreasonable questions. Make them explain the problem. Hold their feet to the fire and make them do their jobs. When it is all over, complain, in writing, and force whoever did this to at least go through the hassle of justifying themselves in writing. Complaints will, of course, also go in individual personnel files.

[irae]

I’ll be ‘The Revenge of Washte’, Kal. It’s a small thing, but I can’t wait to hand over my passport when I return to the US next week. It’s a replacement for one that I lost years ago, so the expiration date on the information page is for '95 sometime, and there’s a note to see page 22. I’ve had pages added twice, for a total of 98, so the thing looks like a novel, but page 22 is still the last one. Then the poor sod has to find the real expiration date (it’s on page ‘C’). To top it all off, the cover is green! Luckily, I won’t be in a hurry, and will be able to savor the memory of the aroma of burning hair and the sound of grinding mental gears as I sit, shivering and naked, in a holding cell somewhere.

[Abe_Babe]

So, ummmm, Coldfire do you thing you can score me some of that paramecium stuff. Sounds like some good shit, man.

[Kal]

irae: I look forward to hearing about what happens to you. Be scared if they mention that they’ll be searching you using the ‘muppet’ method.