Late January seems like a long way to go…but it’s SO much better than what you’ve been dealing with! And day passes? Awesome!
Do you think he’ll be in a chair, or walking (with a walker, perhaps)? You might want to scout placed he’ll want to go and see if there are any accessibility issues.
My friend at work…the one recently back from fighting cancer…is a regular with a few of us at our favorite Sushi place. The day he showed back up…well, let’s just say the wait staff was full of smiles. I think that was good for him, too.
-D/a
Can’t find the post now, but to whoever upstream mentioned trimming/shaving his head when his hair started falling out … he came to that conclusion himself and is sporting a new buzz. I brought him biotin supplements, and I swear, his hair is coming in faster (not necessarily b/c of the biotin but I like to think it’s helping). When he was trimming off his hair last weekend the guard came loose and he got right up to the skin in one little patch. Three days later and I can’t even tell where that patch was anymore.
Oh, and he noticed last night that his lower legs aren’t so skinny anymore. They were so thin, his shin bone so sharp through his skin … not anymore! He’s putting some muscle back on!
Your post in the influenza vaccine thread reminded me: might want to check with his docs and see if there’s anything else *you *(and maybe his mom and dad) can be vaccinated for before he comes home. (Making sure that you only make choices for dead vaccines, so you’re not accidentally shedding any virus around him, of course.) Not bringing an active infection home to him is one small thing you can do to keep his recovery moving in the right direction.
Hmmmm … I’ll ask about that. We’re both *way *overdue for our respective tetanus boosters (in fact, we were talking about that last summer when plans to tear down and re-build the shed were still underway – rusty old nails and all that!) so I’ll try to remember (HA!) to ask about boosters and other shots.
This is not in any way directed to posters here, it’s for IRL people but I have nowhere else to rant, so:
The next person who tells me how strong I am and how well I’ve been coping will be the person for whom I need to find a place to hide bodies. My trichotillomaniahas roared into full force, and yet every time his aunt sees me she comments on how full and shiny and pretty my hair looks. Every. Time. Even when it’s been braided all day and is fuzzy and frizzy and half-pulled out of the braid (see link) after a full goddamn day at work.
NO I’m not strong - I just have a stoic face! (German engineer for a father, and all that … ) Why does everyone tell me how strong and brave I’ve been (or am being … ) when I feel like a brittle, crumbling shard inside? I’m not falling apart; I’ve fallen apart a million zillion times already. There’s nothing left to fall apart again … until, oh look! it does.
hugs Telling people they’re strong or brave when going through stuff like this always bothers me too. Most people going through severe medical problems are, guess what, normal people who’ve had a pile of shit dumped in their laps. Not superheroes. And really, “you’re handling it so well” just amounts to “you’re really good at lying about it in public”. Or worse yet, “I’m judging your performance as a way-stressed-out-person. Congratulations, so far I approve.” I wish I had a witty reply or two that you could toss back at people like that, but I don’t.
Just a warning in case you haven’t gotten thwacked over the head with it already - now that Mr. Shoe is officially out of danger all the feelings that you’ve been pushing aside in order to deal with the situation may come rushing back in. Don’t be shocked if you feel worse for a while here. It’s a good sign - it means your brain is no longer in emergency mode and can now turn to the task of processing feelings, which is somewhat lower on the list o’ survival. It feels hella nasty, but it will pass.
Yeah Purple, none of us are really strong. We are all just facing what we have to face, because we can see no other viable choice.
Nietzchhe claimed that which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. So you’re going to be strong even if you aren’t now. But you certainly are working on it. And that’s why we are here for you and you for us.
Yeesh. For what it’s worth, they really do mean well.
Don’t plan on hiding bodies. Sooner or later they’d catch you and put you in jail. Instead, just view them as sources for hair to pull out in order to save your own. Look at all those hair-covered heads, just BEGGING to be yanked out. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt not you anyway, so you can grab whole HANDSFUL at one go. Think of all the stress that will relieve.
Then you can take it all home, spray it silver, and decorate the Christmas tree with it.
It’s hard to tell the difference between “being strong” and “putting up a good front”. It’s a bit like bravery - I’m not brave…I just hide my fear well!
Can I say “You seem to be doing ok, given everything you’re going through…”?
The good news…we’re always here for you to rant to! And we (well, most of us…) don’t take offense easily.
Just smile and say “Thank you”. I have trichotillomania too; I understand.