Lemme splain: I was looking for workout gloves (I’m a gymrat now. No, really, I am - it’s kinda freakish and hard to believe, but I swear. For months now…blood pressure’s dropped 30 points, I could probably kick your ass a little bit.) and I saw on ebay something touted as better for certain lifts than workout gloves. “Power Grips”, designed by Mr. Universe/Mr. America/Mr. I Got Big Goddamn Muscles and I’ve Got Plenty of Awards to Prove It Guy Joe Meeko. They looked handy. Dare I say dandy. I order them. They arrive with astonishing speed.
I greedily rip open the package (I love packages…“Stuff! I have New Stuff!”) and what should tumble out along with the Power Grips, (which are, in fact, both handy AND dandy) but a goddamn Chick Tract!!
Oh man… you got fucking Chick Cooties all over my handy dandy new workout stuff! EW!! And worst of all, I GAVE YOU MONEY!!! DOUBLE EW~!!!
Now I have to feel guilt and shame for being complicit in the spread of Chick Cooties every time I do my lat pulldowns.
I’m going go out on a limb, here: I’m generally a tolerant person, but I gotta say anyone who maturbates to a Chick tract is one sick fuck. I’ve heard of a lot of perversions on the internet, but that takes the cake!
It happened to me once too. I bought a video game, and along with it came a Chick Tract. :mad: Hurray for the feedback system. I actually put “Received video game, but did not appreciate religious spam enclosed” I couldn’t get the Chick Tract cooties off my game, but at least people looking up his feedback could avoid him if they didn’t want to be spamed too.
I hear some guys find Little Susie quite attractive. :dubious:
Was the tract sealed in the original packaging with the grips, or in the packing provided by the eBay seller? I’ve had at least one eBay seller include religious material with his merchandise (though nothing as odious as a Chick tract.)
In either case, I agree that some sort of purification ceremony is in order.
I would imagine it was slipped into the package by a member of staff by their own decision, rather than included as a matter of company policy. I know that I have seen instructions to the effect that Christians working in packaging jobs should try to insert such material - not sure whereabouts I read it though.
The line where the lawyer says, “We’ll settle this–on our knees!” (to which one almost involuntarily adds, “. . . bitch!”) always gives me a little bit of a stiffie.
I bought a bilingual Bible (KKJV–Korean King James Version) here a couple of months ago because I needed a Bible with Korean in parallel with English and a KJV one also. So, I was thrilled to see the bilingual one! The box it was packed in had some literature in it, including a catalog for Chick tracts in Korean. Scary.
