Mr. Shoe is in the hospital

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
502

He was much more alert today. They’re very *very *slowly dialing back his oxygen and PEEP levels, and he’s tolerating that nicely. Another shampoo today, too; aw, he smelled so nice. :slight_smile: Plus, two of his friends came by in the afternoon - he hasn’t seen them since all this started and I heard that he perked right up - and then his godfather visited this evening. So he’s had some fresh faces and voices, at least. The nurse said his pressure sore is healing up and is much smaller, and so far so good, more or less, with his kidneys.

He got two units of blood today, too, which I swear plumps him up - in a good way - like watering a neglected plant.

I called my doctor yesterday afternoon; I really felt like I was going to have a friggin’ heart attack and keel right over, although from reading (mostly here) about the signs a tiny part of my brain could tell rationally that I was having a panic attack and wasn’t simply about to die. My doc prescribed a low dose of Xanax. I picked it up this evening (less than $3 for fifteen pills?!? Holy insurance, batman!) but having heard ever so many bad things about benzos I’d much rather just not start down that road. I’m hoping that just knowing that I have them, that I *have *an option, might keep me calmer. Who knows. I took a long-ass walk late last night to burn off some anxiety, so I have some nicely-deserved tired calves tonight. Oooh … between wandering my neighborhood for an hour and the hours-long elevated heart rate: did I get a nice cardio workout?

Man, I hope that was his last bronch last weekend. I really, really do.

Good night, everyone. Oh, and Paypallers: I finally told him about it tonight; I don’t know why but I’d been putting it off. I wish you all could have seen his face. Imagine about 60% disbelief and 40% of something that sorta approached “Well, I guess humanity doesn’t suck after all.” For him to realize that what are to him basically imaginary figments of my imagination are sending real live dollars was … I dunno, he was pretty incredulous. So thank you, all of you, for giving him one last thing to smile about after a day of pretty good times.

503

Someone needs to tell me how the PayPal thing works. I’ve the email… Now what?

504

Go to your pay pal account and click on the send money tab up the top (going from memory here so bear with me)
you will get an opting to put in an email (cut and paste said email) send. I clicked on the save recipient buttons cos when I gots more moula I intend to send more. something like that

505

Thanks!

506

You’ll have to set up up a source for funds, also - can be a credit card or your bank account. Credit card is easy, bank account may require a day or so to do some verification transactions (or maybe not, it’s been years since I set this up).

507

Panic attack? Why, are you under some stress or something? :wink:

In all seriousness: yep, just knowing you have pharmaceutical help if you need it can be amazingly good for your mindset; I keep a small supply of sleeping pills handy and have a similar reaction. I so rarely use one, but the thought that if I’m having a truly bad night, I can take one, eliminates the whole fret/insomnia/more fretting/more insomnia feedback loop. We’ve had similar reactions when prescribed narcotics for something painful: might not necessarily need that level of Big Guns, but the fact that they’re there I think reduces the body’s stress level and reduces the need for the stuff.

That walk was the best thing you coulda done for yourself. It’s amazing how good “real” fatigue (from physical exertion) feels compared with the kind of emotional exhaustion you have been dealing with for weeks. Plus those endorphins must be a nice kick too.

Hang in there. Sounds like Schmoopie is finally getting a little better almost every day. Yay!!!

508

Whaddya mean? I figured this was all imaginary fake money! :slight_smile:

Thanks. I did feel a bit silly later - I mean, I hadn’t *just *gotten any new bad news or anything, we’ve been through worse drops on this roller coaster already, so why now? I’ve been kinda numb through a lot of this, and, I dunno, maybe my nervous system just went and abruptly threw its little nervy hands into the air and yelled, “You know what? Fuck this shit!”

Frankly, I concur. I feel for ya, nervy little nervous system. I just coulda done without being able to see my pulse in the mirror.

Ha. I expected someone to berate me, a single woman, for walking around late at night alone. Frankly, the mood I was in, if someone had tried to mess with me my reaction would have been much less “Oh noes!” and far more “Bring it, bitch!” I think I understand how angry dudes get into bar fights now.

This is a pretty safe and close-knit residential area, house after house on little-bitty side streets. I did walk past a few people walking their dogs or having a late-night smoke on the porch, so I guess if I’d screamed someone would have heard … Ah, hell, now that I brought it up someone will tsk-tsk at me here, I’m sure.

