For some reason, my mind just flashed to "The Never-Ending Sacrifice
Part 1 is 29 minutes
Part 2 is 38 minutes
Total: 67 minutes
Running time of Star Trek 2009 is 127 minutes.
Now this is a review I can get behind!
The Star Wars review was great and insightful - this was just awfully, awfully padded. I didn’t finish it.
Actually it would be like ending up at West Point if your dad was a famous general/war hero. And there is some reason to believe you are smart. Happens all the time. Finished part one, need to do part 2 later.
Also, in times of war, young officers occasionally found themselves promoted much faster than usual. George Custer was a Major General at 23, I think, and Douglas MacArthur’s father was a Colonel in command of a brigade at 18. Neither of them, incidentally, saved the entire planet.
How easy is it to dodge on this one? On the last Star Wars review (Ep 2), the serial killer schtick was always conveniently placed at the end of the video segments, so you could skip it pretty easily. I don’t know if I can handle one of his reviews of a movie I actually liked if I have to put up with the tedious “whores in the basement” segments.
I don’t recall them being quite as intrusive and annoying as in the Star Wars review – mostly just a brief flash here and there (like a ~1 second allusion type of deal). In fact, I thought the Star Trek review spent a lot more time actually reviewing the movie (with the odd side-rant here and there, though still tangentially related to the subject matter) than the Star Wars one, so I actually have the opposite feeling of what Zsofia stated (I had a difficult time sitting through the entire Star Wars one, whereas this Star Trek review kept me interested the entire time, precisely because so much time was devoted to the prostitute in his cellar during the Clones review).
There’s the odd mention here and there, nothing drawn out like the Ep2 review. Mostly he’s worried about his first cat coming back from the dead.
So, you didn’t get up and get a sandwich while he was tediously explaining the entertainment options we now have, or how many remakes there are these days, or why a movie has to make a lot of money in a hurry? Because, yaaaawn.
Sure, but in this case, isn’t Kirk promoted after the crisis has passed?
I guess that’s where we differ. I found those bits amusing and relevant in the discussion – and the side commentary of the industry as a whole is why I preferred it to picking apart Ep 2 in relative isolation. Not that those bits were terribly original criticisms or that it hasn’t all been said already, but I think it bears repeating. Your mileage obviously did vary though 
Hey, wait a minute…
It doesn’t say ‘I will not rest until I see you prosecuted for my murder.’
It’s a bunch of penguins! Bloody liar!
O.K., that incredibly long list ended on what was for me the best laugh of the entire 67 minutes. To have such a long ridiculous list building and building culminating with . . .
the zoo.
Not being sarcastic here, that was a really good laugh.
Mmm, different strokes, I guess.
I found the review more entertaining than the film. I liked the film.
I hate that guy. That voice is not funny, it is just annoying.
Another one who loved it, but who did despair slightly of the length of the review (as pointed out, about half the length of the actual film).
I liked both and found that the time just flew past watching either.
Consider yourself lucky, his Phantom Menace review IS the same length as the film (and pretty awesome, too)