Fenris was cleaning his basement when what should he discover but one of dear Judith Martin’s tomes on manners. Fenris was charmed by Miss Manner’s prose style, and struck by inspiration decided to use it to post a guide (loosely appropriated from one of Miss Manner’s columns) to posts that should never be made on the SDMB. Thus, Mr. Manners was born.
While writing posts for the SDMB is an excellent way to improve one’s writing and debate skills, as well as a way to make new friends, some posts should never be written, or, if written, discarded before posting.
Any post that begins with “Never in my life have I been subjected to such terrible treatment as I was in this thread…” should be reconsidered as it’s a sign that one is not to be taken seriously. If an insult on a message board (even one as esteemed as the SDMB) is truly the worst treatment one has ever experienced, one can count one’s self as fortunate.
Any post that explains God’s feelings on a matter and how those feelings happen to coincide with the poster’s should be looked at a second time and reconsidered. If, after reconsideration one decides that the post is well-reasoned, one must look for the presence of the phrase “and so, all of you who disagree with me are going to Hell…” Should one find it, the post should be discarded as hopeless.
Should one wish to criticize a Moderator or an Admin as a result of a decision in they made in the line of duty, it would behoove one to do so in e-mail, with someone of a higher rank (an Admin for a Mod’s perceived misbehavior, for example). If one can’t bear to take it to e-mail, or the misbehavior was so egregious that one demands public justice, be polite. Mr. Manners cannot stress this enough. Even if one was called “a mindless flecher of yaks who’s posting left such a trail of stench that it could be smelled two forums over” by a Mod in their line of duty, it behooves one to politely ask (in the Pit, please) "Could you please explain why my sainted grandmother’s recipe for quince jam prompted such a comment as this? [sub](here one must put a link to the offending comment, lest one be considered frivolous.)[/sub] “I felt it inappropriate but would like your perspective on this so as to clear up any misunderstandings.” By way of contrast, consider this example “You suk! All mods are Nazis and your the worst! I’ve never been so humiliated in my entire life!!!”
Punctuation and spelling are important but not crucial as long as one is able to make one’s self understood. However, the grammar flame post is one to consider in the most exacting detail, keeping in mind three things:[ul]
[li]First: Is the target of my post so incoherent as to bring discussion in any given thread to a complete halt? Or are they just spelling “receive” as “recieve” which bugs me lots?[/li][li]Second: Remember the adage “Judge not, lest ye be judged by the same measure”? Unless one’s spelling/grammar has traditionally been above reproach, reconsider, lest someone respond with “Pot, Kettle? Black! :rolleyes:” whereupon the entire thread will collapse.[/li][li]Third: Gaudere’s law will affect you: are you prepared to take barbs about your own spelling and grammar with good humor and grace?[/li][/ul]
Before one posts about an incident/person in one’s real life, one should consider what one will say if that person discovers the post. No one is truly anonymous.
Group insults alienate large chunks of one’s audience. Which is more likely to garner sympathy and approbation? “All Metalheads are stupid fuckhats and cocknostrils!” or “I hate this aspect of Metal culture!” Remember that groups are made up of people, and the point of a rant or a debate is to win people to one’s side. Any post that begins with “All (group) suck” or variations thereof, must be reconsidered. (Notable exceptions to this are hate-groups: Nazis, Klansmen and the like. Anyone trying to associate mainstream groups like Republicans, Democrats, Mac Users, PC Users, Gay or Straight people, Americans, Canadians or Metalheads (to list only several) with this sort of hate-group has already lost the argument, though they may not know it yet.)
Threats are never tolerated, and even threats in jest between friends may be looked at askance.
The “Flame Me, I Suk” post, unless accompanied by a true tale of one’s misdoings that one sincerely regrets is simply looked upon as a sad plea for attention. Desperation is never pretty.
If one is going to burst into flames about a comment someone you like made, on behalf of the respect you held for the poster, reconsider and wait ten minutes minimum before responding. Perhaps the good one-liner you thought of will be used by someone (probably SPOOFE), but at least your friendship won’t be gone as a result of a misunderstanding. (Mr. Manners has had personal experience with this mistake, to his regret.)
Finally, in response to a post such as this where suggestions are being offered for one’s consideration, responses such as “You’re not the boss of me” or “I can post whatever I want! Your not a mod!” are always considered as humor. Regardless of whether they’re intended as such.
Sincerely,
Mr. Manners
