Wasn’t that a song by the Knack?
Phil Collins once invited a guy to one of his concerts. When Phil started performing “In the Air Tonight,” the guy really enjoyed it.
In a closed off studio, Stanley Kubrick, using sophisticated photographic equipment and state of the art special effects, created footage of men landing on the moon. He then used that footage in his movie “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
When calculating for an updated calendar, it was found that there was a missing day. Oct 14th had fallen off the table and rolled under the couch.
Ancient Mayans predicted the end of civilization in the year 2012. This prediction was, for them, about 600 years too late.
This thread is hilarious.
The snopes page is marking as “false” the idea that the woman randomly found a severed finger in her food. The true aspect is that she planted the severed finger herself, in order to sue Wendy’s.
:smack: (Do 5% of shark attacks happen without a shark?)
Well, yeah. The other 5% are carried out by lawyers.
That seems like an awfully low percentage.
It’s skewed only to those cases involving moral fiber.
Like many of us, Stephen Hawking went to school as a child.
I just started a thread about this (sort of - it’s about Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, although it does say “George H.W. Bush” by mistake) over in Great Debates.
I am of the opinion that, assuming Obama is elected in 2012, he is Constitutionally ineligible to be elected President as of noon EST, January 20, 2017 - nothing prohibits him from being elected VP and then becoming President that way. (Check out my other thread before you say that the 12th and 22nd Amendments do.)
Mathematician and science historian Otto Neugebauer tells the story of the young Albert Einstein, who was slow to develop speech. One night Einstein suddenly spoke up to complain, “The soup is too hot.” Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before and Einstein replied, “Because up to now everything was in order.”
Since Neugebauer never offered a source for his story and since it is the punchline to an old joke, the anecdote is widely considered to be untrue.
Albert Einstein was the bane of his teachers during his school years. His math teacher in particular was quite adamant that young Albert would never amount to anything. The teacher’s conclusion was based on Albert’s rebellious and anti-authoritarian attitude, and not his actual ability in class, which he otherwise excelled in.
:smack: (Do 5% of shark attacks happen without a shark?
Well, I did say OVER 95%.
Or maybe it was just a random, non-scientific sample. (See news for some congressman named Daniel Webster).
The popular holiday usually known simply as “the Fourth of July” is actually a commemoration of the Declaration of Independence of the thirteen colonies that became the original United States.
The U.S. flag has a total of fifty stars. These correspond to the number of states in the Union; early in the history of the republic, the custom arose of adding a new star whenever a new state is admitted to the Union.
The U.S. flag is flown outside the headquarters of the United Nations in New York City, along with the flags of all the other countries which are members of the UN. Like all the national flags flown there, it is flown at the same height as all the other flags, which are arranged in alphabetical order.
Flagpoles are often surmounted by a small metal ball or globe. These provide a nice little decorative “finishing touch” to the flagpole. (Sometimes instead of a ball the flagpole will have a little statue of an eagle on top.)
Some flags–like the ones found in solemn and important places such as courtrooms–are surrounded by a gold fringe. Those look especially sharp, don’t they?
ALL TRUE PATRIOTS AND LOVERS OF OLD GLORY SHOULD FORWARD THESE FACTS TO EVERYONE THEY KNOW!
There was a young boy, Timmy, barely old enough to read, which he loved to do, especially under his covers, at night, with the help, of a flashlight, which had been one of his father’s prized possessions, before the father had been killed by a drunk driver speeding to get away from one the the brave, noble police officers who, like all of his fellow officers, is just doing his duty so we can all live in a free land. Timmy’s daddy was passed out in the back of the pick up, where his friend had thrown him because the smell of vomit was too strong. Sadly, when the truck rolled, Timmy’s daddy wasn’t saved by the angels.
Anyway, Timmy knew his mother didn’t have enough money to pay the bills or the bobs, or the toms. He really didn’t know why his mother had so many pushers, but he knew she was too broke for food. Timmy was a good boy, so he saved his dinner of meager leftover, stinking, rotten food for his younger sister, because she needed it more. Also, she didn’t have any sense of smell, so she could tolerate it.
One day Timmy discovered a lump on his chest. It was different from the other lumps he would get when the bullies would beat him up, or the lumps on the dog’s head when Timmy would come home and beat him up.
He knew that he could never tell his mother, because she didn’t have enough money for him to see the doctor, and also they had just gotten the welfare check so she would be high for a week.
At school, he began to cough up blood, so they took him to the hospital, where he was discovered that he have cancer though out his body. The doctor shook his head, saying that only a miracle could save this little boy.
A famous baseball player, well past his prime, but try desperately to stay in the majors to avoid the cancellation clause in his product endorsement deals was visiting the children’s hospital as part of his 200 hours of community service, stopped by Timmy’s bed and promised him he would create a miracle. He would hit a home run and Timmy would get better.
Timmy was so eagerly waiting the next game. He woke up early and waited all day by the TV. Finally, the game was on. Timmy was so excited, but couldn’t understand why the pro was benched and didn’t start. Timmy knew that the pro was sorry. He could see how sick the pro felt, with his bloodshot eyes. It must have been the tears. Even the announcer was saying what a sorry sight he was.
Then, in the bottom of the ninth, the starter was injured, so the manager called the pro to pinch hit. The pro straightened himself up, and pointed to deep center. Timmy’s friends in the ward were all cheering him on. Even the doctors and nurses stopped their work to watch. Timmy finally, for the first time in his tiny life, felt important.
The first pitch was a fast ball, straight down the middle. The pro swung, and there was a mighty crack as the bat splintered into a thousand bits, with the cork flying out.
Fortunately, Timmy didn’t see his hero’s disgrace, because his heart had given out, and all of the staff was still occupied with the game.
So when it seems that all is lost, remember Timmy, and know that you, too, can die pointlessly.
50% of all babies are born within 7 days of a full moon.
50% of all crime is committed within 7 days of a full moon.
40% of all sick days are taken on a Monday or Friday.
One Halloween a guy down the street handed out candy with dangerous things in it that could kill children:
peanuts.
Grover Cleveland faced a lot of problems during his Presidency. One day a man brought his son in to meet the President and Cleveland said “Young man, I am making a strange wish for you. It is that you may never be president of the United States.”
That little boy grew up to be a dentist.
A marble thrown off the observation deck of the Empire State Building will get you arrested.