Eh. Don’t go all crazy on me now with that whole hope thing. They took him out for a C-T scan this afternoon - lung lesions look a bit better, lungs overall look worse due to inflammation - but in general he just seems so … off all day today. His nurse had noticed it, and while we were discussing it outside his room one of the other nurses (they’ve pretty much all cared for him at this point) came over all, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be eavesdropping, but I noticed too!” He’s agitated, and comes in and out of lucidity rapidly in kind of a weird way. The prez debate was on the TV, and he’d go from scanning the room relentlessly, to concentrating on the TV and smiling at a few moments where the candidates tried to talk right over the moderator or said something he found particularly asinine. Then he’d … just start looking around the room, looking for something but couldn’t tell us what, reaching out aimlessly at nothing in particular, scratching restlessly at his belly and his collarbone, staring blankly at the ceiling for a moment and then back to scanning around the room. Looking around, looking everywhere, scanning like a hungry predator. (One who can’t quiiiite focus his eyes just perfectly.)

He’s on a fentanyldrip. The nurses said that’s making him loopy, and that they’d given him Benadryl last night to help with the itching and to help him sleep and that since it helped last night they’d probably do the same tonight.

509

Fentanyl can make you loopy/agitated/angsty. Also, in my experience, although not in the drug books, it can make people angry. Just a heads up. The effects wear off in a day or so when you stop the drug, but I’ve been warned by more than one experienced nurse that when you turn down the drip so they wake up, you should be prepared to duck in case they throw a punch at you.

510

Don’t underestimate the effects of Fentanyl. That stuff can make a person incredibly loopy. My mom was once prescribed Fentanyl patches for rheumatoid arthritis (almost certainly a lower dose than you’d get in the hospital), and we were worried she’d suffered from some kind of rapid-onset Alzheimer’s, she was so out of it.

511

I find that I fall apart after the stress is over. When everything gets better, I get a migraine.

512

Hit me with your Paypal please. I can swing a little Friday. Thanks.

513

Thank you. I’ll come prepared. :wink: I understand why they do it, but it sort of amuses me that all his other drug IV bags are just hanging there, but the fentanyl is hanging suspended in a locked acrylic box, like the condoms and razor blades at the drugstore.

Off to go see how he’s doing in a minute. This is one of the worst parts of all this: I never know what I’m about to walk into. Is he drugged out? Blissfully napping? Awake and cheerful? Depressed? Hallucinating? Roll the dice, get in the car, and find out!

514

Ah. Apprently we’re going with “mostly cheerful but loopy as hell” this morning. The resp. tech schlucked a whole lotta crud out after his vest percussion treatment. They’re still verrrrry cautiously dialing back the PEEP and overal oxygen levels, and so far he’s tolerating that pretty well.

515

purplehorseshoe - What are his numbers? (Not that I know what they mean - the analyst in me just likes to have data.)

StG

516

He was IIRC 43 % oxygen and 8 PEEP. I’ll see him in a couple hours - I’ll re-post then.

517

Just checking in with good wishes. I feel like I haven’t posted for a few days in this thread…and that would be, well, wrong.

-D/a

518

40% oxygen and 7 on the PEEP this afternoon. While I was in there, his resp. tech du jour - a gray-haired older fella who likes to fish on his off days - dialed it back to 35%. But Shoe’s blood oxygen count went down to 91* a few minutes later so the tech dialed him back to 40, and seemed satisfied with that for now, said it was still an OK level for him.

Shoe’s less agitated today overall. I know why now: he’d been given Xanax 2x daily, and his nurse told me that now he’s receiving 1 mg 4x daily. Now I really hope I don’t have to take the ones I was given, since going through benzo withdrawal together is not my idea of a romantic couple’s event. :smiley:

Kidney doc came by earlier when I was at work, and the report from that end is that Shoe’s kidneys are doing OK still, and that his white blood count is way down - which is a good thing, I’ve learned, as a high white count indicates infection.

Oh, and one of Shoe’s buddies from work can’t come visit him. (Recent heart surgery - not allowed to set foot in infectious-type places for a year.) So, he made a video of himself “visiting” and sent it over to his phone. Even better, he took the camera to Shoe’s work and videotaped some of the others there saying their good wishes. Ain’t technology sumthin’?
*The blood oxygen sensor reminds me of my parents’ attitudes about grades when I was in school: 98, 99, 100? Great! 91 or 92? Oooh … we’re not happy. 89 or below? We haz a problem.

519

I’m still checking this thread every day. And praying for both of you every day.

TOS’s work buddy sounds awesome, what a thoughtful person.

Do you think that TOS would like postcards? Postcards are easier to find than regional “get well cards”, and they have pretty local pics.

Of course, you do know that if you say TOS would like them, the post office will get a big boost in revenue because most people don’t have postcard stamps so will use regular postage for them. Its a win-win all around.

Stores world wide will see an increase in sales, the post offices will get extra money, and you will get extra smiles from TOS to share with us.

Quick, someone post after me!

520

AND…done. :wink:

521

This is exactly me.