I have a new catchphrase: “The elephant section”.
I was looking for an Xmas present for my friend, and I saw something that I liked, but that was a bit more than I wanted to spend. He and I are big Peanuts fans. (This is the same guy who, along with Mr. Rilch, let me think that they were okay with my idea of dressing up as Linus, Lucy and Charlie Brown for Halloween.) I was in a boutique that had Peanuts stuff, including ceramic figurines as well as plush and PVC items. I wanted to get him the ceramic of Linus and Charlie Brown leaning pensively on the brick wall, but I hesitated because of the price.
I didn’t find anything else I liked better, so the next day, I went back to the boutique, and of course, all the ceramics were there, except the one I wanted.
I don’t know why I and other people always do this when what we want isn’t on the shelf: we just have to give ourselves the extra aggravation of asking the clueless cashier. But I did. I got in line and asked him: “I’m looking for a figurine that I saw here yesterday. It was Linus and Charlie–”
“Yes, try the elephant (pronounced “elly-phant”) section.” He pointed to a corner with shelves of ceramic jungle animals.
“No, I’m not looking for an elephant; I’m looking for a Peanuts figurine.”
“Yes, try the ellyphant section.”
“Look, I still don’t think you understand. I’m talking about a figurine that was on this shelf yesterday; it’s not here now and I wondered if there was another one in the back.”
“No, what’s out is all we have.”
Well, that sucks. Now I really want that figurine, especially in light of Schulz’ retirement. But from now on, when someone gives non-directions, I’ll just figure whatever it is is in the ellyphant section.
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green