I didn’t know MTV ever went off the air, but here it is, broadcasting a color test and treating my ears to a “BEEEEEEEEP.” Why aren’t they using this valuable half-hour to broadcast yet another episode of “Undressed”? Or “Cribs”? Or, God forbid, actual videos?
I’m sorry to inform you of this, but after a 48 hour “Real World” and “Road Rules” marathon the network suffered “Banality Critical Mass”.
The sheer weight and density of triviality ruptured the fabric of time and space, compacting the whole of MTV’s Manhattan office building into a tiny marble-sized mass, the density of which is said to be so amazing that a teaspoon sized amount would weigh as much as an aircraft carrier.
Scientists observing the phenomenon from the safety of a concrete bunker said that the event was triggered when a ninteen year-old member of the cast of “The Real World” started crying because a male house member had touched her while she was “feeling fat”.
“There was a tremendous shudder, a discharge of temporal energy, then the whole network just folded into itself. It was amazing!” claimed Dirk Heanie, particle physicist for Lawrance Livermore Laboratory. “I saw Carson Daley sucked right into the event horizon!”
Scientists say that, while this event is uncommon, it’s not unprecedented.
“There was an isolated incident during taping of an episode of “MTV’s Cribs”. A wormhole opened as the rapper Nelly was pointing out the gold-plated rims on his six SUV’s. Nelly, nor any of the camera crew survived”.
Ha! That’s nothing new. He’s been sucking for years.
Your local cable provider has had enough. They’ve yanked the wankers.
Small loss.
Or none.
Now, I know THAT’S not true. If Nelly were REALLY dead, then MTV would have taken that half-hour it was off the air to play that “Ride Wit’ Me” video of his over and over and over …
Yep. With a touching moment of silence at the end where they show him throwing a gang sign in slow-motion and 1982-2002 below it. Maybe a MTV news segment with that black VJ with the… er, unique taste in headgear.
I’m sitting here breathing a sigh of relief because I don’t understand all of the MTV references being made. Thats right, I am moving away from the abyss.
Inky, that first post was Onion caliber material. 